DNAS: The Red Sandal Diaries

Dunia yang Kelabu

2011-12-31T23:56:00.000+08:00

Eh, tetiba ada framelah pulak gambar ni, kaaan?

Taklah, ini bukan review yang serius sangat sebenarnya. Cuma nak kasitau korang, aku dah baca Kelabu yang ditulis oleh Nadia Khan. Bolehlah korang jeles sampai juling bijik mata.

Kepada yang tak tahu hujung pangkal, Kelabu ni ialah novel terbitan Fixi. Kalau nak beli ada jual kat major bookstores. Kalau malas nak pegi bookstore, boleh pegi dekat http://fixi.com.my . Boleh order online kat situ (sambil-sambil tu, korang orderlah buku Jerat sekali, ek? Tima kasih... hehehe).

Ramai yang baca novel ni mendapat kejutan besar di tengah-tengah cerita.

Tapi, aku pulak, dah terbaca satu review yang mengandungi spoiler. Maka reaksi dan perasaan aku semasa membaca seluruh buku ni agak berbeza. Dari awal, rasa bukan main excited, tapi pada masa yang sama, rasa macam sedih dan sayu semacam.

Bukannya apa, dulu aku ada sorang work colleague yang hidup di dunia kelabu sebijik macam situasi Amir (watak utama dalam novel Kelabu ni). Nama colleague aku tu Jack. Aku tak sempat kenal dia betul-betul walaupun dia duduk selang dua tiga meja aje dari cubicle aku.

Jack kerja kat ofis aku tak lama, setahun lebih je, aku rasa. Bila dia dah resign, tempat dia digantikan oleh budak lain. Aku ada jugak menyiasat kenapa Jack ni resign. Menurut Team Leader dan managernya, Jack ada masalah peribadi. Dia tak boleh kongsi dengan sesiapa pun. Ok, bunyi macam serius gila, kan?

Oleh kerana aku bukanlah jenis suka sangat menyebok tepi kain orang, aku diam aje. Dia dah nak resign, biar ajelah. (Walaupun dalam hati menjerit-jerit nak tahu apakah masalah peribadi dia tu yang sebenarnya, haaaa?)

Selang beberapa bulan, ex-manager dia (yang kebetulan adalah manager aku) bagitau bad news. Jack dah meninggal, accident on the way turun dari Cameron Highlands (eh, ke Genting Highlands, ek? Akupun dah tak berapa ingat. Benda ni jadi dah 2 tahun lepas.)

Jadi, aku ngan kengkawan pun bersedih-sedihlah dengan kematian Jack. Dia memang muda sangat lagi, baru nak masuk 26 masa tu, kalau tak silap aku. Tak lama lepas dengar cerita dia dah meninggal, aku siap termimpi-mimpikan Jack. (Eh, aku pernah blog pasal mimpi ni. Kalau aku rajin korek archive blog ni, nanti aku letak linknya, ye?)

Satu hari, aku lepak kat surau dengan sorang akak pre-sales ni. Dia kenal Jack jugak. Dia tanya aku dah dengar belum berita tentang Jack. Aku jawablah, ya. Pastu, akak tu tanya, version mana yang aku dengar? Aku kasitaulah yang aku dengar cerita dia accident kereta. Akak pre-sales tu kata yang tu sebenarnya cover version. Kisah sebenarnya ialah Jack memang pergi Cameron Highlands (atau mungkin Genting Highlands), tapi masa menghala turun, dia berhentikan kereta kat satu tempat dan bunuh diri dalam kereta.

Aku memang terkejut dan sedih tak hingat bila dengar cerita akak tu. Menurut rumours, masalah peribadi dia (yang menyebabkan dia resign tu) ada kaitan dengan komplikasi hidupnya dalam dunia kelabu. Kemungkinan besar, masalah yang sama telah menyebabkan dia ambil keputusan untuk menamatkan riwayatnya sendiri. Ish, sayu sampai menitis airmata, okeh!

Jadi, bila aku baca Kelabu, sepanjang cerita aku terbayangkan Jack. Dahlah cover depan tu body macam mendiang Jack tu jugak. Ish! Sedih oi!

Maka, korang nampaklah bahawasanya blog entri aku ni tak buat review Kelabu sangat, pun. Tapi aku cuma nak korang tahu, kehidupan kawan-kawan kita dalam dunia Kelabu adalah agak tragic, tak tahu masa depan, nak tangkis tanggapan masyarakat, penerimaan keluarga belum tentu OK dan macam-macam lagi dugaan yang terpaksa dihadapi.

Bila aku baca part hujung-hujung cerita Kelabu ni, memang rasa nak nangis. Jahat macam mana pun kita, tuhan tetap sayangkan kita, kan? Masa tu jugaklah aku terpikir, if only Jack ada supportive friends and family members. If only Jack rapat dengan orang-orang yang boleh membimbing dia. If only Jack dapat menerima fitrah. Mungkin hari ni, tiap-tiap pagi aku pergi ofis, aku masih dapat ucap Good Morning dekat dia. Sobs.

Injury update

2011-12-29T14:21:00.002+08:00

I hurt my right knee and my ribcage when I had a fall two weeks ago. Yeah, I fell! It's been 17 years since I last fell. I hate falling because I totally lost control over my body.
The doctor advised me not to walk or climb stairs too much. I was supposed to rest at home for 4 days with the right leg raised slightly higher whenever I lie down or sitting on the sofa. I did just that, resting at home watching TV and reading 1Q84.
On Monday, 4 days after the fall, I decided to start working and it was a stupid decision. My knee was swollen by the time I reached home that night.
So, the healing process was slow. I couldn't walk or pray properly. Driving to the office and customer's place was quite a torture.
Last Friday, the skin on my knee started peeling off. It's not swollen anymore but I couldn't climb the stairs like a normal person. I felt like a handicap.( If only they let us park our cars at the reserved OKU spots when we hurt our knees. ) I went to see the doctor for a follow up session.
This morning, I felt slightly better and tried running up the stairs. The knee didn't ache, so I suppose next week I should start going to the gym. Hehe. I think the gym misses me. ;)

Lagi satu entri pendek je...

2011-12-26T19:59:00.002+08:00

Satu ketika dahulu, aku bercita-cita tinggi nak jadi penulis. Aku ingatkan, bila karya aku diterbitkan, aku akan jadi happy gila. Tapi hakikatnya, bila orang dah baca buku kita, diorang akan minta lagi (mungkin sebab diorang suka sangat ataupun diorang tak puas hati, hihihi).
Maka, apa yang aku rasa sebenarnya, happy melompat-lompat masa penerbit terima karya itu dan bagi green light untuk diterbitkan. Bila dah ramai yang baca dan 'nak lagi' ni, maka aku pulak yang tak senang duduk memikirkan bila aku nak start menulis lagi?
Tipu sangat kalau aku kata aku terus nak retire, kan? Sebab dalam kepala hotak aku dah macam-macam kisah, plot dan character yang berlegar-legar. Macam nak singgah, macam tak nak singgah.
Baru sekarang aku faham kata-kata seorang sasterawan: 'Sesungguhnya seniman itu, hatinya gundah.'
Chewah, perasan seniman la pulaaaak. Hahaha!

Entri yang pendek gila

2011-12-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

Ini entri aku yang pendek gila. Rasa macam nak tulis guna bahasa SMS je.
Dulu aku pernah main sofbol.
Aku teringin nak tulis satu cerita tentang permainan sofbol. Tapi, ada ke orang Malaysia yang berminat dengan sukan sofbol? Jeng jeng jeng!

In 10 minutes

2011-12-14T16:17:00.002+08:00

Note: this blog entry was typed non-stop within 10 minutes. Please forgive any typo you spot

Ok, let's see what I can come up with in just 10 minutes. How many words I can produce in this page, given only 10 minutes? I don't know yet. Let's wait till the 10 minutes is up. I can never write a poem in just 10 minutes. A pantun, perhaps? Nah, I'm not in the mood to compose a pantun. You need to have some motivation before you can compose pantun or syair. Eh, who the hell still write syair these days? I haven't seen any syair being published by the newspapers or magazines for god knows how many years already.
So, do you think our syair is dying? Do our children appreciate syair? Do they know how to compose one? Do they know that long long time ago, people in love would recite syair by the window at night while gazing at the full moon, wishing that their loved ones were near?
If syair is dying, then what ever happened to our seloka and gurindam? I don't know how to compose neither. Pantun dua kerat and empat kerat are the only Malay poem I learned in school. Even then, back in the 90s many of my friends were not interested in composing pantuns. It was difficult when you need to think of pembayang and maksud. Well, the first two lines are called pembayang although they don't membayangkan anything, while the last two lines are called maksud. Those 2 lines are the only thing that matters. Usually the pembayang is full of unrelated things like bunga seroja kembang mewangi, pucuk labu tumbuh melata, junjung sirih teguh kayunya. I still don't understand how we can call that as pembayang. Ah, I'm no expert. I only learned about pantun in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps, 100 years ago, it was taught differently. People really know how to write the pembayang and how to relate them to the maksud of the pantun. These days, some of us have never heard of the objects mentioned in old Malay pantuns' pembayang.
Besides pantun, syair, seloka and gurindam I have no idea what are the other legacies that have died their natural deaths. Language and art are so dynamic and we lost a few things along the way. Just like we never use words such as sahaya, sayugia and even sementelah in our conversation or formal letters anymore. Languages are changing and people too. When was the last time a friend call you up just to ask how you're doing? Everytime the phone rings, I knew that caller was going to ask something from me. It's never just simple 'Buat apa tu?' or 'Apa khabar?'
Well, what to do. My 10 minutes is up! And I managed to put down some ramblings today. Hehe.

Dan seorang lagi kembali kepada Nya.

2011-11-27T15:59:00.001+08:00

Dalam satu entri yang kutulis lewat bulan April, dua rakan baru disahkan menghidap kanser. Ketika itu hati sudah terasa retak. Dada sendiri terasa sesak. Apa lagi bila aku saban hari dihidangkan dengan gambar anak-anak comel di Facebook milik salah seorang rakanku ini.
Selang beberapa hari, seorang daripada mereka telah mengadap Ilahi dan mengejutkan kami semua. Kansernya baru di tahap kedua, tetapi Allah maha besar. Rakanku dijemput Pencipta setelah mengadu sakit dada.
Jadi, seorang lagi rakan telah meneruskan perjuangan memerangi kanser. Saban hari, hati terusik membaca statusnya di Facebook, apa lagi bila dia memuat naik gambar anak-anak kecilnya yang gembira kerana 'Papa selalu ada kat rumah sejak papa sakit'. Apalah yang anak kecil itu faham. Pasti sahaja hatinya gembira, apatah lagi si Papa memang kerap bekerja sehingga lewat malam dan selalu ke luar kawasan.
Dia dahulunya bertugas di syarikat yang sama denganku. Kemudian, dia mengambil keputusan untuk mencuba nasib di tempat baru. Beberapa bulan setelah bertukar kerja, aku ada bertemunya di One World Hotel, dia nampak gembira. Beratnya juga sudah bertambah, begitu ketara.
Setelah disahkan mengidap kanser, terbukti rakan yang seorang ini, begitu tabah orangnya. Walaupun hanya berhubung di Facebook dan email, nadanya sentiasa ceria. Dugaan demi dugaan dilalui tetapi tidak sesekali dia menulis tentang perkara-perkara yang negatif. Mungkin setiap kali dia berhubung dengan rakan-rakan, dia hanya ingin mereka gembira. Derita yang ditanggungnya, ditelan sendiri.
Beberapa orang rakan pergi menjengahnya di hospital ketika menerima rawatan. Semua mengatakan dia begitu kuat dan tabah. Jenaka dan gelak tawanya masih sama. Walaupun menanggung kesakitan, hanya dia yang tahu.
Kerap juga dia menulis tentang kesan-kesan sampingan rawatan yang diterima. Kesakitan sedemikian tidak dapat aku gambarkan. Aku hanya mampu mendoakan agar Allah permudahkan urusannya dunia dan akhirat.
Sejak seminggu lalu, aktivitinya di Facebook bagai terhenti. Rakan-rakan sedia maklum dia sedang menerima rawatan kemoterapi kitaran ke 6. Mengikut perancangan asal, dia sepatutnya menjalani pemindahan sumsum tulang beberapa minggu lepas, tetapi terpaksa ditangguhkan kerana doktor mendapati pendermanya kurang sesuai.
Bila tiada update di Facebook, kami sudah faham, pasti rawatan kali ini lebih sukar daripada sebelumnya.
Namun, aku tidak sesekali menduga kali ini dugaannya terlalu hebat dan rakanku ini tewas akhirnya. Semalam, selesai solat Zuhur, aku menerima pesanan ringkas daripada seorang lagi teman tentang khabar sedih itu. Rakanku yang tabah telah pergi menemui Pencipta.
Hanya Al Fatihah dan doa mampu aku sedekahkan, agar Allah permudahkan juga urusannya di sana.
Aku doakan juga isteri dan 2 anak kecilnya yang belum mengerti apa-apa akan tabah dengan kehidupan baru, dimurahkan rezeki dan sentiasa dalam lindungan Allah.

Kedai kopi di siar kaki?

2011-11-21T16:01:00.001+08:00

Lebih kurang 4 tahun dahulu, aku pernah duduk menghirup Nescafe ais bersama-sama seorang teman yang gemarkan kopi-o keras di sebuah kafeteria sebuah pelabuhan. Temanku itu gemar juga menyedut asap tembakau sebatang demi sebatang hingga kadang-kadang 2 kotak sehari.
Pada suatu petang, setelah Nescafe dan kopi-o dipesan, kami duduk berbual tentang keanehan mimpi. Dia menceritakan mimpi-mimpi karut yang pernah menjengah tidurnya. Aku tiba-tiba tergerak hati untuk berkongsi sebuah mimpi yang tidak pernah aku ceritakan kepada sesiapa.
Beberapa tahun selepas kematian ayah, aku masih kerap termimpi-mimpikannya. Ada kalanya aku bermimpi melihat arwah beristirehat di rumah, ada kala aku ternampak arwah hanya berdiri memandang ke hadapan. Mimpi yang aku paling ingat, yang terasa seolah-olah seperti benar-benar berlaku ialah bila aku terserempak dengan arwah ayah di sebuah kedai kopi di tepi siar kaki. Aku tidak pasti sama ada itu di negara Perancis atau Itali. Tetapi, kelihatan arwah ayah sedang asyik membaca sebuah akbar berbahasa Inggeris sambil menikmati secawan kopi. Sebatang curut di celah gigi.
Paling aneh, di dalam setiap mimpi, arwah ayah tidak pernah memandang atau berbicara denganku. Di dalam mimpi-mimpiku arwah kelihatan masih berusia sekitar 40an, mengenakan kemeja kegemarannya, berseluar panjang dan bercapal. Sungguh sederhana.
Jadi berbalik kepada mimpi tadi, aku cuba mendekati arwah ayah dan menegurnya. Tapi sayang dia hanya berdiam diri dan terus khusyuk dengan pembacaan. Jadi aku hanya duduk memerhati. Bila akhbar sudah sampai ke penghujungnya dan kopi pahit habis diteguk semua, dia pun bangun meninggalkan meja. Aku menegur sekali lagi, tetapi dia tidak berpaling. Ya, aku menerima hakikat kami sudah tidak berada di dimensi yang sama.
Temanku, si penggemar rokok dan kopi-o keras itu menasihati agar jangan ambil hati. Itu semua hanya mainan rasa. Apa yang sering dirindukan deria rasa, lazimnya muncul dalam mimpi. Aku tak pasti kebenarannya.
Perbualan di petang berangin itu sudah 4 tahun berlalu. Aku hampir terlupa tentang mimpi yang satu itu. Sehingga pagi kelmarin, bila aku melayari Facebook dan terlihat sebuah gambar yang dimuat naik oleh temanku ini. Betul-betul seperti apa yang pernah menjengah aku dalam mimpi. Sebuah kedai kopi kecil di tepi siar kaki. Gambar dimuat naik dari Itali. Aku merenung gambar itu berkali-kali, dan aku terus jadi emo sepanjang hari.

The simple things in life

2011-11-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

A few years ago I wrote something here about things I love like gardening, traveling and crochet. Well, crochet is a craft almost forgotten by the younger generation nowadays. I was lucky because my late grandma taught me how do it when I was only 9 years old.

My mom never planned to get me to learn this craft because to her, I was too boyish to be doing anything this girly. Well actually this is not really a girly stuff because I've met a few men who know how to make beautiful crochet.

So, one day in 1983 I went for a sleepover at my grandma's house. She was all alone. Well, in fact she's been living alone most of the time as my youngest uncle who was a teacher, was posted quite far from our hometown. My mom and I used to visit my grandma during the weekends. So, that Saturday I didn't follow my mom home and decided to stay with my grandma.

My grandma was a strong woman who's not only independent but also very determined. So, that night she lectured me about a few things (not to be a tomboy was one of them). The next day she brought out a funny looking needle and crochet yarn. First she showed me how to do it, then she passed the needle and yarn to me.

My hands are not that flexible, so it was very difficult to yarn over and sticking the needle in the right stitch without hurting my fingers. After about 4 hours, finally I managed to produce a decent looking basic stitch.

Crochet pun ada encyclopedia, don't play-play.

So, that was what happened 28 years ago. Ever since I could master the basic stitch, I've been learning a few other stitches and patterns from relatives, friends and books. The funny thing was, most of the patterns I got were passed down from older relatives. They were photocopied from Japanese crochet books. I couldn't understand any of the instructions, so I just guessed them based on the patterns.
In 1998, I found the first crochet book written in English. I bought 3 of them. There are about 20 patterns in each book, but they were expensive. One of them cost me more than RM40.
I've completed about 10 projects ever since. The pieces are lying at a few places in my house: the coffe table, shoe rack, computer monitor and book rack. Some are kept in the drawers as I don't know where to put them. Some are just too 80s and don't match my furniture.
The last project I did was way back in 2001. After the birth of my first child, I couldn't find the time for crochet. I was either too occupied, or I was afraid that my baby would find the needle, play with it and hurt himself. So, my crochet box and books have been hidden in the loneliest corner, collecting dust.
Last week, as I was browsing books at MPH, I found the Crochet Stitches Visual Encyclopedia (picture). There are hundreds of stitches and patterns that I've never seen my whole life! I was so excited that I bought the book without a second thought.
Now that this major project I'm doing is almost completed, I'm planning to start a crochet project soon! However, I'll need to find a way to hide the needles from Zarif. He's just too curious about things.

Writing: The learning part

2011-10-19T22:08:00.001+08:00

My friends used to tell me that if you wanna write, then you should read many books and attend writing workshops. I wanted to write but I didn't have that much time to read as many books. I also couldn't spare a few days to attend any workshop. When I decided to write my first novel, I just wrote it. The truth is, I didn't really know the do's and don't's in fiction writing.
I think I've wrote in this blog earlier that I've been wanting to become an author for quite some time but didn't really do anything about it. I just updated this blog once in a while, so that I could practice my writing.
Besides that, in 2008 I bought this book. I never finished reading it or did any of the exercises. I only managed to read Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.

So, this week, after my debut novel has been in the market for a month, I'm going to continue with Chapter 3. Hahaha!

Amerika and books from Big Bad Wolf sale

2011-10-15T00:16:00.001+08:00

I bought Amerika from the author himself, Ridhwan Saidi on 17th September 2011 (yup, on the same day Jerat was launched). And yeah, I managed to get his autograph. There are many reviews posted on blogs of this 2nd novel from Ridhwan. His first novel is Cekik, which I read in May 2011.

A few readers managed to finish reading Amerika in just a few hours but it took me almost a month! It's been a busy month for me as I was doing a few projects simultaneously and at the same time I had to attend problem calls at customers' place.

So, when did I have the time to read? One hour before retiring to bed. That is if the boys behaved. Otherwise, I'd end up playing games with them.

So, what's so interesting about Amerika? If you are the type of reader who's only interested in plot, then you should pick this book up and start enjoying something quite different. I have been reading many Grisham's, Dan Brown's and Jeffrey Archer's books and it's only natural that I love stories with twists, colourful characters, thrilling scenes etc. But when I started reading Amerika, it was like having my first taste of chicken tikka masala after years of eating masak lemak cili api.

The book, to me is not a heavy reading material. It allows me to drift. It's a great choice for unwinding after a tiring day. Sipping my hot Neslo while reading Amerika was enough to make me forget about bitchy Account Managers, demanding customers and Malaysian drivers' attitude.

I took my time enjoying every paragraph as if it's my own journey along a kampung road with asam jawa trees lining each side. I could feel some heat from the sun but the shadow keeps me cool.

I have to admit that I admire the main character: Murshid Merican. He takes charge of his life. He throws away his cell phone! (I wish I could do that). He cares a lot about his friends, his city, his people and his country. And he expresses himself well.

You don't have to guess the plot of this book, just go with the flow. Just have fun. Think freely. Or just don't think at all.

You can buy it online at fixi.com.my

A few days after I was done reading Amerika, I needed new books so I headed to Big Bad Wolf sale held at MAEPS (yup, that huge place where MAHA is held anually). This was my first time going to this huge book warehouse sale, so I didn't know what to expect. But I managed to do a few homework before deciding to go. I checked the website and read Leen Bakar's blog entry that provided some tips and tricks on how to survive at BBW.

I went there after having a meeting in Putrajaya (which is only 15 minutes drive from MAEPS). I skipped lunch as I had to be back at the customer's office by 3pm.

When I parked my car it was already 1.30pm. The hall didn't seem that far from where I parked, so I decided to walk. After 2 minutes walking, I started to regret my decision because it was simmering hot, and I was wearing black long pants with black blouse. Bad choice of clothes.

I guess I entered the hall with a red face but excitement made me ignored it. Since it was my first time at BBW sale, I was a bit 'jakun' and felt like a child who got the chance to play at a huge playground.

I made an end to end quick browsing before stopping at tables with books that I thought were quite interesting. My friend/work colleague was also there so we had fun reading Chic Lit and horror synopsis. I lost interest in Chic Lit since I don't remember when. Perhaps I am getting older.

After more than an hour, I only managed to grab 5 books, 4 novels and 1 novella. I'm starting with the novella first, because it's thin. Hehe. Hope I can finish it by this weekend. I'm going to find the time to clear my mind, sit on my favorite armchair and enjoy the novella. It's entitled First Love. Yeah, let's get romantic this weekend. Hope you'll have a nice one too! Peace y'all!!

These - for only RM37

Aiman nak dua puluh ringgit je.

2011-10-09T14:34:00.000+08:00

Aiman terasa berdebar-debar hendak meminta wang daripada ibu. Cikgu sudah berpesan kepada semua murid dalam kelas 4 Delima untuk membawa duit lebih pada hari esok kerana ada pasaria di sekolah. Aiman sudah membaca flyers yang diedarkan oleh pelajar-pelajar darjah 6. Ada satu gerai yang akan menjual bantal Angry Birds berharga 20 ringgit.

Aiman sudah lama teringinkan bantal Angry Birds. Bantal yang ada sekarang sudah buruk benar, ada gambar Buzz Lightyear yang sudah pudar. Usianya mungkin sudah mencecah 7 tahun.

Ibu sedang sibuk memasak makan malam ketika Aiman menghampiri.

"Ibu, besok Aiman nak 20 ringgit. Nak beli Angry Birds dekat pasaria," katanya takut-takut.

Ibu cuma mengangguk sambil mengacau kari di dalam belanga, dahinya basah dek peluh. Aiman berdiri tegak sambil memerhati perbuatan ibunya, dia menunggu kalau-kalau ibu akan berkata 'OK'. Tetapi ibu hanya senyap dan tidak mengendahkannya.

Aiman sedikit kecewa lalu pergi ke ruang tamu dan duduk di sisi ayah yang sedang membaca akhbar.

"Ayah, besok Aiman nak 20 ringgit. Nak beli Angry Birds dekat pasaria," katanya kepada ayah.

"Hm," ucap ayah pendek dan kemudian terbatuk-batuk kecil lalu berdehem.

"Boleh ke, ayah?" tanya Aiman, meminta kepastian.

"Hm," kata ayah lagi, matanya masih terpaku pada berita hangat di dada akhbar. Langsung tidak berpaling ke arah anak bongsunya.

Melihatkan ayah yang masih ralit membaca, Aiman berlari menaiki tangga ke tingkat atas dan mengetuk bilik Along.

"Masuk!" jerit Along dengan nada sedikit jengkel. Dia tahu Aiman yang berdiri di luar. "Aiman nak apa?" tanya Along sebaik pintu terkuak sedikit.

"Along, besok Aiman nak 20 ringgit. Nak beli Angry Birds dekat pasaria," kata Aiman sambil bersandar di tepi meja belajar Along.

Mata Along terus terbeliak. "Along mana ada duit sebanyak tu!"

"Tu, dalam tabung tu," Aiman memuncungkan bibir menunjuk ke arah tabung harimau milik Along.

"Itu duit simpanan. Along nak masuk Tabung Haji!" Along naik marah. Kadang-kadang permintaan Aiman agak melampau.

"Takpe lah," kata Aiman, separuh merajuk lalu berlari turun tangga untuk mencari Kak Ngah.

Kak Ngah sedang duduk bersama nenek di bangku batu di laman rumah. Lutut Kak Ngah terluka kerana terjatuh dan nenek sedang membersihkan dengan kapas dan cecair Dettol. Aiman duduk di tepi nenek memerhatikan darah yang menitik di lantai.

"Kak Ngah, besok Aiman nak 20 ringgit. Nak beli Angry Birds dekat pasaria, boleh?" tanya Aiman perlahan.

Kak Ngah mengetap gigi, rasa pedih menusuk bila nenek menyapu Dettol di tempat luka yang agak dalam.

"Sakitnya, nenek," ujar Kak Ngah dan airmata mula mengalir.

"Sabarlah, sikit saja ni. Tapi, mesti bersihkan dulu. Kalau tidak takut terkena jangkitan kuman pulak," pujuk nenek. Kak Ngah terus pejamkan mata dan tidak menjawab soalan Aiman tadi.

"Nenek, besok Aiman nak 20 ringgit. Nak beli Angry Birds dekat pasaria, boleh?" tanya Aiman kepada nenek pula.

Serentak itu, mangkuk berisi larutan Dettol terjatuh dari meja dan berkecai di lantai. Nenek terus terkejut.

"Opocot pocot jatuh! Adoi! Abih jatuh. Pecah berderai dah jatuh," nenek melatah lalu Kak Ngah tiba-tiba ketawa melihat aksi lucu itu.

Beberapa ketika kemudian, nenek dan Kak Ngah berpelukan dan masih ketawa. Masing-masing terasa lucu dengan situasi tadi. Aiman hanya duduk memerhati dari tepi. Dia yakin Kak Ngah dan nenek tidak berminat untuk melayan permintaannya.

Aiman terus berlari masuk ke dalam bilik tidur. Dia kecewa, air mata membasah bantal Buzz Lightyear. Bila ibu memanggilnya untuk makan malam, Aiman katakan dia tidak lapar. Dia sedih, merajuk dan kecewa. Semua orang tidak sudi memberinya 20 ringgit untuk membeli bantal Angry Birds. Aiman menangis hingga tertidur. Malam itu dia bermimpi tidur di atas bantal baru yang diidamkan, tetapi tiba-tiba bantal itu direnggut kasar oleh satu tangan besar yang berbulu lebat. Aiman menangis teresak-esak di dalam mimpinya.

Malam itu juga ibu, ayah, Along, Kak Ngah dan nenek tidak dapat melelapkan mata. Mereka pasti ada sesuatu yang tidak kena dengan Aiman kerana dia tidak mahu makan malam. Kebiasaannya dia tidak begitu. Masing-masing rasa bersalah pula kerana tidak menghiraukan Aiman.

Ayah dan Along teringat permintaan Aiman lalu menyelitkan 20 ringgit di bawah pintu bilik. Ibu, nenek dan Kak Ngah teringat Aiman ada meminta wang tetapi tidak pasti berapa, lalu ibu dan nenek selitkan 50 ringgit dan Kak Ngah selitkan 30 ringgit.

Bila Aiman bangun keesokan harinya, dia terkejut melihat not 10 dan 50 ringgit yang berterabur berhampiran pintu biliknya. Aiman kutip satu persatu sambil tersenyum. Dia yakin itu pemberian ibu dan ayah. RM170 kesemuanya. Aiman begitu gembira lalu cepat-cepat mandi, pakai baju sekolah dan turun ke bawah untuk bersarapan.

Aiman capai roti bakar yang sudah disapu mentega sebelum mengucup pipi ibu.

"Terima kasih ibu!" ucapnya riang. Ibu mengucup dahi Aiman dan berasa lega kerana rajuk Aiman sudah terhapus.

Van sekolah tiba awal, Aiman tidak sempat untuk mengucapkan terima kasih kepada ayah yang masih di tingkat atas.

Tengahari itu Aiman semakin girang bila kembali dari sekolah. Ibu dan nenek hanya tersenyum memerhati gelagatnya.

"Dah dapat hajat di hati?" tanya ibu. Aiman cuma mengangguk lalu terus berlari naik ke biliknya.

Pintu bilik dikunci dan beg sekolah diselongkar. Hajat di hati sudah berada di dalam tangannya. Aiman berbaring dengan senang hati.

Sudah ada RM170, buat apa nak beli bantal Angry Birds? Maka Aiman telah membeli sebuah iPod Touch second hand daripada seorang pelajar darjah 6. Aiman terus-terusan tersenyum senang hari itu sambil jarinya ligat dengan permainan Angry Birds di iPod Touch.

Zarif is two!!

2011-10-06T18:12:00.000+08:00

Zarif turned two during the fasting month. I was so lazy to blog about it then, so only managed to put up a few of his latest photos today. He is now big enough to take his own drink from the fridge and can take clothes off himself.

I love orange, look at my Asadi slippers

Now he can construct simple but complete sentences like 'Nak pegi taman!' and 'Taknak makan nasik!'. He can also pronounce his brothers' names properly.

I wanna play ball

But still, he's not that interested to watch TV. He'd rather watch You Tube on the iPad and plays with his toys. Almost every night, he's the last one to fall sleep (before me). He's probably not going to be a morning person too (just like me) as he'll only wake up at around 9a.m.
The Kakak at the daycare told us a few times that Zarif can see small objects from very far away, and it amazed them. I think my boy has bionic eyes (maybe, well... who knows). Perhaps that's the reason why he doesn't like watching TV.

Almost wordless Friday

2011-09-30T23:21:00.003+08:00

At the launch, in front of the poster

With Gina, author of Ngeri

With Fazleena, the cover girl

With Gina and Amir (tokey FIXI)

First time doing book signing.

Jerat is now available at MPH, yeay!

Book signing at an open house in Gombak. Hahaha!

Reading at Seksan, Bangsar

Jerat will be launched on 17th Sept 2011

2011-09-11T00:05:00.001+08:00

My dear blog readers,

you are cordially invited to attend the launch of my debut novel, Jerat, together with Ngeri (Buku FIXI) and Nurul Asyikin (Siluet Books) on Saturday, 17th September 2011. It will be held at Annexe Gallery, Central Market.

There's also going to be Arts For Grab event happening here. So, please come for the fun and perhaps you'll find some rare books, paintings or handicrafts you've been searching for.

The official poster. Cool, kan?

Well, the original plan was for me to appear on TV9's NLKO after the launch. That would be on the 23rd Sept. However, last Thursday afternoon I received a phone call from my publisher and NLKO producer that my interview had been changed to Friday morning, 9th Sept.

I was actually not ready for it and haven't set my mind for the live interview yet. There were a few work related things that I had to settle by Friday but I didn't know why I said 'Yes' to the NLKO producer.

Luckily, the program was aired really early in the morning. I made a rough estimation, and I thought I'd be able to make it to my appointments set during office hours. I was also not that nervous as I knew most of my friends and work colleagues won't be watching it. Only my family was informed about the TV interview.

Aziz Desa was supercool. He made me feel at ease.

So, my hubby forced me to sleep by 10pm on Thursday night because he was afraid I couldn't wake up early the next morning. But it seemed like sleeping early was not a good idea after all because I was wide awake at 4.10a.m and didn't know what to do. So, I forced myself to go back to sleep.

I think I look like an ustazah. Hehehe.

LDP in the morning has always been unpredictable, so I decided to take KESAS, Subang, NKVE and then took the Damansara exit. So, the journey took me only 30 minutes, I arrived at Sri Pentas 20 minutes early. After some simple touch-up, I waited in the lounge provided with my publisher and a few actors from Raya Tak Jadi the movie. They were waiting for their turn to be interviewed by MHI.

Then, when my turn came I think it went really fast. I don't remember what were Aziz Desa's questions and what my answers were. I hope I was not telling any sick joke or accidentally mentioned any politician's name.

After the interview, at about 8.40a.m I rushed to Putrajaya for a project meeting and made it just on time. Phewwww!

Then, at 1.30pm, when I returned to office, the girls on my floor were screaming like mad because a few of them actually saw me on TV that morning. So, I was getting more interviews for the rest of the day. Wow, it was really an experience.

Jerat cover and synopsis.

Later that night, I saw a few tweets from tweeples who have received their copies and started reading it. I was praying hard they enjoyed it. This is my first novel (and first published work), so I have to admit that I'm very nervous about my readers' opinion.

I guess for the next few weeks I'll be googling for Jerat keywords to get readers' feedback. All kind of feedbacks are welcomed ;).

The book will be available at MPH bookstores starting next week, but if you can't find it, can always order online from fixi.com.my and get 15% discount.

Raya story 2

2011-09-06T17:18:00.000+08:00

"I left my heart here," said Fairul, the 24 year old university graduate in purple baju melayu.

He was munching dodol and rempeyek at once. Fusion food suit his taste buds. Sweet, creamy, salty, spicy - blending well in his mouth.

"Where? Under this tree?" asked his cousin, Malik who was 2 years older but hasn't completed his studies yet.

They were both seated on a wooden bench under an old rambutan tree near their maternal grandmother's kampung house. It was the first of Syawal.

"No, I mean here, at Uwan's house," answered Fairul with dreamy eyes.

Malik was holding a plate of dodol while Fairul had a container of rempeyek on his lap. They took them from Uwan's kitchen cabinet while everybody's busy taking family photos after the prayers.

"Oh, I think I know who. It must be Sarah, our second cousin. The pretty soon-to-be doctor," Malik teased his cousin.

Fairul continued munching rempeyek and smiled. Whenever he heard people mention Sarah's name, it brought tingling sensation inside him. He couldn't deny it anymore, he had fallen for his second cousin. The bright and chatty girl had stolen his heart when they sat at Uwan's kitchen, cutting lemang and ketupat during hari raya, 2 years ago.

"She will graduate this year. And I will ask her to marry me," Fairul proudly announced.
Malik stared at him, amazed.

"You can't just ask her to marry you. You have to tell you father to go and meet her father to discuss such things. That's how we, the Malay muslims do it," Malik reminded his cousin who had been staying abroad for a few years.

"But my father's not here now!" Fairul was frustrated.

His parents were in England. Fairul came back to Malaysia alone to celebrate hari raya with Uwan and the rest of the family.

"But, you can always tell my father about it. He can represent your father, I guess. They're brothers," Malik came up with a brilliant idea.

Fairul suddenly saw the ray of light.

"Yeah, your father can become the spokesperson while your mother can help prepare all the hantaran. How many do think we'll need? Seven trays, right?"

Fairul has already started visualizing the day he and Sarah were betrothed.

"We can borrow my brother's car to go to Sarah's family home. My brother, Khalil just bought a brand new Toyota Camry," Malik gave another idea.

He was also imagining a small feast where his mother would bring a golden ring into Sarah's room and slipped it onto her finger.

Fairul and Malik were deep in their imaginations when a small boy ran to them with an announcement.

"Abang Fairul, Kak Sarah asks for you. She's at Uwan's house. She's just arrived from Ipoh. Come! Hurry!" The small boy was almost breathless.

Fairul sprang to his feet, the rempeyek container rolled on the bench but Malik managed to get hold of it. Before Malik could say a word to his cousin, Fairul was already running towards Uwan's house. Once he reached the top of the stairs, he turned back to Malik and saw his cousin was giving two thumbs up, wishing him the best of luck.

Malik knew exactly what Fairul would do. He'd ask Sarah about her studies, then they would chat for a few minutes and after that he would pop the million dollar question. Fairul was the spontaneous type. He's impatient as well. Malik knew, before the next hour he'd be informed on the engagement date. He's so sure Sarah has fallen for Fairul too. He saw how the two of them exchange stolen glances, how Sarah purposely brushed Fairul's arms when she took the knife from him after he cut the lemang. So many things happened during that hari raya, 2 years ago.

Malik couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Fairul sauntering towards him 10 minutes later. His head down and both hands at his back. When finally he could see his face, clouds were hanging there - dark clouds. He kicked a small stone near the bench before sitting down with his eyes fixed on a row of ants heading towards the small pieces of dodol left on the plate.

"What happened?" Malik asked, half expecting his cousin was about to surprise him with some really good news.

"Well, firstly," said Fairul and then he paused, leaving Malik hanging to whatever patience he had left. "Firstly, Sarah's really pretty. She is like an angel." Fairul paused again.

"Well, that's good news. And?!!" Malik shook his cousin's arms. He needed to know all the details, quickly.

"Secondly, she has graduated last month."

Malik was already putting up his hands in the air by then. He was preparing for his ritual - the chicken dance. He'd do it whenever he heard good news. But this time, he pulled his hands down quickly when he saw Fairul's face was still cloudy. And that's when he told him.

"Thirdly, she's 5 months pregnant," Fairul dropped the bad news.

Malik's jaw dropped as he stared at his cousin in disbelief.

"What?!! How can she be pregnant?" he knew it's a stupid question to ask, but he needed to know what has happened to his cousin's dream girl.

"Well, she got married and the husband impregnated her, damn it! That's what happened."

Fairul was angry, his face was flushed. He had been suppressing his anger from the time Sarah introduced him to her husband, who was a doctor and drove a 7 Series Beemer. It got worse when he noticed Sarah's baby bump protruding underneath her loose kebarung.

"When did all that happen? Why were we not informed?" Malik still couldn't believe the news.

Fairul popped a piece of dodol into his mouth, the only peace spared by the ants. He chewed the dodol slowly.

"Apparently, Sarah married the doctor after hari raya, last year." At least that's what Uwan told him after he had a short, pretentious chat with Sarah's husband.

"Last year? Why didn't they invite us?" Now it's Malik's turn to be angry.

Fairul was quiet, he was still chewing his dodol slowly, savouring the sweetness while staring blankly at Uwan's house.

"In case you've forgotten, last year we were in Europe during summer. We didn't celebrate raya here. We were in Italy," Fairul reminded his cousin.

"Yeah, I just remembered. We were backpacking. That's why we missed Sarah's wedding."

All the things that happened last summer slowly crept into Malik's mind.

"Yeah, we were the two musafir who didn't fast last summer," said Fairul.

Malik kicked his cousins feet for the cruel reminder.

"We didn't fast, and now you're damned," said Malik.

"Yeah, I'm damned," Fairul agreed before picking up another piece of dodol - the ants' leftover.

Raya story

2011-08-26T14:28:00.000+08:00

"Are we preparing lemang or ketupat for raya?' shouted the impatient middle aged woman to her husband who was reading the newspaper. He didn't answer and continued reading until the wife pinched his bony thigh.

"Adoi! What's the matter with you? Can't you see I'm busy?" The man put down the newspaper and looked into his wife's fiery eyes.

"I was asking what are we preparing for raya? It's the 26th day of fasting today. We should start buying ingredients, otherwise everything will be sold out at the hypermarket," with raised voice the woman couldn't emphasize more the importance of making the decision promptly.

The man suddenly realized hari raya was just a few days away and he hadn't paid zakat fitrah for him and the entire family. He got up from the comfortable armchair and hastily put his baggy jeans on. The boxer brief he was wearing inside stuck out a bit from the back. He rushed to the console table to retrieve his car keys, wallet and cell phone.

"Hey, are we going to the hypermarket now? Wait! I haven't changed yet,"the wife shouted in disbelief.

"No, I have something more important to do now. Get yourself ready, I'll be back in 20 minutes," the man told his wife while putting on his Camel outdoor sandals.

The woman hurried to her room and changed into something more decent than her batik caftan. Then she ran to the kitchen to get the list of things she prepared two nights ago. She was closing the back door when the phone rang.

"Hello," she greeted the caller softly. She's not in a bad mood anymore. Finally the husband was going to bring her to buy groceries.

"Oi, where's my money? Did you take everything from my wallet?" the husband was shouting from the other end.

"Sorry, I didn't take your money. In fact, I haven't taken a single cent from your wallet since I started my baking business." Anger seeped through her. She could hear the husband groaning in the phone.
"Arghhh.....!" The man was mad.

He arrived at the mosque just in time to catch the amil. He did the maths in his head, RM7 times 7. He needed to pay the man RM49 for his whole family. But when he retrieved his wallet from the back pocket, he realized that all his RM50 notes were gone. He just withdrew RM300 the day before.

"Hello! Are you still there?" asked the wife.

"Yes, I'm here at the mosque to pay zakat fitrah. And now I don't have RM49 to pay the amil. This is so embarrassing!" the man was scratching his head and leaned towards the mosque's wall.

"Why so much? There's only you, me and Haziq. So, you only need RM21." The wife was confused. She knew how much zakat each muslim had to pay that year. Why did the husband needed RM28 more?

"Oh. I ... err... Well... ermmm.... " The husband just realized his mistake. When he did the maths in his head, he knew he had to pay for 7 people. But when he was arguing with his wife, he totally forgot that he hadn't told her about his 3 stepchildren and his new wife. He also forgot that he had given his RM300 to the new wife, the night before. Suddenly he felt dizzy. He pressed the 'End' button on his smartphone and massaged his temple.

End of conversation. End of lies. When he returned home later, it could be the end of him too.

Jerat: How it all started

2011-08-17T13:40:00.003+08:00

Er, well I recently wrote a book and it's going to be published soon. The book will be launched on 17th September at Annexe, Central Market. If you're surprised, so am I. I never thought I'll have the perseverance to complete a book. Not too long ago I dreamed about it, but the idea was shelved because I had too many things on my plate.

The cover, you'll find this in major bookstores in a month's time.

You can read the first chapter for free at the publisher website. I hope you'll like it. For most of my blog readers the blurb might ring bells to you because I've actually published a short story with almost the same storyline in this blog in early 2007. The main characters in Jerat are based on that short story. However, Jerat is in Bahasa Melayu and I created more twists and drama so that I could come up with 60,000 words.

Back in 2007 I didn't see any opportunity for such story to be published and sold in major bookstores. The local book industry was then (or even now) monopolized by love stories, political books and autobiographies. I didn't know how to fit in or create the opportunity.

So, when books from Fixi (which I've bought and read all) became such a hit with the young readers in 2011, I started to reconsider my story. That was when I started downloading an Open Source novel writing software and came up with my characters, story map etc. Since I've established the storyline back in 2007, it didn't take me long to complete the manuscript. I started writing my first paragraph on 1st June and submitted the completed manuscript on 5th July, which coincidently was my 37th birthday. Well, that has got to be the best birthday present I ever gave to myself.

Five weeks is a short time to write a story, considering the fact that I could only write after the kids have had dinner and prepared for bed. Sometimes, I skipped gym and went to the nearest Kopitiam and wrote at least a scene. Throughout the 5 weeks, I gained 2kg because I've been missing gym, and had a bit too much of Old Town White Coffee.

However, during the writing period I was very grateful that I took all the trouble to learn touch typing. When you have so many words pouring out from your head, the fingers were having trouble keeping up with the speed demand. Alhamdulillah I didn't go crazy during this writing process.

The author, yours truly.

If you're asking me about hope, well yes I have a few. Firstly, I hope Malaysian readers will understand the story (you see, sometimes I can be a bit syok sendiri, so I didn't even think about readers acceptance when I was writing this novel). Secondly, I hope readers will enjoy it.

Lastly, I hope all the IT people in this country will feel happier knowing that I wrote this book especially dedicated to us all. Yes, IT is used as the background. There might be some technical jargons and terminologies that are foreign to many. But, hey, there's always Google and Wikepedia.

Selamat berpuasa uolls!

I found this

2011-08-17T11:22:00.000+08:00

We are having our Srikandi dinner later this year and there was an email from Madam President asking for door gift sponsorship. Frankly speaking, I've ran out of ideas for door gift for any occasion. So, I googled for gifts and giveaways and found this Amsterdam printing tradeshow giveaways which is like a one stop shop for all kinds of giveaways.
I found it cool, as there are so many choices available and they are things I'd love to receive whenever I attend events. My favorite has to be water bottles. Hey, I have 2 school going sons. They keep on losing their water bottles at school. We usually had to buy 2 or 3 water bottles for them each semester.
So, I'm going to go through every item on this website and decide on one or two that might be suitable for our next corporate event. My company is also going to celebrate our 30th anniversary soon. I hope they'll get some ideas from Amsterdamprinting.

LFC Asia Tour 2011 - memories

2011-07-29T15:21:00.002+08:00

Mr Hubby posted some pictures and his story to LSCM and they were published this month on Walk On. Please click on the images to enlarge them.

Above was the view from where we were seated. We sat behind the scoreboard, ok. When we arrived, we didn't know the score. After so many goals scored by both sides, we went out without knowing the final score, still. After walking more than 1.5km to our car, I logged on to Twitter to know the result. Hahaha.

Here's the story shared by Mr Hubby. Yeah, we were so excited once we learned about LFC coming to Malaysia. Although we've been to Anfield twice but we never got the chance to watch them play. Next time, we should go during winter time.

Why oh why I didn't look at the camera when Mr Hubby snapped the above photo? That's me in that black and red tudung. It was half time, I don't know why Wazif was clapping.

Some more stories. Sorry Aquilani, your face is truncated. You're not staying for another season, aren't you?

Note: All pictures screen captured from LSCM magazine, Walk On.

SAHM? WAHM? And writing?

2011-07-27T16:49:00.001+08:00

It all started in January 2007. I remember posting about my dream to become a working at home mom. I was not really sure of what I could do at home other than driving the kids to school, fetching them in the evening, cooking, cleaning, gardening etc.

A friend suggested to start a clothing line but none of us knew how to design clothes. I could sew simple baju kurung and shirts but never taken any formal courses. Not long after we discussed this, I read in the gossip column that Victoria Bekham was planning to start her clothing line too. Hehe. Coincidence or what?

Another friend encouraged me to start baking, and I took some initiatives about a year later. I bought an oven and started baking. It was really fun trying all the new found recipes (mostly Googled), playing around with buttercream and fondant. But I couldn't spend much time baking as many IT projects started pouring in that year. So, the oven was left in a cold and lonely corner in my kitchen. Poor oven.

In early 2007 too I dreamed to become a published author. I started writing fiction and a few paid articles. I published the fiction in my blog. It was a short story. And that was it. I never had the time to write fiction soon after that because of my work load.

The only thing I managed to do consistently since then was writing. Well, actually only the blog writing part was consistent. The technical writing, fiction and paid articles only lasted for a few months.

So, the idea of becoming a WAHM was forgotten for a while.

Earlier this year, one of my new year resolutions was to start with my Masters programme in June/July timeframe. I started planning on how to adjust my work schedule and researching on the most suitable courses offered by nearby Unis. At one point, I was contemplating quitting work and focus 100% on doing the Masters Programme.

But Allah knows best. There were a few new challenges at work that I didn't even have time to enroll myself in any of the nearby Universities. The first quarter of 2011 was so busy that I didn't even took any time off during the school holidays.

Some time in April my body started to tell me that it was too much to take, my BP was high again after stabilizing for more than 3 years. It was so frustrating as I realized I've been neglecting my health again. I tried going to the gym and cooking at home more frequently but work became too demanding, sometimes I even had lunch in the car while driving to customer's place.

So, when I saw an announcement in Twitter requesting for manuscript submission, I started writing fiction again. It's a therapy, much better than shopping or going to spa. Writing fiction transformed me into another person and it brought me to another world, another dimension. It kept me occupied, but less stressed. I completed the proposal and my first 4 chapters in 6 days and submitted to the publisher.

To my surprise, the proposal was accepted and I continued with the rest of the manuscript.
Four weeks later I managed to complete the manuscript and submitted the first draft. And it was accepted!
Allah knows best and works in mysterious ways. My first novel will be launched on 17th September 2011.
A wish/dream started in early 2007 and will materialize on the 3rd quarter of 2011.

For all my readers who dare to dream, trust me, insyaallah you will succeed.

** more news on my first novel will be posted here after Raya.

Good news - we're hiring!

2011-07-22T18:04:00.000+08:00

Yeah, we're hiring. Again!

I have been interviewing System Engineers for the past 3 months, to fill up two vacancies we currently have in the team. Hiring is not an easy job, especially for these 2 posts. I think we've interviewed more than 10 candidates so far and only 2 are good enough.

The worse news is, these 2 engineers turned down our offer.

Argh.... I'm back at square one. Now I have to find more candidates. I really dread going through resumes and calling people for the first interview.

What was written in the papers a few days ago was so true. The younger generation (especially fresh graduates) are demanding for high salary and want jobs that suit their lifestyle. I've interviewed a few young engineers (who have about 2-3 years experience in the IT industry). They actually told me their likes and dislikes, dos and don'ts on their first interview. They didn't do any research on the positions offered and never visited our corporate website, instead they started dictating their expectations.

So, it's not a surprise to see the number of unemployed graduates grew each year. They'd rather stay at home, asking money from their ageing parents than start earning and building their lives.

It's true that Malaysians have been living rather lavishly in the past few decades. Our children, especially. They could always get what they wished for. Even those with struggling parents who are earning less than RM5K a month. I'm not blaming the parents but somehow, showering children with gifts, granting their every wish (especially more pocket money) is not really helping them develop into mature adults.

You can ask any teenager you find in the shopping mall, what's the value of RM1K? I bet majority of them would answer 'Not Much'. These kids are using smartphones worth more than RM2.5K. Their clothes are from brands you and I couldn't pronounce properly, and some of their shoes alone are twice the price of my 4 handbags combined.

So when these kids finish college and start hunting for jobs, they'll be looking for really high salary. Even without any experience they would still demand more than RM3K as a start. Most companies can't afford to hire unskilled worker with such basic pay. So, in the end, these kids remain unemployed, and I have to go through 30 more resumes to find the suitable candidates for these 2 vacancies. Pffffbbbtttt!

Have a great weekend, people!

Caca marba

2011-07-19T13:04:00.002+08:00

Well, that's the best description of my first half of 2011. There were so many things going on. So many things on my plate. So little time to really focus on each one. And I ended up feeling so tired. I need a long holiday, but now it's not the suitable time. In fact, I'm not taking any long holiday this year because of a few reasons.

So, I'll just take half day off now and then, depending on my schedule. Overlapping appointment is the thing I hate most. With all these calendering system, electronic meeting invitation etc, people still invited me blindly, didn't really bother to check for slot availability. When I reject their invitation, they feel offended.

I just don't get Malaysian time management. They can choose to arrive 45 late to appointments, but get offended when people reject their last minute meeting invitations. *Pbfftttttt!*

It was in the news yesterday that Malaysian women are at number 16 in the list of most depressed women in this whole world. Indian women are on top of the list, followed by our Mexican friends.

So, why are Malaysian women so depressed that we managed to beat Malaysian football team world ranking? If you are a woman like me, you'd know the answer. The stress we are experiencing are coming from all angles. There's no way we can escape, and the only choice left is to deal with them. If I escape, that would mean I'm a quitter. If I deal with them, they usually add more to the stress. If I ignore them, I'd be accused of being irresponsible. So, which one should I choose?

So far, the best option is still to deal with them - all of them.
Society's expectation of working mothers are just absurd. Most of the time, people just tend to forget that working mothers are human just like the rest.

But how often do we read in the news about stressed working moms in Malaysia who committed suicide? Any statistics available?

There was one case reported by Malaysian newspapers a few months ago, but it was claimed that the woman was mentally unstable. The daughter had to witness her mother committed suicide. Aaaah...another stress the daughter would have to live with for the rest of her life.

Sometimes, I wished I lived as a working mum in the 1970s. Or, I didn't even have to work, but stayed at home and had gossip sessions in the afternoons with my neighbours. I imagined, the kids will be at school in the morning, while I cooked, cleaned and had my morning tea breaks. In the afternoon they'd be at the religious school, while I watched soap opera on TV. But hey, there's no ASTRO back in the 70s. So, I'll be probably watching TV pendidikan while folding the clothes.

But that's just my imagination.

But sometimes, it helps to have all these imaginations. When I started reading Growing up in Trengganu, and Map of Trengganu, both books brought back old memories of the 1970s, living in a kampung and day time used to be so damn long. There are a few chapters from Map of Trengganu that I reread because I really enjoyed going back to those times (virtually - only in my mind).

What I'm trying to tell here is that, sometimes, if you really feel that you are troubled and can't escape from all these stress, just psych yourself with some good books and the next day, you're ready to face life again.

Sekian, terima kasih.

My Big Brother - Part 6

2011-07-11T17:24:00.002+08:00

1997 was the year when Malaysians and the rest of the world started experiencing the flattening of the world and the beginning of digital divide. Well, maybe Malaysia lagged by three years if you were to compare us with America, Canada and The UK, but we were quite advance then.

This year marked a few historical events in my life.

First, The Engineering Faculty computer lab was equipped with brand new SUN servers and SUN workstations and we're internet ready! The first thing I taught my male friends was how to access Playboy website. They became so excited that they started buying modems to be installed at home.

Secondly, I bought a PC using my own money. It was from my 6 months' savings. I was doing my industrial training in IBM and I saved some of the allowance each month. Since we didn't have Streamyx yet back then, we were using the house land line for dialing up to access internet. I used to have an internet account with Telekom back then.

Thirdly, with the flattening of the world, we managed to track down my big brother online. There was no Google or people search yet, but he was found by sheer coincidence.

Well, he used to have this close friend (whose sister was kind enough to let my mom and me sleep at her house when I registered at STF). This guy was working as a teacher (or was he a lab assistant?) at a school in Melaka. One day he was in the computer lab where all the students were busy learning computer related things including emails and chatting at MiRC. He made his round in the lab, from one desk/student to another. He noticed that one of the students was having a chat with a user id that rang a bell to him. It was a very familiar nickname that reminded him of his old friend.

He suspected that it was my big brother. That kind of name would only be used by people of his generation and my big brother was one of those who used that name a lot. Sorry, I couldn't remember what exactly the user id was, but it was not a Malay word. So, this guy became curious and started telling the student to ask a few simple questions.

The answers that came were surprisingly familiar. This guy knew immediately it was my big brother chatting on the other end. What he did next was to get the student to get an email id and telephone number that can be contacted and they received them, no question asked.
A few days later I got a call from my second brother instructing me to contact the number passed to him from Melaka. I made a call and my big brother was not surprised at all to hear my voice. Perhaps, he had suspected that someday he will be discovered and there's not many things he can do to continue hiding or running away. Our conversation was brief, as I didn't really know what to tell him. It seemed like he was well informed of what's going on in our kampung and in the family. Before he hung up, he gave me his email which was a hotmail account, and a few years later he changed to Yahoo!

That was the beginning of our virtual communication.

1997 was also the year that my first niece was born, and we lost our beloved grandmother only a few days later.

It was also in 1997 that I met my husband.

To be continued....

Dear Mark.....

2011-07-10T23:43:00.002+08:00

I think Mark Zuckerberg should find a way on how to determine that a Facebook account owner is still alive. Perhaps there should be another status (besides single, married, divorced etc) to indicate whether the person is still living and breathing or has deceased.

If he can't find a way to find it through his million lines of codes, then, why not provide a facility for the siblings or parents to apply for the status to be changed from Alive to Deceased?

One of my Facebook friends, passed away in early 2010, her FB account was set with high security and no one can write on the wall. Until today, the wall is still very much active because there are some of her friends who still tag her in photos and FB notes.

Yesterday (Saturday) was my late brother's birthday. I saw some of his FB friends wished him Happy Birthday and 'Selamat panjang umur, murah rezeki'. I believe these people knew him through the internet, and it's been awhile since they communicated. Luckily few of my relatives noticed the messages and later they posted on his wall to announce that he has passed away.

I was not feeling offended, but it's just sad to read people wishing your sibling 'Selamat Panjang Umur' when he has already left this world. As a Social Network user, I think we should also be more sensitive by checking the person's recent activities before wishing them Happy Birthday or even Happy Anniversary. You'll never know, some couple that might have divorced, maybe forgotten to change their Status or Anniversary Date in their profiles. So, sometimes, it's not that bad to keep updated with latest gossips.

Rumah bersih

2011-07-08T14:46:00.000+08:00

Now that my timeline has been flooded with people complaining about the government and opposition regarding this Bersih rally, I couldn't find anything more interesting than this topic.
Well, I fired my maid in early 2010, so I have been getting cleaning services from a Malay lady who was recommended by a friend. She's been coming to the house twice a month to do cleaning. I only paid her RM60 per visit. Her scope of work only covers cleaning. No laundry, no cooking, no gardening.
There were a few times, she brought her helpers to do the cleaning and every time I came home (she cleaned in the morning, while I was in the office) I'd be complaining. Her helpers are all Indonesian ladies who have other jobs such as working at restaurants, or part time maids. These ladies were so hopeless, they didn't even throw away the rubbish from the kitchen. A few of them have cleaned my house, and I was dissatisfied each time.
Since I complained too often, the Malay lady had no choice but to clean my house herself.
But now, she asked me to pay her on monthly basis and she'll come to clean four times a month. I said yes.
Ok, now back to that Bersih rally. Now why would you want to join this rally? Do you understand the whole motives behind it? Do you know what you are fighting for? Have you asked your parents whether they mind you getting involved (for those below 21, please get your parents' consent!). If you are below 21, why should you be so kepochi because you're not even eligible to vote yet.
And if you're above 21, go and get yourselves registered as voters and vote in the next PRU. I'm just so sick of reading the bullshit posted by people who doesn't understand a thing about it and never even bother to check what 'demokrasi berparlimen' is all about.

Membebel di pagi Isnin

2011-07-04T11:07:00.000+08:00

Pagi Isnin, aku datang ofis dengan hati berat, kepala lagi berat. Ramai orang benci Isnin, sama macam aku. Aku selalu doa supaya satu rombakan besar-besaran dibuat, dan kita semua mulakan minggu kerja cuma pada hari Selasa. Hari Khamis pula, sudah mula hujung minggu. Ini menjadikan Khamis, Jumaat, Sabtu, Ahad dan Isnin adalah hujung minggu. Kalau sekarang pun, kebanyakan pekerja cuma produktif pada hari Selasa dan Rabu. Hari Isnin, Khamis dan Jumaat dipenuhi mesyuarat panjang lebar, status itu status ini. Semata-mata untuk memberitahu bos-bos besar dan para pelanggan apa yang mereka perlu tahu. Hantar status melalui email tak cukup bagus. Masih perlu pergi mengadap, tunjuk muka dan duduk dua jam depan projektor.

Kenapa banyak tindakan lambat? Kerana banyak masa dihabiskan untuk siapkan laporan. Satu minggu, kurang-kurang ada 5 laporan. Bila masa nak fikir strategi dan nak ambil tindakan? Kenapa banyak organisasi (tak kiralah swasta atau kerajaan) yang tiada pembaharuan? Jawapannya ialah kerana pekerja-pekerja ramai yang dibebani laporan dan kerja-kerja pentadbiran.

Nasib yang sama juga menimpa para guru. Mengapa soalan peperiksaan semester di sekolah-sekolah, kualitinya dipersoalkan? Kerana ramai guru terpaksa buat sendiri dalam keadaan tertekan dan tiada penyelarasan. Guru-guru juga terjebak dengan kerja-kerja pentadbiran yang tidak begitu berkaitan dengan pelajaran dan pembelajaran.

Bebelan aku belum habis, tapi aku terpaksa berhenti dulu di sini kerana sudah dapat SMS yang minta aku menghadiri satu mesyuarat penting. Baru tadi juga aku tersedar ada 2 laporan yang aku haram belum sentuh.

Zarif is 21 months

2011-06-20T12:49:00.000+08:00

On 25th May, Zarif turned 21 months. Three more months and he'll be 2 years old. In terms of social skill, he seems sociable but takes quite some time to get familiar and feel comfortable with people. He's now more attached to his father, will always cry when he goes out without him.

At Aniq's wedding on 11th June 2011

Among his favorite food now are roti canai, nasi himpit, nasi with ayam goreng, choco bun and keropok lekor. He now eats using his own hands, he refused to be spoon fed most of the times. He's getting more and more independent and only calls me when he needs milk.

Zarif was avoiding people from getting near him.

His vocabulary is also growing at an impressive rate. He can now understand complex instructions like, go to the kitchen, take drinks from the fridge and then give it to ayah. Among his favorite words are kedai, tutup, jatuh, sakit and rumah. He also likes to repeat words he hear from the TV and radio. Wazif now likes to play my Bruno Mars CD and a few nights ago, I heard Zarif repeating the words from 'Marry You' especially the last words from the sentences.

Watching YouTube on iPad and he requires no assistance

His obsessions now are cars, trucks, lorries and buses. He can watch videos of trucks and buses on YouTube for hours. In a way, the iPad and internet TV are now conquered by him most of the time. He's also been fighting with his two brothers more often. Last week, he was fighting with Wazif and Wazif ended up crying.

So, two more years and he'll start kindergarten? *Sigh*

Scary movies

2011-06-19T13:25:00.000+08:00

On this peaceful Sunday afternoon, I just wanna tell all Malaysian movie producers to stop making scary movies. They're just so the 90s. It's 2011, please make movies with better qualities and focus on making Malaysian movies that really represent the country. What do foreign people get whenever they watch Malaysian movies, I wonder. I never went to watch any of the ghost/scary movies in the cinema. They're just degrading the minds.
I pity the script writers who had to come up with ideas for ghost stories. How many ghosts can you create? How scary can the scenes be? Don't they feel that in a way, it's rather irresponsible to the society? Do you want our younger generation to feel that the country is filled with ghosts? Do you realize that young children now have started to fear ghosts more than God?
I am still hoping to watch good Malaysian movies. It's been a while since I saw Malaysian movies that were both enjoyable and left a feeling deep inside me long after I left the cinema seat. Perhaps our movie producers listen to the market too much, focusing only on making films of the famous genre. What happened to making art? Real art?
CGI can be considered as a tool to enhance art, but too much CGI can be just as disgusting as putting on too much make up on an old whore's face. A successful CGI application in a movie won't make a great movie - there's still the acting part that the audience and critics want to enjoy. I have nothing against CGI; it should be applied in more movies - to compliment the acting and the storyline - not to monopoly the whole movie. Produce an animation if you are too in love with CGI, will you?

Wordless Thursday - HACKED!!

2011-06-16T11:59:00.000+08:00

Pic ciloked from NizamBakeri's tweet. Hehe.

Berjaya membaca Novel Melayu

2011-06-07T01:17:00.000+08:00

Well, I haven't really read or finished any Malay novel since Cincin Permata Biru by Mior Shariman back in 1996. It's a 492 pages book filled with witty words and brilliant storyline that kept me awake for a few nights. I was still studying and stayed in a rented apartment back then with 5 other girls. The book was borrowed by my flatmate from her friend. We took turns to read. For those who had finished reading it, they're not allowed to discuss about it to avoid spoilers. It was good, but when I tried to read other Malay novels after that I stopped and lost interest half way.

I didn't want to stereotype Malay Novels but everytime I read those I borrowed from my friends the stories were all very disappointing because each one just repeated the same story but with different characters and backdrop. At one point, I could guess the whole story just by reading the synopsis at the back. And they're all about love-unrequited, revenge, betrayal, perfect men (which we know they don't exist), unhappy marriages while the main characters were mostly women. Since most of the writers were women, it's only natural to have a female protagonists, no?

Between 1996 - 2000 I used the LRT almost on a weekly basis and couldn't help but noticed how popular those books were. Well, most of the commuters who read were females. The guys would either be sleeping or pretending not to see the old lady or pregnant women standing near their seats. I managed to finish a few thick novels in the LRT but none of them were Malay love stories.

The four book racks I had at home were filled with English fictions. Whenever I ran out of space, I'd gave some of the books to friends, sold some and lost some. But you just don't find any Malay title on my shelves.
Everytime I went to MPH or Popular I would make a long stop at the Malay Novel aisles but none of the synopsis managed to convince me to part with my RM20 or 30 (Yes, Malay Novels are that cheap.)

Until two months ago, I have actually given up on Malay Novels. Then I saw Amir Muhammad's announcement on Twitter about the FIXI books. A few decades ago, they can be categorized as Novel Picisan but hey, the most read newspaper in this country happens to be Harian Metro anyway.

So, I went to KL International Book Fair and bought 3 FIXI books and read them all within a week. The books are not suitable for my kids, so I had to put them on the top shelf. Wazif was asking about them and I told him that he can read the books once he's 18 years old. He asked why, so I told him 'Ini cerita orang besar-besar.' Yeah, don't expect to read about gadis ayu, pemalu, bertudung litup menyimpan perasaan terhadap boss nya yang tidak berperibadi mulia tetapi kaya raya dan sungguh misteri yang kemudiannya berubah personaliti lantas menyedari cinta gadis pemalu itu lalu mengambilnya sebagai isteri.

I enjoyed all the books and bought the 4th title last week. I don't intend to put any spoiler here so I won't write any review. I'm just going to say that after 15 years, these books made me read Malay Novels again.

Your IT infrastructure - Small and medium business Web Hosting

2011-06-04T16:55:00.003+08:00

This is an IT related post, but it's relevant and beneficial for those who are looking for web hosting services.

After years of doing IT Infrastructure projects, some of the biggest challenges and pain points faced by my customers are hardware acquisition and building a team of competent IT engineers to manage the infrastructure. Requesting for new computer hardware alone might take as long as 6 months for approval. Just imagine a department or division that are planning to roll out a very important application but have to wait for almost a year before it can be provisioned and used by their end users. By the time the system stabilizes, some of the software components might need some upgrades.

When the infrastructure is successfully provisioned, then comes the operational headaches. For a simple secured web based application, it takes at least 5 components or software products to be managed by an organization. This alone might take 3 competent System Administrators to maintain. If a few more applications are deployed, and on different sets of software technology, the same people will need to be multiskilled and perform multitasks in their day to day job. This eventually caused inefficiency and lead to knowledge workers' frustration. They end up looking for jobs elsewhere.

There were times when I'd advice my friends or acquaintances to opt for web hosting that are secure, reliable and able to meet their service levels. If I were in their shoes, I'd rather keep a few really good engineers who can focus on their special areas while leaving the infrastructure headaches to another party who can provide the hardware and skillful people. This managed hosting is getting popular now as many more organizations realize the value and have increased confidence level. Some companies opt for managed services to reduce software licensing headaches as they're getting more complex with the advancement of hardware technology such as virtualization.

For organizations that own IT infrastructure also have the choice to operate with less headaches by doing colocation where they can enjoy having more secured network and their servers are placed in a better data center.

In my day to day job, I don't only sell hardware and services. At times, I do share informations like this with my customers especially the options available today for them to maximise their IT investment.

My big brother - Part 5

2011-06-01T15:18:00.000+08:00

I thought there's going to be only three installments of this but oh boy, I was wrong. Perhaps it's better to have shorter entries, but we're going to have many. Anyway, thank you for your patience. It's not easy traveling back in time virtually to capture our emotions back then and the chronology of events, but I try.

What I could gather from my mom after that first telephone call was that my late brother and his friend had a fishing boat and he earned his living from the sea. I could never imagine him as a fisherman although we've rode in motorboats together a few times during flood season or in the Triang river. Our relative who stayed in Labuan at that time also claimed that my brother looked a bit thinner and a lot darker. She also told us that during fasting month my brother went for tarawikh at the nearby mosque quite often and visited her and her family a few times. After this relative left Labuan and my late brother stopped calling home, we didn't hear about him for a while. So, we didn't know what he did next. Did he stay living as a fisherman or tried other things.

Although we couldn't trace him, once in a while and usually on Raya Eve he would call my mom. Just to ask how we were doing. Then my mom would ask his whereabouts and if he's coming home. He always told her he'd come back when he's ready. But for the mean time he still had work to do.

Between 1990 and 1995 there were a few communications with him. Sometimes he called, sometimes he gave us a number that we could call but usually those numbers became invalid after a month or two. We suspected he was still on the move.

In 1995 my mom told me over the phone that a lady from Sabah called her to tell that he was my late brother's wife. My mom was confused and didn't understand her intentions. The lady talked to my late father. She told him that they were married but my brother left her when she was pregnant. She had a miscarriage soon after that. My late father was so worried and upset. It was not easy for him to accept that his eldest son left home in 1988, then suddenly there was this lady claiming that his son neglected his wife. My late father's health started to deteriorate that year.

Not long after the phone call, my mom spoke to my late brother and demanded to know the truth. He told her that it's true that they were married but only for a while. He divorced her because she was using false documents. It turned out the lady was from The Philippines and entered Sabah illegally. My brother felt deceived because she told him that she's a Malaysian and to avoid any problem with the authority, he decided to divorce her.

Later that year, my late father had his first major heart attack and he was in the ICU for about two weeks. I was sitting for my exams then. My father passed away in 1996, 11 months after the attack. I watched him breathed his last breath. My mom, my second and fourth brother were also there by his side during his final moments. My third brother was 10 minutes too late. He was driving as fast as he could from his house in Felda Rentam but when he arrived, my father was gone.

There was a huge crowd at our house that day. Friends, families, acquaintances and neighbors came to pay their last respect. At least half of them asked whether we've informed my eldest brother about the news. It just so happened that it was the period when we lost contact with him. We just told them that we'd inform him whenever he called.

So, my late brother was the last to know about my father's death. When he learned about it, he didn't say anything other than 'Innalillah..' He knew he'll never get to see his father again. His silence didn't tell us anything but I thought he might be staring at empty spaces for a long time after that. During one of our phone conversations later he asked me to post some of his old pictures with some of his friends. I took a few from his old photo albums and I slipped in another photo in the envelope. It was a picture of late father taken in 1993 carrying one of my nephews. I prayed that when he saw that photo, it would remind him about a few things he's been missing in his life.

.... to be continued (lagi..!)...

My Big Brother - Part 4

2011-05-24T18:22:00.000+08:00

I don't remember much of what happened in the rest of 1988. It was such a blur now, maybe because I chose to just delete some of the bad memories I had. In the few months that followed the disappearance of my late brother, we had to answer to the same questions over and over again, 'Dah jumpa Zul?', 'Mana peginya Zul?', 'Apa salahnya sampai dia lari?', 'Dia merajuk ke?', 'Dia frust bercinta ke?','Zul takde talipon?'. For me it was so frustrating because we couldn't answer any of those. The standard reply given by my parents was, 'Entohlah, dengor ceritanya dah nyeberang laut. Kome doakan dia selamat ajelah.'

It took sometime for my family to investigate the real reason why he disappeared. The nearest answer we got was he was probably in trouble due to one of his hobbies - which involved spending a lot of money. A few weeks after we realized he had gone missing a few people came forward to inform my father that my eldest brother owed them some money. So, my father went to ask further to find out how many people and how much money he owed. The total debt was actually not that much - well let's just say it was not something that we couldn't afford to pay and my father did pay-off all of them. For me, it still didn't make sense for him to leave everything and everyone he loved and disappear just because of some debt issue.

We couldn't investigate and probe further as there were no sufficient evidence. Although my late brother was a warm and friendly person, he's also good at keeping his private things from people. At the time of his disappearance we had no idea how much money he had or whether he had them stashed away in some bank accounts unknown to us.

Sometimes, after dinner we would sit down in my mom's room to chit chat and we'd always discuss about him. We kept on guessing where he's gone. Once I told my father that I thought he might have flown or sailed to The US. If I were him, with all that talent, skills and brain, I would have gone to a place far away; a developed country that offered mountains of opportunities. My father didn't really agree.

As for my mom, she was still hoping that my brother hadn't gone that far away. My mom visited me in JB quite often; she took the night train and arrived at my hostel at around 6a.m and then went back late in the afternoon to catch the night train to East Coast. She also went to Singapore during one of the visits. Years later she admitted that everytime she was roaming in JB she hoped to bump into my eldest brother. Well that explained why she always left my hostel at 5pm when her train only arrived at 9pm.

So, 1988 had been a dark year and it was not something we want to relive. The following year my second brother decided to get married and the family was happy again, not the same, but I consider those were quite happy moments. To have additional family member, and later a baby boy joined us in 1990, followed by another sister in law when my third brother got married on the same year. We still discussed about my eldest brother from time to time but we have stopped guessing or cracking our heads to come up with theories on why he left.

Then, not long after my first nephew was born, my eldest brother called home. He was in Labuan. Not The US, but Labuan. So, Tokki Jelani was right, he did cross the ocean. I can't really remember what made him changed his mind and contact us but I think one of our relatives who was then staying in Labuan bumped into him. Maybe she managed to influence him a bit. I was not at home when he called. My mom told me about it during one of her visits. Although he called home to tell us that he was alive and well, we still didn't know the real reason why he left. We lost contact soon after because he decided to disappear again. We didn't have his number or his address and his IC was still using our kampung address. So, we couldn't trace him back then, not in the year 1990.

..... to be continued....

My Big Brother - Part 3

2011-05-23T11:27:00.002+08:00

My late brother, Zulkiflie Sulaiman was our source for entertainment back in the 70s and 80s. I still remember the cassettes and cartridges he bought and we had battery powered players. There was no electricity supply in our kampung back in the 70s and early 80s. So when I was about 4 or 5 years old, we'd sat together in my brother's room and listened to the songs. My favorites then were Boney M, Latiff Ibrahim, ABBA and a few compilation albums which I couldn't remember the titles but some of the songs were Sunny, Designer Music, Ring My Bell, Get Down On It, That's The Way (I like it) from singers never heard by today's teenagers.

When I was in Standard 2 (1982) my late brother brought home a borrowed VCR player and rented a few video tapes. That weekend we watched a very interesting Malay movie: MEKANIK. We had been watching too many black and white P Ramlee movies on TV1 and TV2 that when we first saw MEKANIKwe thought it was very refreshing and exciting. When I watched that movie again on YouTube recently, I realized that some of the scenes would have been snipped by Censor Board if it were to be screened today. There's one scene where Teh Faridah was looking so sexy in the rain wearing a wet white shirt and a Hindi song was played. My mom heard it and said, 'Eh, lagu Bobby.' My brother and I were so young and had never heard of the movie Bobby then, so we asked many questions to my mom. The next weekend my late brother rented Bobby and we watched it 7 times.

My late brother was born a people person. He just loved making people happy, being around many people and interacting. Every Ramadhan, he would be our master stirrer when it was making dodol time. My late grandma or my mom would be the mastermind, measuring the flour, sugar and coconut milk but my late brother would be the one to slave himself near the hot kawah, stirring and stirring until the dodol was ready. He'd do the same when it was making lemang day. He'd patiently wait near the fire and when my late grandma told him it's time to turn or stomp the bamboo, he'd do it one by one. He just enjoyed doing those things while chit chatting with my late grandma to get more tips and listened to some of her pre-Japanese occupancy stories.

I have to say that my late brother really enjoyed everything he did, he's always spending his quality time with the family and cared for us a lot. He's the eldest, so it's not a surprise.

The only surprise I got was in 1988 when I came home for a short school break. I didn't take the train because on of my juniors was going back to Temerloh in her dad's car. I made a thick face to tumpang her. It was a smooth journey and I was so happy I didn't have to stand for 8 hours in the MEL train. But when I reached home, my late father broke the sad news. My eldest brother ran away from home.

I couldn't think or react when I listened to my late father telling me how my brother left home one night, saying he's going to KL (he traveled to KL quite frequently, so it was not something that would make my mom suspicious ). Then, after a few days he didn't come back. He didn't go to work. He didn't apply for any leave. He was not contactable (those days belum ada handphone ye...) and none of his good friends knew his whereabout or what was he planned when he left for KL.

My family, especially my parents were worried sick. We couldn't figure out why he left so suddenly. My late father was having a very hard time then. He couldn't think of a single thing that he has done that might have offended my late brother, that could've make him decided to run away. Nobody knew if my late brother was having any problem either work related or personal. People from his office didn't notice anything weird about him, so did my family members. He just acted normal before he decided to leave.

My parents did what people would normally do ina missing person's case. They contacted the authority and the search started. Ports, airports and Department of Immigration confirmed that there was no record of my late brother leaving the country. Then my parents went to see a very old Indonesian man whom we knew had extra strong 6th sense - his name was Tokki Jelani. Tokki Jelani told my parents not to worry because my eldest brother was still alive then but he had crossed the ocean.

Tokki Jelani didn't tell whether it was Hindi Ocean, South China Sea, or Atlantic Ocean but we knew that by then my eldest brother had left us to be somewhere else. We're not sure whether he was running away from someone or something but deep inside we all knew that he would never come back to our kampung.

.....to be continued....

My big brother - Part 2

2011-05-18T23:26:00.001+08:00

My late brother, Zulkiflie Sulaiman stood at almost 6 foot tall, had always been overweight for as long as I could remember and he never complained about the food our mom prepared. His appetite was always good, if anyone was having eating disorder, they could just sit and watch him ate, and they'd feel hungry immediately. He was one of the people in this world who really appreciated food. When our mom cooked chicken, he'd even chew the bones. If you served him fish, there'd be just cleaned bones left for the cats.

The last memorable meal I had with him was in KK. My family went there for a short vacation and he treated us at one of the famous seafood places. We had fried garoupa, buttered prawn and a very special rice, I think it was called garlic rice. He was telling us about Sabah food and how different they were than the food in Pahang.

When I was in primary school there were two famous Zuls in the kampung. One was Zul Tompel and the other one was my late brother, people nicknamed him Zul Gemuk. If strangers met me on the bus or in town and asked my name, I'd just told them I was Zul Gemuk's little sister. Then they'd say 'Aaaaah, koi kenal abang awok...' and they'd share at least one of the things that they remembered most about him: some silly incident or some of his funny remarks.

My brother made many friends and they all had great memories of him. Many of the older Makciks and Uwans in the kampung were very fond of him because of his warm personality. I noticed he'd usually greet the older Uwans with 'Amboi, lawo betul wan kita hari ni yek. Nok kone melawo ngat ni?'

I remember when I received the offer from KPM to study in STF JB, my parents were so worried because we had no relative and didn't know a single soul in JB. Luckily, my late brother had a friend who happened to have a sister living in JB. So, one night, two days before registering myself at STF, my late brother drove me and my mom to the train station in Triang for the night KTM MEL train to JB. His friend's sister greeted us in JB and brought us to her house. She also brought us shopping for my school needs somewhere in Tampoi.

About a month later I decided to go home during the CNY break. When I booked the ticket, Kak Normah (the garang sick bay lady ) told me that the train won't stop at Triang because it was such a small station and she had never even heard of the town name. I was so stupid to believe her so I bought the ticket to Mentakab. We didn't have a telephone at home then, I could only contact my late brother at his office. So, the afternoon before my train back I told him that I was not sure which station I could go off. He told me he'd wait for me at Bahau station at around 4a.m.

That night, once the MEL train reached Bahau, I looked for him through the window but he was not there. It was a short stop, so after about 2 minutes the train started to leave the station and that's when I saw him with a few of his friends waving at me. I couldn't go off there and then because the coach was too crowded and the train had started moving. I saw them running towards his car.

When the train reached Triang station I quickly looked around and suddenly I heard him screaming my name. I hurried to the coach door where there were people sitting and standing half asleep. The train was about to leave so I jumped onto the platform and ran towards my late brother. On our short journey home he was telling me how fast he drove from Bahau to Triang to make sure they didn't miss me again. He was almost breathless when we reached home. Now everytime I watched The Amazing Race, I'm always reminded of that night. That was like the sweetest thing someone had done to me (chasing a train with a car - macam cerita Hindustan pun ada.)

... to be continued....

My big brother - Part 1

2011-05-11T15:32:00.000+08:00

I know some people Googled for my late brother, Zulkiflie Sulaiman and was directed to this blog. As promised, I will try to share with you some of my earliest memories of him.

When I was in primary school sometimes he helped me with my homework, usually the English subject. Since he was from English education background, he liked to challenge me with grammar questions. For instance, on his way to the bathroom he would ask me, 'Have you a) see b) saw c) seen the newspaper?' And being a primary one student, I would crack my head to guess the answer. He would give the correct answer and asked again, 'Cikgu dah ajar ke belum tu?' Well, usually he asked advanced grammar questions, things that I hadn't learned in classroom. So, his pop quizzes somehow helped me a lot to do my own research. We live in a kampung, no one spoke English. My only source was TV and my family. When I was in Standard three, my English teacher challenged me to answer the Penilaian Darjah 5 English paper and I scored an A! I remember telling it to my late brother and late father. My late father looked proud, but later he asked me, 'Kenapa tak dapat 100?' Hehe...

It was also the two of them who bought me my first typewriter in 1985 when I did well in Penilaian Darjah 5. I suspected it was my late brother's idea to get the typewriter. I would have asked for a BMX instead. So, my late father taught me to type, and once I completed the month long 'course', my late brother gave me a few assignments. He brought home a few sample letters from the office and told me to type them - complete with 2 carbon copies! There were a few mistakes, and he told me to re-type - no blanco allowed. It turned out those were real letters he was going to use. That was the moment I realized I would never ever want to become a secretary when I grew up.

My late brother used to work in a bank in our hometown. I was not sure of his position but I heard he had to handle computer related works. When I was in Standard 4 (1984) he brought home a weird looking equipment, a weird looking keypad (which keys arrangement were similar to a typewriter's) and a thick photocopied book entitled BASIC programming. He connected the weird looking equipment to our TV set and we got a different screen! First I thought it was a video player, then he told me it's a computer. I remember the first BASIC program I tried from the book, the QWERTYUIOP keys produced music! The weird looking keypad became a keyboard (well, two years later I learned that IT WAS called a keyboard).

When people asked about my late brother, all I could remember was the fun things he did. He had many friends and well known in Temerloh, Kuantan, Jerantut, Triang, Bera, Kemayan and all the nearby Gugusan Felda. He's always been described as the fun, warm, helpful, bright, passionate but sensitive guy. Yes, he was a bit sensitive. My late father told me that if he scolded him, my late brother would sulk for days and refused to talk. However, my late brother didn't get angry easily, he didn't like confrontation, involve in fights or argue with people. His greatest gift was he could mix with people from all walks of life, young and old, beyond race and religion.

Talking about fights, I remember when I was in Standard 6 (1986) our nearby kampung was flooded. When there's flood, many people would come out to join the 'flood fiesta'. It so happened that a group of youngsters from one kampung was having verbal fight with the boys from our kampung. One night, there was a big fight. The boys from both group met somewhere and brought a few dangerous weapons along.

My late brother came back early that night. He rushed to tell my mom what had happened and how my 2nd and 3rd brother were punching and hitting the other boys. He told us all the details. So, my mom asked him, 'Diorang ni bergaduh, awok bergaduh jugek ke?' And then he answered (whenever he spoke to our parents, he would call himself Li), 'Li tak bertumbuk, Li nyuruk belakang kereta nengok diorang. Li ada pegang pengayuh perahu. Kalau ada orang datang kat Li, Li cadang nak lebas dengan pengayuh tu jek.' My mom couldn't help but laugh. She knew my late brother wouldn't ever got involved in fights. Later that night, my other 2 brothers came home with swollen knuckles and some other bruises.

They got some well deserved lecture from my parents for getting into that stupid fight but a few years later, the only thing we remembered was 'Li nyuruk belakang kereta sambil pegang pengayuh perahu'.

Death in the family

2011-05-05T14:17:00.000+08:00

It was Labour Day and I was at my mom's house in Bera, Pahang. Although Monday was also a holiday, we decided to go back to KL on Sunday to do laundry and grocery shopping. We planned to start the journey at around 3, in order to catch Liverpool game at 7. But the kids were still playing outside the house, refused to come in and change their clothes. Then my SIL made some fried kway teow for her friends who were coming over. Then when the friends came, my hubby decided to join them for kway teow hi-tea. It was almost 4pm when everybody was finally ready to go back to KL. All our bags were lined up in front of the main door and hubby started carrying some of the wet towels into the car. Then I felt like going to the toilet, so I went.

I was inside the toilet when my SIL received a phone call. She was shouting my name, I thought it was my friend. Then I heard she passed the phone to my brother and I heard him speaking in English. Suddenly, it felt weird. Which of my friend couldn't speak BM? A few minutes later, I emerged from the toilet and my SIL broke the sad news. My eldest brother who lived in Kota Kinabalu had passed on. I didn't know how to react or what to feel at that moment. My mom and I were discussing about him the night before. I was asking my mom whether my eldest brother will be back for my nephew's wedding next month. We were hoping that he'll be able to get flight tickets and join us for the khenduri.

Allahyarham Zulkiflie Sulaiman
9/7/1957-1/5/2011

All of us sat in silence for a few minutes then started discussing on how to make the necessary arrangements. My brothers started calling their friends, tried to find who could be contacted in KK and who else might be able to help. We never faced this kind of situation. We've dealt with deaths of immediate family members before, but both of them (my late father and grandma) were not across the ocean. The next few hours everybody was calling everybody. Decisions must be made fast. We had to wait for my third brother who was in Jerantut when we managed to contact him. It was already quarter past 6 when everyone of us was finally at my mom's house and we got everything finalized. Two of my brothers were flying to KK that night, the rest would stay at home to make preparations just in case the body could be flown back.

My hubby drove us to KLIA. It was raining cats and dogs from Bera to Nilai. Thank god Zarif and Shawqi were sound asleep throughout the nervewrecking 2.5 hours drive. When we reached Nilai, it was a quarter past 9pm. The last MAS flight to KK was at 10.10pm. When we entered MAS ticketing office, it was already 9.40pm. I insisted for two tickets although the check-in counter was closing. Luckily the ticket girl understood our urgency. We got two tickets and almost ran to Departure level.

My brothers were just in time for the flight. We went back, had dinner and I checked my late brother's FB page. Many of his friends wrote their good bye notes. There was an announcement by UMNO Bahagian Sipanggar on the arrangements made for burial on the next day. Alhamdulillah, everything has been taken care of. I'm sure my late brother had many close friends in KK. They've been like his family since he stayed there.

One of the last pictures of my late brother (i downloaded this from his FB)

My late brother in his Temerloh United t-shirt

My late brother's body was brought to Masjid Kg Likas from Queen Elizabeth Hospital on Monday afternoon and he was buried in Tanah Perkuburan Islam Kg Likas. My two brothers stayed for another day in KK to file the death report at JPN. They came back on Tuesday night. When we went to fetch them at the airport, I saw a big luggage and a smaller bag they brought from KK. Those must be my late brother's belongings. We went through some of his documents that night. My 4th brother showed me the death certificate and I think that was the moment when I suddenly felt really sad. We are so used to seeing birth certificates of newborns, and felt so excited about it. But when I saw the death cert, that was when reality really sunk in. My eldest brother was gone from this world and he's not coming back. I saw his clothes in the bag and I wept.

.......to be continued. I think the younger generation of our family and his friends deserve to know more about him. Let me compile a few things first and publish a few entries dedicated to my late brother some time next week.

Satu malam di pasar malam

2011-04-27T13:21:00.001+08:00

Seperti yang selalu aku tulis di status Facebook, setiap Selasa malam pasti aku akan Hooray! Hooray! nak pegi pasar malam. Sama lah seperti malam semalam. Setelah hujan reda, kami sekeluarga pun berbondong-bondong ke pasar malam Bandar Kinrara untuk membeli makan malam, kerepek dan barang dapur. Walaupun rumah dekat dengan Giant tapi aku lebih suka membeli barang dapur di pasar malam. Mungkin kerana teriak-teriak ramah peniaga yang berwajah ceria, tidak seperti jurujual pasaraya yang mengharap gaji bulan-bulan dan selalu tak ambil kisah pun untuk bersedekah senyum pada pelanggan.

Jadi, semalam setelah membeli makanan kegemaran setiap ahli keluarga; murtabak untuk Wazif, jagung untuk Shawqi, kek batik untuk Shawqi, keropok untuk Shawqi, kuay teow untuk Atuk, nasik lemak untuk Nenek dan serunding untuk aku dan suami, kami pun singgah di gerai kerepek 4 Sepuluh Ringgit atas permintaan Shawqi (Shawqi lagi!).

Ketika aku, Wazif dan Shawqi sedang memilih kerepek yang berkenan di hati aku lihat suamiku tertunduk-tunduk mengutip sesuatu dari atas jalan, kelihatan seperti wang kertas. Sekilas pandang kulihat seperti not seringgit. Apabila suamiku mengunjukkannya ke arahku, kulihat sebenarnya ada satu not 50 dan sehelai not 10 yang dilipat bersama. Akupun terkejut dan berkata, 'Banyak tu! Siapa yang tercicir ni? Takkan tak perasan...'

Suamiku bertanya apa yang patut dilakukan. Aku cadangkan untuk tunggu sebentar, mungkin tuannya akan datang mencari sebentar lagi. Shawqi yang lurus bendul pula mencelah, 'Ayah jumpa kat mana tadi? Letaklah balik kat situ.' Suamiku tertawa geli hati. 'Kalau ayah letak balik, nanti ada orang lain pulak curi,' katanya kepada Shawqi yang kurang mengerti.

Setelah berbincang, kami sepakat untuk menerangkan situasi dan mengamanahkan wang 60 ringgit itu kepada penjaja di gerai kerepek 4 Sepuluh Ringgit yang kebetulan berada hanya kira-kira 3 meter dari tempat duit tersebut ditemui. Suamiku menghampiri penjaja itu untuk membayar kerepek pilihan kami dan bercerita tentang wang yang tercicir itu.

Sambil itu, aku perhati keliling kalau-kalau ternampak insan malang tuan empunya wang. Aku tidak dapat mengagak bagaimana rupanya. Mungkin tua, mungkin muda, mungkin fakir, mungkin kaya. Secara rambang, aku perhati satu-satu pengunjung pasar malam sambil menolak kereta sorong Zarif perlahan-lahan.

Selang beberapa langkah, aku terdengar sepasang suami isteri bertengkar dengan suara yang tenggelam timbul di sebalik keriuhan suasana pasar malam. Aku menghampiri mereka. Sang suami sedang mengelek anak kecilnya yang sebaya Zarif di tangan kiri dan menjinjing barang-barang di tangan kanan. Sang isteri juga sarat menjinjing barang-barang dapur di kedua-dua belah tangan. Wajah sang isteri sugul sambil matanya meliar melihat keliling.

Ditinjaunya gerai buah, gerai sayur dan gerai ikan. Kemudian aku lihat dia terbongkok-bongkok melihat jalan tar di sudut-sudut yang tidak disimbah cahaya lampu penjaja. Aku langsung syak, itulah empunya wang 60 ringgit tadi. Aku memanggilnya, 'Dik! Dik!' Tetapi kerana jarak antara aku dengannya melebihi 5 meter, dan mungkin tiada siapa yang sudi menoleh kalau mendengar laungik 'Dik!' akupun berlari-lari anak mendekati lalu mencuit bahunya.

'Adik ada hilang duit ke?' aku terus mengajukan pertanyaan wajib itu. Wajah sugul sang isteri berubah menjadi cerah.

'Betul, betul Kak. Suami saya ni lah tadi,' dia menunjuk ke arah suaminya. Aku tak berminat untuk ambil tahu apa masalah dia dengan suaminya, lantas aku bertanya soalan wajib kedua.

'Berapa hilang?' sang isteri menggaru-garu dagunya, sang suami buat muka seperti sedang mencongak-congak sesuatu.

'Lima puluh kak, eh bukan... enam puluh lah sebenarnya. Tadi ada satu duit sepuluh ringgit jugak,' sang isteri memberitahu dengan penuh yakin.

Aku bukan detektif yang arif membaca riak muka dan bahasa badan tapi dari saiz anak matanya, aku yakin dia berkata benar.

'Duit tu ada kat suami saya, dia kat situ,' aku menunjuk ke arah suamiku yang masih berbual dengan penjaja di gerai kerepek 4 Sepuluh Ringgit. Wazif dan Shawqi ketiak itu terlompat terkinja di sebelah suamiku mungkin tidak sabar untuk pulang dan menikmati makan malam.

'Adik ni yang tercicir duit tu,' aku menghampiri suamiku lantas memberitahu.

Suamiku tidak berlengah, lalu menyerahkan duit 60 ringgit kepada sang isteri. Dia mengucapkan terima kasih tidak putus-putus dan berkata,

'Itulah, suami saya ni lah tadi....' sebelum sempat dia menghabiskan ayatnya, suami dan aku meminta diri untuk pulang dahulu. Sungguh, kami tidak berminat untuk mendengar masalah dia dengan suaminya. Kami tinggalkan pasangan itu di gerai kerepek 4 Sepuluh Ringgit dan mereka pun berbual dengan si penjaja.

Wordless Thursday (I nak jersey gergasi ni...boleh?)

2011-04-21T18:08:00.000+08:00

Picture taken from LiverpoolFC.tv

Wordy Wednesday - I'm not taking my meds starting today because I can't stand the side effects

2011-04-20T11:46:00.000+08:00

I was complaining to my hubby about the side effects I'm getting after I started taking my hypertension meds. He asked whether I'm pregnant. Huh? I told him No. I'm so sure I'm not pregnant and even if I am, I won't have those symptoms. All my pregnancies were rather smooth - no vomiting, no mood swings, no weird cravings etc.

Starting today I decided not to take the hypertension meds.

Furthermore, I'll be doing project deployments this week - less meeting room sessions. So, by right the pressure will be less. I got this feeling that my blood pressure is higher because of the long meetings. I can only focus for 20 minutes. If I had to endure a 3 hour meeting, I'll be in a very depressing state because I have to force myself to focus and look interested in the discussions (that are usually long winding and off topic). So, doing project deployment activities bring calmness to me. It's hectic, but I'll get to stay focused and motivated. Long, boring, unproductive meetings can kill people - trust me.

Training for a cross-country run?

2011-04-19T10:09:00.001+08:00

Maybe it's not the hypertension meds, maybe what I need is just a good one hour of sport massage....

Training for a cross-country run? Get a full body sport massage to relax ur muscles at #EqualFitness . Check #MilkADeal

Side effects

2011-04-19T10:04:00.000+08:00

I have been taking the hypertension meds for about 3 weeks now. The doctor told me that there shouldn't be any side effects but I notice that my body is reacting to it. Two days after took the meds, I started getting leg cramps in the morning just like what I experienced when I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy. Besides that, I always feel light headed, having nausea and sometimes when I stand up too abruptly from a sitting down position, I lose my balance.

I also have problem focusing whenever I'm behind the wheels. Usually I'm quite alert when I'm on the road but under the influence of this meds, I become quite careless and sometimes drive too slowly. Other drivers honked at me a few times, I believe it was because I forgot to give indication before turning at a junction.
My mood swing also worsens. I don't get agitated (as how I usually did) but I'm never in good mood. Everything feels so bland. No excitement. Everyone I meet fails to bring out any joy. I'm usually the jovial type but now I feel like a boring old woman with nothing thrilling happening in my life.

I'm going to see another doctor this weekend, for a third opinion and to get him to confirm whether I really need the hypertension meds. Last year, another doctor told me that I didn't need them yet.

Wordless Friday Part III (because I have many interesting photos I want you to see)

2011-04-15T17:18:00.000+08:00

Wordless Friday Part II (because on Fridays I have so much love to share)

2011-04-15T15:20:00.002+08:00

Wordless Friday (because on Wednesdays I usually have so many things to say)

2011-04-15T14:25:00.000+08:00

Let's talk about career

2011-04-13T15:16:00.000+08:00

A career won’t really promise you big houses, luxury cars, expensive holidays and endless partying. A career cannot guarantee you’ll have a happy live, reliable good friends and faithful spouses. For people like me, my career helps me pay my monthly bills and satisfy my shopping desire; then a certain amount would go to my investment portfolios and savings accounts.

Do I love my career? Well, let’s just say that I’m in this love hate relationship with it. There are things I really love doing and they’re giving me job satisfaction. There are also things that I really hate to deal with but I still have to do it in order to meet my employer’s and customer’s expectations.

One thing missing from my career is that it’s not giving me personal satisfaction. Professionally, I’ve met a certain number of targets I set 13 years ago. Personally, there are many things that I found them hard to achieve because of my own limitations and current job requirements.

Having any career in any industry will bring you to a realization that you’ll be taking almost similar path with your peers or seniors. Take IT as an example. Most System Engineers started as support engineers, then move a bit higher to become Solution Engineers, followed by Senior Solution Engineers. The next position is usually in the management force, be it Technical Lead or Technical Manager. After spending probably 8 or 15 years there, if we’re lucky we’ll be promoted to the C-level positions: CIO, CTO, COO, CEO etc etc…

Not many will make it to the C-level positions. Along the way, some might decide to make a 90 degrees turn and become an IT entrepreneur while some even do something totally different like growing crops or joining MLM to generate 5 figures income by selling corsets, for example.

It all depends on what kind of life excitement and satisfaction you expect from your career. Making career moves is so common nowadays that it doesn’t surprise me a bit when I heard an engineer friend joined herbal medicine business.

So this year I am looking for new excitement, but still asking myself ‘what’?

Home improvement

2011-04-11T12:43:00.001+08:00

After sacking my brengsek Bibik last year, I was left with hideous looking kitchen cabinet as a result of her stupidity. Just imagine, each time she did the dishes, she'd nearly flood the kitchen. Since my sink then had started having problems, water leaked into the base cabinet. So there was a huge gap between the sink and the tabletop. After a few months the adjoining base cabinet started having molds growing thanks to all the moist.

We've been trying to get quotations from kitchen cabinet contractors but they're reluctant to replace just 2 base cabinets. They all adviced us to throw away everything and install a whole new set. Since none of the quotation was attractive, we decided to just go to IKEA with our kitchen measurement. The planner at IKEA was very friendly and he explained the process and what will take place. During the first visit, we shared with him the basic requirements such as cabinet placements, type of drawers we needed, shelves the sink. About a week later, their contractor came for detail measurement of our kitchen. His name was Mr. Lim and he equipped with many sophisticated measuring devices which we never saw most of them before. After producing a more detail drawing, we went back to the IKEA kitchen planner for another round of discussion. He produced another drawing using his workstation and pointed out what are the measurements still missing. So, we went back to get the missing info and paid another visit the next week to finalize the design and purchase the items.

The boxes were delivered early to our home and the contractor came three days later for installation. The old base cabinets took less than half an hour to dismantle. They continued with installation and everything was completed before 5pm on the same day. I was happy with their workmanship.

Finally, the base kitchen cabinet was replaced with a new set.

Notice the difference in tone between the base and wall cabinets? We didn't change the wall cabinets as they're all still in very good condition. The biggest enemy of kitchen cabinets is the moisture. If you can maintain them well and prevent too much moisture, they can surely last, even if they're cheap ones.

The refrigerator was relocated and I have more space

The fridge was originally located next to the water filter/dispenser. Since it became quite a nuisance to me we decided to move it to the right side of the kitchen.

The voucher from the cabinet purchased was used for getting this.

A few weeks after the cabinet installation, we went back to IKEA to redeem the vouchers. We got the book rack above plus two more book shelves for Wazif & Shawqi's room FOR FREE!! He he he...

Cabinet negative test session by Zarif. This one failed, we bought another design.

Zarif is always excited to explore whenever we bring him to IKEA. He loves the kitchen section especially. He'd climb into one cabinet after another, played with the door handles and run happily between the aisles.

One of the latest books added to the new book rack. Awesome!

Now that I have extra space in my new book rack, I decided to add a few new titles to my collections. Starting with this book by Awang Goneng. A beautifully written non-fiction about the state I love most : Trengganu. How can you not love Trengganu? Reading this book really make we wanna go there immediately, have keropok lekor and fried ice cream at Pantai Batu Burok and then lazying all day. Oh well, I think that's exactly what I need. The hypertension I'm having might be a signal to go on long vacation in Trengganu. Hahahaha!

Zarif is 19 months

2011-04-08T14:36:00.000+08:00

19 months ago, a few minutes before discharged from hospital

2 months ago, after sambutan Maulidur Rasul

Enjoying his tutu (milk) at Hyatt, Kuantan.

Enjoying the cool breeze at Blackpool beach.

Eager to explore KLIA.

Too hungry, he's going to eat the sofa at Subang Parade.

A good news, another good one, followed by a confusion

2011-04-02T17:44:00.000+08:00

Good news number 1: We are getting company bonus this year, hooray! The last time we got bonus was way back in 2006. It was officially announced last month, and we're getting it in May. The incentive we received earlier was not part of this bonus, so this year we're getting extra money in stages. Not bad, huh? (I am sooo getting iPad 2 when it comes to Malaysia, hehe).

Good news number 2: My blood test result was OK. Well, actually everything's OK except for the cholesterol part. Total cholesterol is quite high, near the borderline but when I compare with my 2008 report, it has actually reduced quite significantly. So did the bad cholesterol reading. However, the doctor is still quite worried about my cholesterol because I have family members who died because of heart problems. So, I will have to control my cholesterol level and try to lower it to half of the current reading because of the risk.

What's confusing me right now is after seeing the test result, the doctor still can't find the root cause of my high blood. Some of my friends have even higher cholesterol than me but they don't have high BP problems. So, again the doctor reminded me to not worry too much.

Ok, have I been worrying too much? I can't think of a single thing that made me worry too much. I have stopped worrying since a few years ago. I decided to just go with the flow. I especially don't worry about things anymore. If it's meant to be mine, it will be. If it's meant to be lost, it will be. If things are destined to be broken, they will be.

I've also stopped worrying about people. If they're nice, and they're my friends, then I'm lucky. If they're mean, they better don't be friends with me.

Not only those, I've stopped worrying about my work and money. If there's work, I'd do it. If they give me money, then syukur Alhamdulillah. If there's no additional money, just be thankful I still have a job.

So, why in the world am I having hypertension?

Perhaps it's about time to let go or ignore more things.

Frustasi ... part 2

2011-03-30T12:26:00.000+08:00

Ok, I've been seeing the doctor 4 times this week. Each time my BP reading was high. She told me to rest, not eat or drink coffee before coming for the BP check and I did. But my reading remained high.

Today I did the blood tests as advised by the doctor. She needed to check my cholesterol level, blood sugar, organ condition and I also did the dreaded urine test too. Who likes urine test. Having to force yourself to pee after fasting for 12 hours is not easy. Although I did drink a few glasses of plain water before coming to the clinic but still, I hate peeing into a tiny cup in the narrow toilet.

I had a long chat with the doctor because she's trying to dig my history, my lifestyle and what could be the cause of the sudden spike in my BP. Well, can't really call it a spike as it's been high for almost a week now. I told her about my BP was at a worrying level back in 2008 but after that I took a few drastic actions to control it. Luckily I got pregnant in Dec 2008 and my BP stabilized from then onwards until March 2011. Then she started telling me to start walking at least twice a week and I told her that I actually go to the gym and do cardio, strength and sometimes weight training twice a week.

She asked about what I eat and I told her that I've been cooking dinner for at least three times a week. Other than that, we sometimes pack food or eat out. I didn't go in detail about what I cook but I do have my own checklist of the things that I allow to go into my family members' tummies. Lean meat, chicken breasts, fish, seafood and leafy vegetables have always been in my shopping list and bought twice a week as I don't want to keep those things too long in the fridge. Coconut milk and margarine are banned in my kitchen. So, no gulai lemak cili api or curry for dinner. I usually cooked the vege stir fried style or as soup. As for chicken, meat and fish, I love making assam pedas, sambal or masak kicap and all my cooking contain very little salt and sugar.

Well most of the recipes were copied from Biggest Loser website as I don't know how to count the calories if I were to come up with my own.

The doctor didn't ask about my work but she told me to change my lifestyle. Get enough rest, don't think too much about work problems, drink enough plain water and eat healthily.

Ok, now I'm so frustrated because I've been doing all those things for the past 5 years and yet my BP still skyrocket.

I decided to stop arguing and over analyzing things. The doctor prescribed me with Hypertension medicine and I have been taking it since yesterday. My next appointment with the doctor will be in a week's time. I hope the medicine works.

From high BP to brain drain issue

2011-03-28T16:35:00.000+08:00

In 2008 I was having high BP and cholesterol problem. I did blood test, then the doctor prescribed medicines to lower my cholesterol level. When I got pregnant in Dec 2008, my blood pressure returned to normal unexpectedly which the doctor found it quite unusual. Most women my age would have higher BP during pregnancy but my in my case it was the opposite.

I was very happy as my BP remained within the normal range throughout 2009 and 2010. However, two months ago it went up again. I went to see the doctor when I had one of my gastric attacks and she made a remark that I was already at Stage 1 of hypertension.

I was unhappy mainly because I’ve been cautious with what I ate and regularly exercised. The only thing I don’t have luxury to do is getting enough sleep because Zarif still wakes up a few times at night, sometimes for feeding and most of the times he’s uncomfortable because of the heat.

We can’t put the air conditioning on high because of his asthma problems and we definitely won’t turn the ceiling fan on at night. So, he would usually wake up at least twice at night and since I’m not the type that can easily go back to dreamland, I end up getting about 4 – 5 hours of sleep only, which is so not healthy.

Work pressure could be the other factor. I have to deal with similar depressing things now as in mid 2008. The problems and the people are so similar that it felt like Déjà vu. Well, even when the doctor lectured me also felt like Déjà vu.

Sometimes I wish I could tell people to treat others better so that the number of hypertension cases in the IT industry will be less. Frankly speaking, doing IT is not a difficult job. What make things difficult and bad is always the people. Some are just too ignorant and proud to let engineers like us to negotiate on effort and timeline. Some are just plain stupid to even understand what’s going on.

The country is facing brain drain because most workers don’t go through proper skills development programs. So, the claims made about our best workers have gone to migrate to work and live in more developed countries are not completely true. After so many years of moaning and sulking over those professionals who became specialists in foreign land, it’s about time to look inwards and invest more in the resources we have in the country.

I’m not a teacher and was never involved in the local education scene but the first thing I’d do to ensure we have quality workers is to raise the bar for SPM grading. When A only stands for Average, we’ll only produce Average professionals in their respective fields. When people tell me about their nephews or nieces getting 12 or 13 As for SPM, I seriously don’t know how to react. If we’ve been having 20- 40% of the students getting straight As for SPM, then why are we still having this brain drain issues?

We all know the answer. The students aced their SPM papers because of spot questions that can be obtained so easily and memorizing past years’ exam answers. This is not only happening to SPM students, the trend continues in universities as well. Even lab results, assignments and tutorial answers can simply be copied from seniors.

So, how are we going to be an innovative nation when everything is being copied over and over again?

Good news and bad news

2011-03-28T01:00:00.000+08:00

The good news is I've received my 2010 incentives as well as increment. Not 10 months bonus like some lucky people get, but enough to settle most of my credit card debt. Hehe.

The bad news, two people I know from work were diagnosed with cancer last week. I was shocked to learn about the first guy and was even more shocked when a friend told me about the other.

It's a nasty disease, I know..... but none of us have any idea on how to prevent it. In most of the cases I've read about, it's not easy to detect as it will go unnoticed for years.

My schoolmate, Yus was telling us about her tumor during our reunion two weekends ago. She went for her annual medical check-up and Doctor found the tumor. She was not experiencing any pain or discomfort on her chest area but after the check-up, Doctor confirmed it's a tumor and it was already 10cm in diameter when it's discovered. She had to undergo a major operation followed by 30 sessions of radiotherapy and was lucky enough because the tumor was not cancerous.

What else can we do besides going for annual medical check-up?
Don't smoke
Stay away from smokers
Eat healthily - choose quality food
Exercise regularly
Monitor stress level
Stay away from people who can give you unnecessary stress
Learn to relax and breathe
.... and many more, I guess.

So, in 2011 for those who have not decided on any resolution (like me) then perhaps this should be it. Living healthier and happier. And continue on searching for the purpose of life.

Aku takde la pandai masak.... tapi....

2011-03-24T23:56:00.002+08:00

I made a new year resolution in 2010 to cook dinner more often. Since I was pregnant in 2009, I don't remember doing any cooking throughout the 9 months. It was not because of the smell of food, but I was just too tired once I reached home from work. Pregnancy after 35 is seriously draining. Every weekend I spent at least 2 hours sleeping during day time. I could wake up and go to the office in the morning when my energy level was high, but after 6pm all I could think of was my bed.

So, in 2010 I started cooking dinner at least twice a week and lunch on Saturdays. It was quite difficult at first as I had to cook really quickly. I reached home at around 7.30pm (if I went to gym). After taking shower and Maghrib prayers, it's already 8.20pm. So, I only have about 45 minutes to prepare dinner.

I started with really simple recipes such as tempe goreng and fishball soup. After about a month, when I knew how to plan and execute better I started cooking a few types of sambal, soup, noodles and grilled stuffs. Once I learned the trick, it's becoming a lot simpler.

The keyword is PLAN. I had to start thinking of what to cook for dinner tomorrow before I retire to bed at night. In the morning I would thaw the meat or chicken in the fridge. Sometimes I bought additional ingredients at Jaya Grocer after gymming. Actually my life and schedule got better after Empire Gallery was opened. Gym and grocery store in the same complex, how convenient.

Today, after more than a year of cooking frequently at home I realized one thing: my hair fall is under control. So does my hubby's. Not too long ago the bedroom floor was always littered with our fallen hair. Now sometimes a few strands could be seen at the corners but in general, our hair fall problem is not as worrying as before. Eating out is fun where you can get endless choices of food in Malaysia but knowing how popular Ajinomoto is in the country, I can't imagine how many cans of MSG have been absorbed by my body. Besides MSG there are other chemicals added by the cook that we're not aware of. The various types of commercial sauces and their preservative are just as scary.

We can find a lot of delicious food sold in the eating places in KL, but finding quality food is quite a challenge. So, I'm glad with my decision to provide more home cooked food for the family. I grew up having home cooked food and my mom never used Ajinomoto or chicken stock cubes. It's only fair that my kids could enjoy those privileges too.

Wazif's favorite: cekodok ikan bilis (tak mau bawang)

Mr Hubby's favorite: fried salmon with garlic

Shawqi's favorite: Spaghetti bolognaise with keropok

Tsunami and then, video

2011-03-23T22:28:00.001+08:00

I still think that we should continue praying and contributing whatever we can to the Japan tsunami victims.It's a shame that our newspapers are dominated by the s3x video issue. We know general election is just around the corner, but can we not have s3x videos revealed and tens of thousands of people busy googling for it on the net? There goes productivity time!

Testing 02

2011-03-15T23:28:00.001+08:00

This is my second attempt using this blog editor. It is difficult typing this way. I've been making more than 10 typo.My friend told me to buy a Bluetooth keyboard so that I can type using all 10 fingers comfortably. I hope I'll have time to find one this Friday. I haven't been doing Friday lunch hour shopping for some time already, since I could only workout at the gym during lunch hour.This blog editor is free. It has only the most basic blog editing features. Very simple interface and I noticed a few bugs already.It seems like I'll just stick to my faithful Netbook for photo uploading and blog editing.I've only typed a few paragraphs but my fingers and palms hurt already.Must.go.shopping.soon!

It has been 20 years

2011-03-15T00:34:00.000+08:00

Some of the pictures I copied from the reunion's slide show:

L-R: Fira, Syama, Nik, Sue and Eyda

Groupie NKOTB Hahahahaha. L-R: Yus, Marine, Syama, Muly

Dining hall. Makan dalam tray plastic.

Kat Lab pun boleh posing lagi diorang ni.

Kelab kompang. Pak pak pungggg..!!

Enche' & Paie buat kelakar le ni. Masa Fun-Day.

Dinner hasil duit yang dikutip masa Fun-Day.

Aktivity round compound plus cam whoring.

Ini kelas saya, 1(1) tahun 1987.

This is me! minus 20 years and 25kg.

We had our 20 years reunion last Saturday. It was a hi tea and dinner event because we figured out having one meal will not be enough for us. Even that event was extended until breakfast the next day, for those who were staying in the hotel for the night. I must say it was a very successful reunion and congratulations to the organizing committee. As per Spena's posting in our Group, it all started during one of the lepak sessions at Ajune's place. The idea to have a big reunion had been discussed many times. We only managed to organize a mini reunion in 1997, I think at Sunway Resort and Hotel. It was just a short dinner, no speech, no games, not many things on the agenda.It was just eating and gossiping.

So, last weekend's event was more organized, although I was told that the time spent planning and making arrangement were only a few days, with only two meetings. It went so well and everyone present was happy. This time, some of us had to spend some time or asked around to remember a few faces. None of us actually changed much but it's been 20 years, we blamed ageing brains for forgetting some of the names.Hehe...

Pictures from the dinner have been uploaded to FB but I'm patiently waiting for the copies from our professional photographer to be put here. Until then, be patient with the current internet speed, y'all. It will take time to fix.

IWD: Tribute To Minah Karan

2011-03-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was International Women's Day. I got to wish a few women I know and by lunch time my mind started wondering and remembering all the women I've met in the past and we never crossed path again.
During my second year doing my Bachelor's Degree a few of my housemates decided to work during semester break. Three of us went for job interview at an electronic factory in Balakong. We were staying in Taman Muhibbah then, so Balakong was just 10 minutes bike ride from our place.

We got the job as operators. The interview was hilarious. My friends told me to not reveal to the interviewer that I was a student. So, I pretended that I was a jobless woman living nearby and when he asked what I was currently doing, I told her that I just stayed at home, watch TV and did some sewing (and that was actually the truth - those were my activities during semester breaks!)

Two of us started work the next day. I quit on the second day. My friend was mad at me because she was the one doing all the homework to find the place and taught me how to excel the interview. I quit because I couldn't stand the environment. We were all sitting in lines, doing repetitive work, which was making my fingers and back hurt. While working, the women around me were all gossiping, cursing, fighting with each other and during short breaks most of them went to reapply their make-up. Some of the boys there were bullying some of the girls and there was one particular guy who was trying to his luck on me. I told him off. He never came near me again that day.

After quitting that job I went to another interview at another electronic factory in Seri Kembangan with my other housemate. We got the job and we didn't even have to lie. The manager knew we were students. He welcomed us because he wanted undergrads to have a taste of working life. And it's cheap labour too. I think we were paid RM400 per month, which was good enough. I paid the rent and bought a few pairs of clothes with that money.

But still, we had to do the usual repetitive work. I remember the factory was producing computer chips and cell phone parts. I was assigned to a line that assembled really tiny LEDs and their tiny housing. I was told it was for Ericsson cell phones. My guess was they're battery indicators. If you still remember those days, when the battery was full, the green LED will flash. If it's orange, your battery was weak and needed recharging.

At this small factory I got to know three girls who happened to be siblings: Along, Huda and Lynn. They lived nearby and we went to their house a couple of times. The three of them had no resemblance at all. I was quite surprised to learn that they're sisters. Along was in her mid twenties, Huda was 19 and Lynn was 18 that year. But all of them looked much older than their age.

The three of them fought a lot, even during operation hours. Lynn would call her elder sisters' names and Huda cursed the most. Along is the quieter one but she loved to pinch people. After a short gossip session with her, you'll surely bring home a few blue black spots. Lynn was a tomboy. She dressed, walked and talked like a boy. Huda told me that her younger sister had a few girlfriends. During one of our short breaks, I asked Lynn about it but she denied being a lesbo. She told me she just liked girls.

One weekend they invited us to have lunch at their house. The three of them were staying with their parents. The house was quite small for 5 adults, they were sharing rooms and the mother told me that Lynn was still sleeping with them. No wonder she's still the youngest, I told the mother.

That day Lynn sat next to me after lunch and told me that she's envious of us. I asked why. She said she wanted to have higher academic qualification but her exam results were not good enough and her parents couldn't afford to send her to any private college. In her tomboy voice she told me,
'Aku benci tau korang dapat belajar sampai university. Tapi aku kena keje.'

There's no better advice I could give her than,

'Kau keje lah kumpul duit, bila dah cukup kau sambunglah belajar sendiri.'

Well, it's quite easy to advice a tomboy because I don't have to find flowery sentences to start with.

'Oi, blah la kau. Berapa tahun aku kena keje kilang ni nak kumpul duit?' She gave me a soft punch on the shoulder and I just laughed.

That conversation took place in 1996. Two years after graduation I was back in Seri Kembangan because I was craving for Pisang Sira sold at the Pasar Ramadhan. While walking towards my hubby's car, a girl on a bike called out my name. I turned to look and it was Lynn.

We shook hands and asked about each other's life. I told her I was recently married and working in Damansara. I asked about her and she let out a big laugh.

'Aku tengah final year Diploma ni. Akupun nak jadi pandai macam kau!'

Well I was so happy to hear that. Apparently, she took my advice and continued working in the factory to save money for her education.

Ever since that day, I never looked at all Minah Karan the same again. They might be doing those boring repetitive works and underpaid. But deep inside many of them have ambitions and the drive to be better.

Happy International Women's Day you all!

Sacrifice

2011-03-07T12:27:00.001+08:00

I’ve been going to the gym during lunch hour since December 2010. It’s getting more frequent now, sometimes twice a week. I also noticed a few gym-goers who came at around 12.30 and left at 1.30pm. It seems like I’m not the only one having to resort to this arrangement. Most of these gym-goers are working women and I bet they are also mothers. People like us have to sacrifice lunch hours just to sweat.

Although I workout during lunch hour, I still managed to get lunch, usually before my gym session. Thank god there’s a small cafeteria in the office, I can easily get toast and half boiled eggs at 11.30a.m. Usually I’d bring packed lunch from home. After workout, two bananas would be enough to supply the much needed energy until 6pm.

I know it’s not really advisable to spend longer lunch hour to go to the gym, but what other choices do I have now? It’s almost impossible to workout after office hours when most of my afternoon meetings end at 6.30 or 7pm. Going to the gym in the morning is also out of the question. My mornings started quite late as I need to prepare Zarif’s things and drive him to the day care. He is not a morning person as everytime I wake him up to wash his face and get changed, he’s always cranky. Usually it’ll take me 15 minutes or so just to calm him down, feed him and get him into a fresh pair of pajamas. I don’t bathe him early in the morning because of his asthma problem.

Before my work became this hectic and demanding, I only had 5.30 – 7pm to workout. Everyone at home expects to see me back before Maghrib. I was envious seeing my single friends who could work out from 8-10pm. They had ample time for proper warm up, doing all their planned exercises and then cool down. They even had the luxury of time to wind down in the steam room and took long, rejuvenating bath afterwards.

While I, had to cramp everything into 50 minutes. Warm up, cardio, weight, stretch, cool down. All those within 50 minutes and I had to do them with greater difficulty levels to ensure more calories are burnt. It’s quite accurate to describe my life (not only my gym session) as 18 rushing hours (only 6 hours spared for sleep).

Juggling career, family and personal things is not easy. You might have read it in the other few thousand blogs or magazine articles. Some women had to sacrifice some things just to make sure they don’t lose their family. Some women even decided to choose career over family. The two scenarios happened in our life and I know a few women who had to make those decisions.

Society will point fingers to the women if anything should happen to the families, regardless of the decisions they made now. To be a stay at home mom or a working one is not an easy choice. I was contemplating staying at home and give 100% focus to the family many times in the last few years, especially since my kids started schooling. However, an advice from a dear friend from my old workplace always rang in my ears.

She said, whatever happens in the life of a woman, never lose the financial independence. Because you’ll never know what will happen to your husband or who he will become in the future.

Well, my friend gave me that advice a few months after her divorce. She was not bitter, but she was talking from her own experience. I followed her advice then and I still remember it today. So far, I have very few regrets.

Frustasi

2011-03-02T13:28:00.001+08:00

One of the things that really frustrates me these days is having to cancel my important meetings because I have to attend another meeting that doesn't even require me to speak a word. Reason being, people attending that meeting expected to see my face there. In other words: I have to show my commitment by being there although the meeting might not even be discussing areas related to my team's deliverables.

Since I have to attend those 'more important' meetings, other things had to put on a lower priority. This is causing great frustration and angers some parties that are depending on my decisions and advise. Okay, I'm not such an important figure in this industry but my job description lists a lot of things.

Some of the people I consulted didn't really help as the only advice they could give was 'We're paid to do it.'
Thanks but no thanks. That's why most of the time I decided not to share my problems with friends but rather blog about it and share with the whole world.

Money is not my main concern these days. Once upon a time I accepted an offer which was laughable. I'm not a demanding person. I know what I want in life and the most important thing is I want to live and die happily.

There are a few other frustrations that might take me the whole day to blog about. But some of developments at workplace can really affect our personal life. I am not willing to make more sacrifices especially my health and my time with the family.

During the 'important meeting' I had to keep myself busy by snapping picture of my own shoes.

For the next few weeks, I'm going to make a few adjustments. A few people will be angry, I know. Some will accuse me for being selfish. But then again, wth. This is my life. I'm 100% responsible.

Oh my hair!

2011-02-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

Long....

Still long...

Oooooops... need to cut..

Short already...

My new look. Rambut askar.

Keep swimming... keep swimming...

2011-02-27T18:24:00.000+08:00

We go to the Putrajaya Public Pool at least once a month. We bring beach ball and floats.

The beach ball and us.

After like three years, Shawqi and I still can't swim. Only Wazif and Mr. Hubby know how to swim properly. I can float and move in the water a bit, but not swim.

Sesi berendam, harap-harap boleh mengecutkan lemak.

The truth is, I don't have water confidence. I'm not sure why. I can float quite easily, maybe because of the amount of fat I carry under my skin. This year, I need to overcome my fear of water.

Juara menggigil sedunia.

And so does Shawqi. He's been to one of the basic swimming classes but until today, he's not confident enough to swim. That's why we always bring the floats.

I love compact cars

2011-02-19T01:14:00.000+08:00

If I have the money, I would buy this Ford Fiesta and Honda Jazz Concept M.

One of my colleagues just bought this car. I saw it today and I think it's super cool. It suits city driving as it's sporty and equipped with all the necessary safety features. And OTR price is less than 83K!

I think I should go for a test drive one of these days so that I could write a review on this sexy babe.

My Stream has become the official family car. So everyday it ferries 7 people here and there.

Sometimes I just wish that I still have my Jazz, easier to cilok-cilok especially in KL area. Though a bit pricey but it's really reliable and easy to handle.

But then, if I really have the money, where am I going to park them? I live in an intermediate terrace house and the driveway can only fit our existing sedan cars. *sigh*

Zarif is 17 months

2011-02-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

On 25th Jan, Zarif turned 17 months (I hope I'll live long enough to write about his 17th birthday, insyaallah). That week he was not really well, he had asthma attack. We've heard stories from our mothers/grandmothers that small kids would be sick on the week of their birthdate. I found some truth in this after monitoring my kids when they're less than 3 years old. Every month Zarif would either have cough, flu or fever around the 25th.

Me and my daddy's iPad (which I conquer all the time).

Well, when I was pregnant with him, my gynae prescribed Neuro Gain. She told me the baby will be very clever and won't have to spend too much time studying for exams (like how we did when we're at school/uni. LOL). The gynae was right! Zarif can play games on the iPad, switch between applications, change settings, unlock and do so many other things on that tablet which I never taught him. Actually he's the one who showed us the shortcut to iPod on a locked iPad. Hehe.

My favorite membotol place - on the sofa in front of the TV.

He's taking solid food now but would still ask for milk like 6 times a day. He still wakes up at around 4a.m screaming to be fed.

I love buses. I'm looking at one now.

He's so fascinated with lorries and buses. When he sees either one he would scream 'BAAAAAS!!!!' When he sees a car, he'd say 'CAR!' According to his paediatrician, once they reach 18 months it's normal for toddlers to be able to say single syllable words. So far Zarif is progressing well, I think because he can do it already. 'kucing' will be 'CHING', 'makan' will be 'MAM', 'abang' will be 'BANG'.
Then there's one word he can pronounce in 2 syllables, that is 'DAHSYAT!'; he pronounces it as 'DACAT!'. Obviously he likes to watch Raja Lawak 5 on ASTRO.

I was so tiny back then.

Whenever I snap his picture I will always look at this very first picture of him I took at the hospital. He was only a few hours old when this picture was taken. Alhamdulillah, he's grown bigger now and I pray he'll be healthy and have a happy childhood.

Asthma

2011-01-28T16:26:00.000+08:00

So, Zarif has had asthma attacks twice. Once in November, during Raya Haji and the second time was two days ago. He's active as always, so I only realized he's asthmatic when he couldn't sleep at night and wheezing. I almost miss it the first time. I thought it was just mild fever and continuous coughing. Then my sister in law noticed his rapid breathing.

Shawqi and Wazif has history too. When they were about 1 year old they had it. Both cases were not serious. Zarif's first case was also mild. However this time the ER doctor actually advised to have him admitted for closer monitoring and more frequent neb. Zarif hates the nebuliser. When he sees it he would scream and start kicking and struggling.

I decided not to have him admitted as I couldn't imagine having to hold him when the nurse starts neb. This morning at the clinic, there were three people: me, the nurse and the doctor who had to hold him so that he sit still. He was crying throughout the 15 minutes of getting neb. Another nurse offered him candy and chocolate biscuits but he threw them away.
I think he's also started to developed some kind of phobia whenever he saw the nurse approached him with the misty neb.

After getting neb he would sleep longer than usual. I couldn't hear him wheezing. However he has two more neb sessions because the doctor told me that it's quite serious. After last night's neb sessions he slept well until about 4.30a.m. He tossed around, crying, breathing rapidly and was wheezing again.
The truth is asthma runs in my family. Three of my brothers had it when they're young. I consider myself lucky I was spared, but I have gastritis.

My most serious case was when I was in Form 4. It was so bad, I couldn't even climb the staircases to the library. After just a flight of stairs, I'd be breathless, panting and struggling for air. I had severe heart burn and sometimes even my back hurt.I went to see a doctor in Triang and he told me that it was stomach ulcer. A few weeks later I went to get a second opinion from a doctor in JB and she asked me whether scoping was done by the other doctor to prove that it was indeed ulcer. Since he didn't, it remained non-conclusive. So, whenever people asked why I was not eating oily and spicy stuffs, I just told them that I had very bad stomach problem.

Ok back to the asthma story, the doctor I saw this morning gave a few advices on how to prevent asthma attacks. She told me that usually toddlers will be less sensitive to dust, cold or germs once they reached 2 years of age. Zarif is now almost 1.5 years old. Have to take extra precaution for the next 6 months. If he's sick and couldn't sleep, the rest of the household will be wide awake.

Post training blog post

2011-01-23T01:38:00.000+08:00

Last week I went to a leadership course that felt more like a bootcamp ala commando training. On my first day, I was questioning myself why did I decided to voluntarily attend it. It was the toughest training I have ever attended.
We started at 8.25am and ended at 7.30pm at the earliest. On the 4th day we ended at 11.40pm when the last group left the room (well, my group finished only one hour earlier). The schedule was so packed that we never spent more than 10 minutes for coffee breaks. I haven't been that disciplined for a long time. I set out at 6.55am every morning to drive Zarif to the Daycare and make sure I arrive at the Hotel where the training was held before 7.45am. The last time I arrived that early at the office was when my ex boss called for 8 am meetings. That was like a few centuries ago.
However, it was a damn good course. I've been to a few other leadership courses but this one was the most challenging one. There were lectures, course works, case study, daily exam and finally a group work that we have to complete. It's a certification course, so all the assignment and exams' marks really mattered to each participants.
I dare say it was a huge success. Besides completing and passing the certification, I could feel that I am looking at the world and myself differently now. I feel less troubled and stressed even when I had to handle a big problem at one of the customers this weekend.
Yes, I haven't had the chance to take a good rest after the course ended but I didn't feel tired and cranky on Saturday morning like I usually did. Until this minute and hour I still feel fully charged and surprisingly looking forward to Monday morning. Ok let's hope there'll be no more Monday blues posting from now on.
So now I'll need to keep this momentum going because it's going to take a lot of energy and hard work from me for 2011. I'm also looking forward to our company kick off next week with high hopes that some incentives will be announced, hehe...

Robbed

2011-01-14T16:47:00.000+08:00

I think my life is being robbed. I can only go to gym on Fridays - during lunch hour. So that means I can only work out once a week now. Too bad.

What's even worse is that now I have to attend way too many meetings. They're really long, boring and unproductive. Usually if I were to call for meetings, I'd limit them to 60minutes. Well, my mind can only digest things I focus on for 20 minutes, the rest of the 40 minutes will be healthy arguments. So, imagine how screw up my mind would be if I were to be in a 4 hour meeting!

My 2010 diary and my mango for tea break

2010 had been very busy. I bought a diary and only started writing in July. Up till today, only 20 pages used. So, I'm not buying any diary this year. I'll just write my meeting notes in this same diary or my iPhone Notes. Well, despite spending hours in the boardroom this diary is still not really filled up, that's how unproductive it has been.

I spent most of the time waiting for discussions related to things that don't concern me but I was not allowed to go out and do my own things. During some of the meetings, I even ended up Tweeting and playing games on my phone. That's bad, I know. But don't expect me to participate in things I don't know the head and tails.

As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for the office hour to end because another meeting is supposed to start after 5pm. Imagine how many families/hubbies/wifeys/children will be cursing if the meeting doesn't conclude by 7pm.

New place

2011-01-12T17:14:00.000+08:00

No I didn't move to a new house, just moved to another floor and got a new (but very old) cubicle. Old laptop too. Must request for a new one this quarter.

The good news is I can see the Federal Highway very clearly, I can do live traffic update everyday ( like I don't have any other thing to do lah... haha).

Nice things

2011-01-07T17:58:00.000+08:00

This is what I like to do when I became too depressed or when it's too much to bear. I look at nice and pretty things. Googling for images can be very therapeutic. Browsing through resort websites is also calming. Everytime I did that I'd imagine I'm on holiday even if I was in the middle of a long and boring meeting. Another escapism, I guess.

Nice pasta - takde kaitan dengan blog entry

This pasta is sold at Restoran Makan-makan in Puchong. However, it has been improvised to suit the Malaysian tastebuds, I think sebab ada cili padi.

Cute baby girl - my cucu sedara. She calls me Wan Dayang. Hahahaha.

I am so old, I already have a granddaughter. This is the daughter of one of my nieces. The mother is now 7 months preggers, so I'll have 2 cucu soon.

Cute cupcakes - done by Shaz for my nephew's engagement.

I hardly have time to update my blog, let alone bake and decorate cupcakes. So, I ordered these cuties from Shaz, my ex-officemate who is now a full time businesswoman. I chose the cutest design I could find on Shaz's blog. Usually people prefers to have big, grand roses (or some other beautiful flower) as the cuppies' deco, but I like small, wild flowers.

Okay, now let's focus on this long meeting. Done with my short escape. Hehehe.

New Year Came, New Year Went

2011-01-06T01:19:00.001+08:00

This is sort of a stale story/update but I still wanna put the top 5 lyrics I did for the new year countdown here:

#5- Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
’relax,’ said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!
-Eagles

Number 5 went to Hotel California. I grew up listening to this song. It became a radio hit again about 6 years ago, I couldn't remember why. Eagles did a reunion tour, I think.

‎#4- Now I can't say my name, and tell you where I am
I want to roll myself away, don't know if I can
I wish that I could be in some other time and place
With someone else's soul, someone else's face.
Oh, Tuesdays just might go my way
It can't get worse than yesterday
Thursdays, Fridays ain't been kind
But somehow I'll survive
- Jon Bon Jovi

Someday I'll Be Saturday Night was introduced to me by one of my ex-coursemates. I used to spend my time in her room doing our tutorials (well, it was actually copying answers from some senior's tutorials). It was one of the shitty periods of my campus life (and so was hers). We loved this song so much because it gave us some hope that we'd eventually get out of the shit we're in.

#3-
Sayang ku mungkir pada kejujuranmu
Menolak segala bahgia dihadapanku
Kasihku mungkir pada kata janjiku
Berlari aku jauh dari cintamu
Ku kesali
-Hazami

A few years ago the only Hazami's song I knew was Sonata Musim Salju. One day, there was this macho officemate of mine told me to copy a song from his thumb drive. He told me to listen to the nicest song ever he just copied from his friend. My first thought was it might be some rap or death metal song (just by looking at this guy the first thing that would come to mind was - oh ganasnya rupa brader nih). So, I was totally amazed when I listened to Mungkir Bahagia. It's such a beautiful song and Hazami's voice was so subtle and touching. It's still difficult to associate this song with that brader macho, but I believe he's the type that 'dalam hati ada taman'.

‎#2- Kugenggam angin semalam
Kusimpan jadi nyanyian
Kupeluk bayang hitamku
Menjadi kamus mimpiku
-Hattan

Memburu Rindu was the number one song on Malay radio stations during my Uni orientation week. So everyone in campus memorized this song.

#1- I've always been in love with you
I guess you've always known it's true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
-Madonna

So far there are 3 famous Take A Bow songs that I know of. Madonna's, Rihanna's and Leona Lewis's. My favorite is still the one from Madonna. This was like THE song to listen to and sing until your throat hurts after a relationship didn't work well/break up. This song reminds me of a few jerks I used to know and I'm glad for the right things I did.

So with that 20 favorite lyrics of mine, I wish you a very Happy 2011. I hope you and I will find happiness.

My countdown to 2011

2010-12-29T17:03:00.002+08:00

I'm doing this countdown to 2011. I don't know why but I love celebrating special dates, be it birthdays, anniversaries, dates with special numbers, new years etc. For 10.10.10 I put up as many Facebook status that started with 'On 10.10.10.....' Some people think it's stupid to do special things to mark dates such as 10.10.10 but I enjoyed doing it. I think I don't have enough celebrations in my life, I need to add more.
My countdown for 1.1.11 is putting up 20 of my favorite song lyrics on my Facebook status. Most of them are old songs. What do you expect, I spent my teenage years in the late 80s. ;) hehehe..

On 27th Dec, I put up these songs:

#20- Kesetiaan sebagai bekalan,
Bisikanmu penuh pengharapan
Tiada garis dapat memisahkan,
Segalanya kudratmu Tuhan.
-Bloodshed-

Srikandi Cintaku is such a nostalgic song. It was one of the earliest Rock Kapak songs that became a hit. M. Nasir composed this song and he even re-recorded it in about 10 years ago.

#19- Betapa aku, lemah di sini,
Melihat cinta ini pergi,
Di sini bermula bicara, terpedaya
Dan bicara itu membunuhnya.
-Ekamatra

I sang this song in a concert at school in 1990. My schoolmates started calling me Rahmat or Mat after that. We were only lip syncing but it was great fun.

#18- Bukannya aku tewas dalam perjuangan,
Membelai impian,
Sebentar tadi aku, lihat sinar matamu,
Lihat sinar matamu.
-BPR

I actually planned to sing this song with the live band on my brother's wedding but my friend requested me to sing Harum Subur di Hati. So, I sang the latter although I rehearsed this song about 50 times.

#17- Gerimispun reda, angin syahdu
Bawa berita
Kau telah tiada lagi
Pulang ke hadratNya.
Tiada dapat kulihat dan dengar
Lagi wajah dan kata terakhirmu
Kumeratap pilu...
- Sheila Majid

Gerimis Semalam was THE saddest song in the early 90s. Girls would listen to it and cried their hearts out after their relationships ended or someone dear died.

#16- Kumencari kembali pohon hijau yang rendang,
Di situlah kita berteduh.
Dan sungainya bertali arus air mengalir.
Dijadikan perlambangan,
Tanda setianya percintaan
Dua insan.
-Francessca Peters

Aku Hanya Pendatang was popular in 1986, I was in standard 6. It was my favorite as I thought it was the most beautiful song ever written and sung by our songbird of the 80s.

On 28th Dec, I put up these songs:

#15- you gave me wings and made me fly,
You touched my hand I could touch the sky,
I lost my faith you gave it back to me,
You said no star was out of reach.
You stood by me and I stood tall,
I had your love, I had it all...
-Celine Dion

I listened to this song over and over again during my Uni days, on my walkman in the library. Many of us were so vulnerable those years, so in need of beautiful words such as these to keep our spirits high.

‎#14- You'll remember me somehow,
Though you don't need me now,
I will stay in your heart,
And when things fall apart,
You'll remember one day....
- MJ

I learned English by memorising this song. I remember sitting next to the radio with a pen and paper to copy the words. Luckily it was played quite often in the early 80s. So, I managed to copy all of the words in just a day.

#13- It's late in the evening,
She's wondering what cloth to wear,
She puts on her make up,
And brushes her long blond hair
-Eric Clapton

This is beautiful song about a husband's feelings towards his wife. In my early Uni days, every boyfie was dedicating this song to their girlfie, so it was phenomenal.

#12- It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand For you to hold
You can find love If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt Will disappear
-Mariah Carey

Another song to lift my spirit during my difficult Uni days (especially exam week) and soul searching periods.

#11- Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja
-Faizal Tahir

I am not a fan of Faizal Tahir, this was the first song from him that really caught my attention. I hope he wins AJL this year.

On 29th Dec I put up these songs:

#10 - Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby, and everything's alright, everything's alright
- Bad English

One of my friends dedicated this song to me. So 'tak larat', ok. I went in front of the mirror and checked my smile.

#9- you can change your friends,
your place in life
you can change your mind
we can change the things we say
and do it anytime
oh no, but I think you'll find
that when you look inside your heart
oh baby, I'll be there
-Van Halen

When my late father had a heart attack and was admitted to the ICU in 1995 I rushed to Mentakab Hospital and only had Van Halen and Wings cassettes together with my walkman. I slept in the hospital to accompany my mom and was listening to this song over and over again while studying for my exam. I sat for my exams the following week.

#8- Yang amat mengharukan
Kalimahmu luahan dalam
Bukan sekadar puisi ciptaan
tapi tulus ikhlas dan kesungguhan ..oh
-Wings feat Mel

This was one of the songs in the Wings cassette that I brought to the hospital (refer #9).

#7- Aku terikat tanpa tali
Aku berdiri tanpa bumi
Aku berkata tanpa suara
Aku menangis tanpa airmata
- Wings

I sang this verse at the top of my lungs when I need to let some steam off. The screaming part in the last line is very important. This helps me keep my sanity.

#6- Keraguan Ini Bukanlah Padamu
Perasaan Hati Masih Rindu
Kekalutan Ini Hanyalah Untukku
Tercari-Cari Bayanganmu
-Anuar Zain

I went to watch the movie Cinta with a friend who just told me that she's getting divorced. I was devastated. When I heard this song played during the movie, I cried.

BYOB

2010-12-16T14:52:00.002+08:00

Before BYOB became the famous acronym for Bring Your Own Bag in Selangor, it was mainly used for Be Your Own Boss. There were a few books on this, I think and they were all Best Sellers about 6 or 7 years ago. I flipped through one of this BYOB books at MPH many times but was not really interested to buy as I was afraid the book would end up collecting dust on my bookshelf. Didn't have much time to read back then. The best thing I could do was read as many chapters I could at the book shop. Then came back again a few days later to read a few more. In the end, I didn't buy any of the BYOB books.

Since it's a self help book, it did a lot to influence my tiny mind. I started thinking on what I should do next in life that can make me a happier and more content person. I was famous for being unhappy and unsatisfied with everything, in other words - tak reti bersyukur. LOL.

So, the book was quite an eye opener when I realized that I was unhappy because I was not doing the things I really enjoyed or perhaps I was not surrounded by people with positive energy. BYOB encourages people to be independent, be an entrepreneur, do what you love most and hopefully you'll live a happier life.

Makcik Gemuk's Chicken Chop Restaurant operating hours.

It got me thinking, what business would suit me most? What did I love doing most? Did I have what it took to become an entrepreneur? If I were to be my own boss, my business hours would be like the above notice. Will I ever be successful or end up with piling debts?

I made a 5-year plan back then, it was 2004. I didn't really know what business I wanted to start. One of my ex-colleagues shared some info on Franchising opportunities. I glanced through the list and made a point to research further but knowing me, I didn't do any follow up on that because I suck at following up on anything. Even on my own Credit Card balance.

So I didn't start any franchise business. Had a few sessions of brainstorming with my friends on starting up an IT consulting company but since we were so aware of the local IT scene - and how frustrating it was to small Bumi consulting companies, we scraped the idea before any paper work started.

In the end I just changed job. From one System Integrator to another. I continued working as an IT engineer. The first 3 years was a lot of fun as I got to do technical hands on works. Becoming IT Project Engineer again after more than 2 years locked up in boardroom was so refreshing as it was something I enjoyed.

However my happiness didn't last long as I was put back in the management line about 2.5 years ago. I'm not a manager, but I'm doing people management work, which I really suck at and I hate it wholeheartedly. I'd rather deal with the biggest, heaviest, most complex machine on earth than to have to manage people. I find it difficult to talk to certain type of people when I'm at my best when I can communicate in syntaxes. My interpersonal communication doesn't reflect my writing ability.

I can write essays, technical reports, long winding emails, formal letters and sometimes even short stories but once I'm told to confront an engineer who is constantly missing his deadline, I'm just tongue-tied. Finding Unix commands is a lot easier than finding the right words to advice people. And I just suck at that too and ended up making a few enemies and losing a few team members. When the management announced that we're not getting increment this year, it made me ask myself, 'Are all these worth it? Am I going to be happy with these?'

Happier times - updating server IP list. Hahaha...

With all that dilemma and mountains of spreadsheets I have to work on, I find myself unhappy with the things I'm doing now. A few months ago, I was back on the drawing board - working on my next 5-year plan.
Will update you later on the results.
Not sure what will materialize - but it's definitely going to be shocking.

Note: First Picture was Googled. Second Picture was from Uncle Darren's camera.

One of the Solutions to my school holiday headache

2010-12-06T16:59:00.001+08:00

It was not planned and I was not even aware that this tablet was made available in Malaysia early last week. When I was in the UK in June this year, I was sikit-sikit berangan to get the wifi model (lowest) spec but couldn't find any Apple store during the last few days of my stay there. It was priced at BP429 then (about RM2102 with 4.9 conversion rate).
When it was officially launched in Malaysia, the lowest spec was priced at RM1,549. There was not much hype about it as many Malaysian has resorted to buying their iPads from Europe, UK, Australia and Singapore. Some even bought the 'underwater' ones in the IT shops in KL. My friend told me that 'underwater' iPads costed about RM2800!!! Wow! For those who were not patient enough to wait for 30th Nov 2010 must be spitting on their computer (or iPad screen) looking at the prices for Malaysian market.
Many of the online reviewers advised not to buy iPad now as iPad 2 will be announced probably in April 2011. So, I was silently planning to start saving to buy iPad 2 next year.
On 30th Nov morning, I left for work a bit later than usual as I was going to conduct a training somewhere in Puchong, which was only 5 minutes drive from home. I stopped at petrol station and picked up The Star. The iPad launch made it to one of the smaller headlines.

During coffee break that morning I asked one of the participants whether there's any Apple store at IOI Mall. Well, although I live in Puchong I haven't been to many parts of that mall for such a very long time. Ever since Fitness First Empire Gallery was opened, I hardly go to the gym at IOI. Damn the 'laluan kontra' from 4.30pm - 8.30pm!!! (yeah, still cursing it even after so many months already). The participant I asked, didn't even look like an Apple fan (he used a Nokia phone, BTW). He's heard of iPad but was not aware that it was only made officially available in Malaysia on that day. *sigh*
We finished class early so I rushed to IOI mall with my gym bag. I haven't been able to go to gym for more than a month with all these year end things going on in the office. Whenever I get the chance, I'll leave early and head to the gym. While running on the treadmill I texted Mr. Hubby about iPad availability in the country and asked whether he'd like one. His reply was 'I nak 2 bijik!'
After working out for about an hour, I packed my things and prepared some loose change to pay for the parking ticket. As I walked out of the gym I saw many people in the epicenter shop. Yes, they do have authorized Apple reseller in that mall. There were a few families and couples playing with the iPads on display. They only had a few units for people to play around with. Since I've played with it so many times when we first saw it in Manchester, I wasted no time and made a beeline to the counter.
After fifteen minutes, I was walking happily (how I wished I could skip all the way hehehe) to my car with a 32GB Wifi + 3G iPad in my gym bag. Hooray!
When I reached home, I took it out and presented to Mr. Hubby and wished him a very advanced Happy Birthday (his birthday is 8th Jan, anyway... ) He looked a bit surprised and told me he didn't know how to use it. Later that night I showed some of its functionality but he didn't look very impressed or interested in the gadget.
The next day I spent some time to synch the iPad with my iTunes at home, put in Mr Hubby's favorite songs, photos he recently took with his new camera and downloaded a few top grossing games from the App Store. Once I was done I showed him what I've put in. He admired the photo quality for a few minutes before he lost interest again. Then I showed him how to play Angry Birds HD. Ever since he started playing that game, he never stopped and hooked to it until today.
I also downloaded a few free games for the children. They're experts with iPhone so it took them no time to explore iPad. The good thing is every game can be a multiplayer game with a touchscreen. They've been playing Cut The Rope, PACman, Ninja Jump, Tappy Tap, Smurf Village and Restaurant Story. Too bad they have to take turns with Mr Hubby to play. (Oh, I've already gave some hints to Mr Hubby that iPad 2 is coming out some time next year, and I prefer if he gets one in July... hehe).
For now my headache can be considered solved as the kids spend more time playing with the iPad than wrestling in my room or having one on one soccer game in the living area.
But now comes a new headache, they always ask me for the time as they need to harvest their potatoes/tomatoes/carrots/strawberries at the Smurf Village before they all wilt. Whenever we go out, they'd insist we go home early so that they can check their plants and then prepare food for the customers in Restaurant Story. I hope this is better than buying them PS3 and they just sat in front of the screen and refuse to go out. I hope both of them have totally forgotten about PS3... hihihi...

Note: Picture was Googled.

Hey, I was a teacher for 2 days

2010-12-01T17:22:00.004+08:00

I had to conduct a Technical Training this week. It’s been ages since I did project deployment. In other words, ‘sudah berkarat’. Since my name was committed to deliver the training since the project started, I had to do it. It was a two days training. I had to finish reading 5 ‘thick’ online manuals before I was confident enough to do it.

It’s easy to show engineers how to do things, but when it comes to explaining the theory behind it – well, it involved losing a few nights’ sleep. That’s how difficult it was (for me). Maybe that’s why the thought of becoming a teacher/lecturer never crossed my mind.

A few years ago, I had to conduct a 5 days training to 12 government officers. I didn’t know then that most of them never used the product. I spenta few weeks preparing the course material. Complete with servers for them to do their hands-on lab. So, during the training I noticed many blurred faces. I tried re-phrasing some of the explanations many times. Still, they were showing blanked eyes. It’s either they’re miles away or have fallen asleep with their eyes opened.

So, I learned my lessons. This time, on the first day before I started my first lesson I distributed quiz questions. There were 6 of them. All were simple and general questions relating to the product. The training participants took 10 minutes to answer and they failed the quiz. We discussed the questions and I gave them the correct answers. They nodded and said ‘Oooooooh’ everytime I explained the answers. I knew I was in trouble then. Again, this was the case where beginners were forced to attend advanced classes. *Sigh*

Luckily I have the product simulator software, so I shared it with them. I let them play with the simulator for about 2 hours. After that I went through the important tasks they just did using the simulator; that was when I noticed their enlightened faces. *Phewwww*

I scraped the syllabus earlier planned for them. I had to use a different approach. So, there was no lecture. The training was turned into group discussion – a lot of drawing, a lot of quizzes and case studies.

On the second day, their boss came to see me and asked whether his engineers are good to do deployment. I told him that I let them experiment with the simulator and he was furious!!!! Hahahaha… He expected I would let the engineers to have hands on with their production system. NO WAY! If they screwed up, I’d be the one who had to recover the system. Tak kuasa makcik.

Well, my point is, never take Training Needs Analysis lightly. Technical Training is nothing like giving lessons in school – prepare lesson plan, lecture as according to syllabus, give homework, exam. A lot more preparation needs to be done. If it’s a big Technical Summit then perhaps we won’t have the luxury of time to get to know each participant. But this is providing training to identified engineers. There was ample time to identify their skill level and training needs. Ok, I must suggest this to the management. Ada harapan tak diorang akan setup a Training Department? Hahahahaha… Boleh aku mintak transfer.

*Note: Picture was Googled.

School holidays

2010-11-28T22:52:00.001+08:00

I used to love school holidays when I was studying in STF because I got to go home and sleep 18 hours a day. Now that I have school going kids and the holiday falls during the busiest time of the year I'm starting to loath the 6 long weeks. Year end is just mad and a madding period. I made at least 3 enemies in November and December 2009. And it's impossible to be friends with them ever again. People just lose their minds when it comes to financial year closing. There's quota to achieve, numbers to chase, customer billing, project completion, hardware deliver etc etc. Everybody is pushing everybody. I just hate this time of the year. Christmas and New year holidays have no meaning when most of the times we had to be in the office and do all the last minute things.

With so many things on the plate, the kids at home would call me at least 3 times of the day to inform me on 'very' important things like:
'Mak, Shawqi taknak mandi..! Marah dia nanti tau..'
'Mak, Wazif baling-baling buku tadi.'
'Mak, Shawqi taknak buat latihan Bahasa Malaysia.'
'Mak, Shawqi mandi pukul 3 petang, lepastu dia taknak gosok gigi.'
'Mak, nak pinjam laptop!'

If I'm in a meeting and tell them to call back later, they WILL call back about 2 minutes later. If I don't pick up, they will leave voice mails - very lengthy voice mails. Okay how many of your friends leave voice mails nowadays, eh? The funny thing is I never taught my kids to leave voice messages, they figured it out themselves. They love technologies, anyway. Once they played with my iPhone, messed up with the display until I couldn't even slide and it took me 2 hours to figure out what has been changed and how to reset it. Then they played PES on their desktop until the windows was corrupted. Had to format that desktop *Fuh* nasib baik mak dia celik IT. With the desktop down, they've been using my netbook.Aiyyoyo....

School holidays can be really trying and tiring to mothers like me. Besides all the headaches, parents have to also plan for their holiday activities like Summer Camp (kat Malaysia semua cuti sekolah time summer), tuition s, religious classes, picnics, visiting Petrosains again and again, visiting Toys r Us again and again.

We're not travelling this school holiday as my leave balance is 0. We'll probably go swimming and walking at the nearest park more often. Since it's hot during the days, we only have between 5-7pm for outdoor activities. Too bad.

Tonight I'm going to crack my head again to come up with more interesting activities for the kids. So far I've given them these assignments:

1. Complete exercise books for BM and BI, Year 3 and 4 (zalim, kan?)
2. Read English story books, starting with Count of Monte Cristo and King Solomon's Mines
3. Read Malay story books ( I haven't found any good one so far. Might need to go to Minerva soon).

So far the only assignment completed is the one they assigned themselves: getting new toys from Toys r Us. *sigh*

Their English class will start next week. I guess I'll just let them play with the toys and watch as much TV as they wish until then. Hahaha...

It's your choice

2010-11-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

There's no ugly woman in this world, there are few lazy ones who think they're too busy to look beautiful. Many years ago I suffered this cronic disease called 'I'm fat, therefore I must hide.' In 1999 I discovered Ms Read at Jusco One Utama. I bought a blouse and a jacket that year. I still remember the price of the blouse, it was RM80. That was the most expensive blouse I ever bought back then. The jacket was around RM160 after 20% less. Both of them has done a lot to me and my self image. They're still good until today, at times I still wear the jacket, but the blouse is too transparent and since I don't have any suitable inner wear I decided to retire it. Some lucky woman in Cambodia might be wearing it to the market this week, I don't know.

This is not a brand promotion, I'm just sharing my experience as a plus sized woman who was just too tired of the local fashion scene and unavailability of good clothing for big girls.

There was a time when I bought really loose blouses and pants from pasar malam/kedai pakaian hari-hari and even men's wear department just because they fit. Most didn't fit that well, they just made me ugly but comfy.

After 12 years becoming their loyal customer, I've been updating my wardrobe with their collection every quarter. Most people thought my attire was from Marks and Spencer but looked a lot nicer. There's not much variety at M&S outlets here, especially work shirts and slacks. I got my casual clothes from M&S most of the times.

Besides Ms Read, Big Brown Bag is not too bad. Although some of the cuts don't really suit me, but I kinda like their skirts, especially those bias ones. Debenham's work clothes are also quite nice and you can get them at very attractive prices during Malaysia Mega Sales.

All in all, these days big girls in Malaysia have the choice to wear good clothes (though not branded ones like Prada or Gucci). Now there's no more excuse to wear baggy clothes and look like you're attending slumber party.

BTW, I've met the model in the Ms Read advert above in real life and she's really gorgeous. I think she's a size 12. For someone who wears size 16 (and some designs size 18) I'm so proud of her.

My fat clothes

2010-11-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago my friends bought two pants, one her size while the other was one size bigger. Both were the same design and color. I asked her why. She told me the one in her size was for her pretty days, the bigger one was for her fat days.

Ok, that makes sense.

We all have our 'slim jeans' and fat clothes somewhere in the wardrobe. I keep my fat clothes at the farthest corner as I try not to wear them too often. They make us feel complacent, ok and then start to feel lazy to go and exercise.

But that doesn't stop me from buying more fat clothes. They come in very handy on days when I feel too bloated and conscious of my extra KGs (as if those KGs were not there on our pretty days).

So, I bought this black crepe jubah from the same online store I mentioned in my earlier post. It's supposed to be my fat clothes for khenduri. Well, I'm also planning to wear it to khenduris which I know would serve really-really nice food that I might go for 3rd and 4th servings!! Haha, matilamak nak burn calories tu nanti!

So, here's me in my fat jubah on my fat day. Look how slim Mr Hubby is! Jealous, ok!! Arghhh... tomorrow must go to gym and burn 500calories.

Move aside iPad, here comes the Sanitary Pad!

2010-10-27T14:04:00.000+08:00

Sanitary pads have always been a big issue when I was in STF. It’s always highlighted by the HEM and Puan Pengetua during our weekly assembly in the big hall. One can never guess how much trouble sanitary pads can bring. We women (young girls back then) understood that it’s one of our basic necessities but it never occurred to some of us how the mis-management could be disastrous.

It was 1988 when Rentokil first came to the school to brief us all on how to properly dispose our ‘bloody’ sanitary pads. At the beginning of the session, the representative from Rentokil showed us a tiny tampon. Well, I think about 80% of us didn’t even recognize that thing until one of the juniors asked her friend and a few seniors overheard her. The senior answered loudly, ‘Itu tampon la dik, function dia sama macam pad.’

Then the Rentokil representative showed us how the tampon expanded 20 times over after it’s soaked in tap water for more than half an hour. Our usual wide smiles transformed into big 'O's when we saw that. For the next 10 minutes or so we were lectured on how that tiny tampon can cause blockage in the drainage system… yadda… yadda… yadda… I think she didn’t demonstrate how big a normal (or winged) sanitary pad would expand if it’s soaked in tap water, perhaps she didn’t have a big enough container for that experiment.

So, after everyone understood the importance of managing and disposing our sanitary pads properly, the next weekend every toilet in the school was equipped with Rentokil feminine hygiene unit (that’s the pad disposer lah). The dorm prefects were very happy as their headache will be lesser once the girls started to use the thing.

Prior to having Rentokil in our hostel life, I couldn’t really remember how we disposed our pads. I remember having to wash and wrap them nicely with the newspapers we hang nicely in every toilet. The dorm on duty to wash toilet for the week will have to prepare the newspapers for this purpose. I couldn’t remember whether there was a dedicated waste basket for the nicely wrapped pads. But the washing and wrapping issue was raised many times during block meetings especially when some girls were unbelievably forgetful that they left their pads in the toilets and didn’t go through the boring ritual. It was not an easy thing to tackle; educating the new girls were challenging enough and when we found out even some of the seniors did that too, we were left speechless, didn’t know what to do.

Okay, now fast forward to 2010, to the recent UMNO general assembly to be specific. Why did so many people criticized and ridiculed Azura Mohd Afandi, the JB Puteri UMNO chief when she raised the issue of sanitary pad adverts? It’s a huge thing people!!! The disasters sanitary pads could bring can be bigger than KL flash flood or food poisoning cases in hostels.

For open-minded-modern-urban people (guys included), sanitary pad adverts are just adverts – a way to promote a product. You watch it on TV, you know about the product, you’ll buy it if you’re interested and that’s it. It’s not a big deal. Some of the adverts didn’t even register in your head – which brand was that? What’s the pad that features 2 big melons in the advert? Or what’s that pad advert that has people snapping photos of their butt? Well, I couldn’t remember their brands either.

However, we can’t discount the fact that there exist perverts, shallow Hals, people who lacks sex education (hey, most of us are – it’s not part of our school curriculum), sex maniacs and even those with unbelievably advance imaginations. I was told by my primary school friends that some of their uncles could smell women’s period and it turned them on. Wah, I was so scared when I heard about it. How could the smell of blood turn men on? The scariest part was I knew their uncles, and they looked like really nice adults.

During high school, some of our female teachers also reminded us to keep a certain distance from the male teachers when we’re having our period due to the same reason. So, it must be true if that came from our teachers, right? So, everytime we had our period, we had to be extra careful. Don’t stand too close to the male teachers. Don’t walk pass by the male teachers. Don’t give them any clue that you’re having your period. If you buy pads from the co-op, make sure it’s wrapped with dark papers before putting them in the plastic. And when we were younger (form one and form two) we were told not to mention that we’ve already reached puberty. During that innocent age, we just obliged. Being the good girls we were, we never questioned the instructions given by our female teachers – Ustazahs especially.

However, when I grew up and thought about that, hey something must be very wrong with our society. What is the problem with women having our regular menses? It’s fitrah what? Why can’t men deal with it and accept it as just another normal thing like feeling hungry or sleepy. Those are also fitrah manusia.

Whether we like it or not, discussions on puberty, menstruation period, sanitary pads and anything related to women reproduction system is still very much a sensitive thing in our society. Some mothers and grandmothers still consider them as taboo. Actually I’d love to see reactions from very traditional men who live in the remotest kampong in this country when they watch the sanitary pad advert that features the two melons. They might be disgusted, tickled to their bones or suddenly turned on. I don’t know. More experiments need to be done.

In the meantime (while waiting for some NGO that are interested to organize the experiment), I just want to say that there’s nothing wrong with Azura’s speech and the issue she raised. We all came from different upbringing; we look at things differently. The saddest thing is, most of the scenes you watch in the Cerekarama or Telefilm shown in our local TV stations happen in real life. We never know if incest cases or gang rapes were caused by sanitary pad adverts, but perverts and people with uncontrollable raging hormones exist everywhere.

To Azura, we know you meant well but it’s always wiser to support a concern or theory with survey results and analysis, statistics and recognized studies.

Baju baru semangat baru

2010-10-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Starting last quarter I have been attending many meetings at government offices. I usually wore dark pants and cotton work shirts as most of the offices were quite far from the parking spaces provided for visitors.

Sometimes I wore skirts, especially offices where I knew there were some Pak Haji there who won't look at women in pants. (Pants saya adalah made of stretchable material, maka memang nampak agak ketat).

After a while, somehow I felt out of place when I sat down in their huge board room especially on Thursdays and Fridays where everybody would look in their best batiks or baju raya/baju tunang/ baju bertandang. (It's so obvious ok. Sometimes ada aweks yang pakai kebaya with laces and labuci-labuci).

I have been doing some window shopping in the Subang - Shah Alam shopping malls searching for nice looking baju kurung/kebaya. I managed to find 3 pairs of cheap baju kurung from PKNS during Ramadhan (dan secara automatic telah menjadi baju raya). However, I just couldn't affor the nice batik sold at SACC mall. Sepasang can cost you RM2,200 kau! Terjojol bijik mata aku tengok price baju kat satu kedai next to Thomas & Guys tu. They all look really elegant, some even resembles the baju kurung that Kak Ros usually wore to officiate events. (Note: Kak Ros and Big Hair adalah orang yang sama).

One day my friend, Yen from Kelate recommended a friend on FB. I didn't know who she was so I messaged Yen. She told me the girl is a tokey batik and she has some really nice collections of baju kurung, kebaya, jubah and caftan. So, I added her on FB and browse her photo album. Here's her website. Not many pieces are featured in the blog, more pictures can be found on her FB album.
I ordered this baju kurung below:

I liked the batik design immediately. I've seen enough of batik bunga-bunga and daun-daun in those government offices, so this geometrical design really caught my eyes. I booked and then paid for this piece. The parcel arrived two days after I made the online payment.

I told her to post it to my office address as sometimes there's nobody at home during day time. So when the parcel arrived, the receptionist received it. She called me to pick it up during lunch break and she asked me to open it in front of her. Since I was over excited, I ripped the package open and both of us were so impressed with the baju. It's crepe, so it's soft, quite thick and when you wear it, it fell nicely complementing your figure. I loved it immediately. In fact I wore it to office two days later. Hehehehe... First, I thought I was going to wear it for Raya Haji, tapi sebab excited tak hingat, terus pakai pegi office.

I wore it on 20102010, to mark the special date. It really is a beautiful batik piece as I was getting compliments from so many people that day (the picture above actually doesn't do the baju justice sebenarnya). I wore it to Subang Parade and actually jalan betul-betul depan satu kedai baju (which happens to sell baju of the same material - but almost double the price). I noticed a few shoppers were really staring at my baju (or saja-saja staring at me, tak taulah kan...) I caught a thirty something lady who turned to admire my baju a few times while queuing for coffee.

Oh, BTW this baju can be handwashed. No need to dry clean (like my last pair of silk batik which I bought 8 years ago). I am so happy and satisfied that I'm going to buy more. Hooray! Boleh chelen makcik-makcik gomen punya batik dah in the next meeting.

So, if you're interested in baju batik, click the link above and have fun! Selamat rambang mata.

The Slim Jeans Story

2010-10-09T18:55:00.001+08:00

My friends call them slim jeans. I call them checkpoint jeans. Most of my lady friends own at least a pair. Some of them have slim jeans, kebaya, little black dress and tight fitting tops. When we were younger, none of us ever admitted that we've been shopping and decided to grab jeans/dress/tops that was one or two dress size smaller thinking that we might fit wearing it one day.

I've done this since I was in secondary school but only have the guts to share the story with my friends during one of our coffee sessions after I joined the big three-oh club.

I bought a pair of jeans (which was one size smaller) when I was in form 5. It was very difficult wear, I had to wiggle like worms put on a hot tin roof in order to get in and out of my slim jeans. When I finally managed to zip it up, I'd be having breathing difficulties. So, I hung it in my wardrobe and every now and them I'd stare at it and told myself that I must be able to wear that jeans comfortably one day.

Well, that day never came. By the time I got married I still have that jeans stashed somewhere in the store room. I found it one day, tried to wiggle into it but it didn't even pass my thigh. So, I guess I must have outgrown it by 4 dress sizes by then, hehehe..

In 2006, again I bought a pair of jeans which was one size smaller. It was not planned to become another pair of slim jeans. We went to have lunch at KFC restaurant in Shah Alam and Wazif knocked down a cup filled with Mirinda Strawberry on me. My pants was soaked and I had no choice but to run to the nearest clothing store to get another pants. The nearest shop there happened to be Giordano, and they only sold young people's cloth. There was no plus size shop there. I told the shop assistant to find me a man's loose cut jeans. I was lucky I managed to put it on (albeit with great difficulty).

They didn't have anything bigger, so I bought that pair of jeans and wore it right away and put my Mirinda strawberry soaked pants in the shopping bag.
That was the only time I wore it. After a few months I did try to put it on but I couldn't even pull up he zipper.

I was thinking of giving it away, but not sure to who. My brothers are all taller than me and have bigger waists. My hubby has smaller waist. So the Giordano jeans stayed in my wardrobe along with my other plus sized work pants.

After I gave birth last year I gave it another try. Managed to zip up but it was too tight, I couldn't even lift my knees.

Between January and June 2010 I have been going to gym quite regularly and became more conscious of what I ate. My total weight loss during that period was 6kg. My work shirts became loose and I had to box many skirts and pants because whenever I wore them they always fell below my waistline and it was rather uncomfortable.

One Saturday morning, we were rushing to go out for breakfast. I just grab the first pants hanger I found in my wardrobe. My wardrobe desperately needed some lighting as I couldn't tell my dark coloured clothes one from another. So, I just put on the jeans I took out, zip it up and walked out of my room to find my tudung I left in the ironing room. Now this room is facing sunrise and it's always very bright in the morning. Then I realized the colour of my jeans. I thought I put on one of the Marks and Spencer's stretchable jeans, but I only had them in dark blue and black. The one I had on was indigo. So, I turned around and checked the label on my back. It was THAT Giordano jeans! Well, what I did next was soooooo predictable. I quickly ran into my room and took out my old measuring tape to get another confirmation that I was in fact SMALLER by one dress size. Hehe.. It was so funny as my topic of conversation for that whole week revolved around 'my slim jeans that finally fits'. I wore that same jeans for 3 weeks before I decided to wash it (and I prayed hard it wouldn't shrink the moment I took it out of the washing machine).

So, my dear lady friends.... keep those slim jeans/LBD/top/kebaya and try them on at least once a month. You'll be motivated to work out and eat healthily. I know how good it felt when they finally fit.

The losing big program starts (again) today...

2010-09-27T16:55:00.000+08:00

I was having a serious discussion about losing all the fat accumulated during puasa and Raya with my colleague this afternoon .... in front of two large plates of pasta at Italiannies. It was either the conversation or the bread we had before the main course that we didn't manage to finish our pasta, so had to pack them. I'll be having those healthy pasta for dinner tonight. Besides the cheese, I consider pasta a healthy choice for lunch and dinner (and sometimes breakfast.. hehe).

We were discussing the best places for running. My colleague preferred the Kiara Park at TTDI while I had to be happy with running on the treadmills. My neighbourhood is not so safe for jogging and there's no recreational park in Puchong. The nearest is in Bukit Jalil.

Then we went on and on and on about the sinful foods we had during raya. My colleague was complaining that she became tired easily now and could feel her fitness level had gone down a few notches. While I could feel the extra fat building up around my mid section and thighs. I didn't dare taking my own measurement since Ramadhan, I knew I've gained whatever that's lost back in June 2010. However, the funny thing is, my weight maintains. I suspect I've also lost some of the muscles I built a few months back in all those BodyCombat and BodyPump classes. How sad...

So, now it's time to start working out and eating right again. Starting again is just as difficult as starting to be health conscious the first time. We have to take the same route but might not start at the same point. There's renewed commitment to ourselves and closer monitoring this time.

And, as if it was a sign from God, when we were walking towards the AutoPay station, I saw one of Biggest Loser Asia's participants from the first season (I think he's one of the finalists) walking with his family. I was quite sure it was him because he has this really sweet smile which was easy to recognize. However, I was surprised looking at his body. I remembered he managed to lose quite a lot of weight during the final weigh-in. Looking at him this afternoon, I thought he's gained about half of whatever he's lost back then. My colleague didn't notice him when I asked whether she saw the guy. So, I was left wondering all by myself. The BLA Season 1 ended less than a year ago... what has happened to this guy? If I slack, am I going to be just like him? Oh noooo... all the hardwork would go down the drain.... Yikes!

With that worry and realization, I committed to myself that I AM going to the gym this afternoon, right after work. Good thing is, my boss isn't here to call me up for late meetings that might take my gym time. Hooray!!!

My last day of cuti and my aching back

2010-09-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

Huwarrghhh !!! Esok keje!

Didn't managed to write about my raya stories in the previous entry as I suffered a terrible backache since 2 days ago. I don't remember exactly how it started but I've been having stiff neck and left arms for a few days. Since Zarif was sick, he had high fever and he only wanted me to carry him. So, I have been carrying him around the house day and night. Even when we went back to kampung, he was stuck with me, in my arms. He can be very demanding when he's not feeling well.

So, after more than 4 days of carrying him around (he's about 11kg now), my body started to complain. The stiff neck and left arm lasted for 2 days. When Zarif started to show a lot of improvement (the kudis was gone and no more fever) we decided to spend one late afternoon playing football and his brothers cycled in front of the house. I was kicking the ball against the wall when suddenly a shot of pain on my back stopped me from moving. A few seconds later, I felt ok. So, I pushed Zarif's stroller for a 200 meter walk before I started jogging. I was also racing with Wazif and Shawqi until it was almost Maghrib.

After taking a quick shower, I tried to reach for my towel when another sharp pain almost made me scream in the toilet. I couldn't stand up straight after that. It took me a few minutes just to towel myself and get out of the bathroom. I tried sitting on the edge of my bed, but the pain worsened. Then I decided to walk slowly towards my wardrobe, took out my clothes and also the back support I was wearing when I was pregnant last year. I managed to stand up straight and walked after putting on the back support .

I went to prepare dinner and had a few guests that night. I could walk around the house, did the usual chores but I couldn't lift Zarif. I couldn't even bend over to pick up things lying on the floor.

After the guests left, I decided to lie down and straightened my body. That night I slept with the back support on. For the next two days I couldn't bend over or sit for a long time, or walk normally. I didn't dare to carry Zarif. He was seeking for my attention (as usual) but I had to ask his brothers to play with him and Mr Hubby to take care of him.

This afternoon I went to see the doctor and she inspected my back. She pressed on a few points, the left side of my butt hurt the most, I gasped when she found the spot. Later she confirmed it's caused by tensed muscle. When I told her about carrying Zarif, the stiff neck and left arm she told me she'd prescribe me with some muscle relieving medicines.

After the long chit chat with the Doctor, I left her room, collected my meds and paid at the counter. Just when I was about to reach home I remembered that I FORGOT TO ASK FOR MC for tomorrow. Yikes, I'll have to go to office and walk like Robocop tomorrow!!!! Haiyyaaaa!!!

Of 2010 Raya, Zarif kekudisan and our 10th anniversary...

2010-09-17T14:46:00.000+08:00

Pictures first, stories later sebab makcik rushing nak kena pegi Giant nih... hehehehe...

Family photo taken on 3rd Raya before we started journey back to Bera.

Candid Photo taken on 1st Raya after Aidilfitri prayers.

The children monkeying around at Busu's place on the 2nd Raya

Zarif's chin kena kudis

Zarif's chin improved a lot after seeing Dr Ali @ SDMC

Our 10th wedding anniversary celebration @ Figs & Olive (translated: At-tiini wazzaituuun)

Esok hari raya!

2010-09-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

Kitorang ada kat Puchong lagi sebab tahun ni tak balik Pahang first raya. Besok raya, maka rancangannya nak pegi Melaka lepas solat raya. Sepatutnya hari ni nak masak-masak apa yang patutlah kan. Tapi dari pagi tadi Zarif asyik merengek je, dia selesema dan asyik nak gigit barang-barang (dan orang). Mesti nak keluar gigi lagi ni. Dia taknak duduk main dalam cot dan taknak jugak main dengan toys dia kat lantai. Asyik berdukung je ke hulu ke hilir.

Oleh sebab itu, maka saya tidaklah dapat memasak hari ni. Nenek Zarif tengah masak sorang-sorang kat dapur. Pagi tadi dah pegi Pasar Borong Selangor, shopping bahan mentah. Tadi dah suruh Wazif pegi tolong, tapi dia pegi turun bawah terus melekat depan TV. Shawqi lagi bagus, terus main game tak hingat punya.Nasib baik nenek diorang nak masak rendang dengan nasik himpit je, bolehlah handle sorang kot. Kalau nak masak aneka rupa makanan raya, memang tak menang tanganlah kalau camni.

Tadi lepas mengamuk-ngamuk tiba-tiba Zarif tertidur (hahahaha... tiba-tiba la pulak kan...). Mesti dah terover penat tu. Dia tidur, mak dia pun bukak Netbook. hahahaha.... tak jugak pegi tolong nenek dia masak.Bau rendang dah semerbak dah kat seantero rumah ni. Kejap lagi settle lah tu. Yeay, petang karang boleh beli lemang tepi jalan. Berbuka makan lemang, nasi himpit dengan rendang cadangnya.

Tapi, untuk dua-dua orang abang Zarif ni, gerenti kena beli benda lain. Diorang ni tak berapa reti makan semata-mata ketupat atau lemang. Mesti nak makanan yang betul-betul heavy, contohnya burger daging special (heavy ngan calories la tu...)

Zarif bangun kang nak bawak dia pegi klinik kejap sebab ubat selesema & demam dah nak abis. Macam gini lah kalau budak duduk kat day care. Dalam sebulan mesti dua tiga kali kena selesema. Banyak betul bacteria kat day care tu gamaknya, tak hilang-hilang.

Lepas pegi klinik nanti nak pegi IKEA kejap (isy, sempat lagi nak pegi melabur duit kat IKEA). Bukan apa, lampu tidur kat bilik ni pecah. Dah tua dah lampu ni. Hubby beli 4-5 tahun sebelum kitorang kawin dulu. Memang dah tua pun. Memang patut dia me'retire'kan dirinya. Maka, petang ni kena pegi cari lampu tidur baru. Harap-harap jalan tak jammed dan IKEA lengang.

Doa-doakan tak tiba-tiba 'terbeli' perabot sampingan pulak kat IKEA tu nanti. Haippp!!! Ingat credit card statement terbaru. Walaupun jauh lagi nak exceed limit, tapi figurenya sudah boleh bikin jiwa kacau kalau fikir-fikirkan... hehehe.

Selamat Hari Raya uols! Bawak kereta jangan emosi, ok. Many Malaysian drivers are stupid, so I hope you are the smart ones.

Akhir kata, terimalah pantun 4 kerat saya ini:

Raya pertama cover 10 rumah,
Jumpa sedara setahun sekali;
Raya ketiga janganle muntah-muntah,
Kalau food poisoning, sakitnya hati.

Bawak kereta jangan berlumba,
nyawa kita ni tak ada tukar ganti;
Kalau terasa bengang, bawak-bawak ketawa,
Driver lain bawak keta macam sial, tapi kita mesti tenangkan hati.

Beli baju raya sampai lapan pasang,
sutera, satin, crepe, cotton tak tinggal;
Simpan duit raya tu jangan hilang,
Kalau pokai lepas raya, jangan menyesal.

Bila raya kemain gembira,

belasah semua lemang, ketupat;

lepas raya pegi gym semula,

memang menangis nak turunkan berat.

Apa-apa hal, kita raya dulu!!!! Peace!

Pesanan special sempena nak raya

2010-09-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

Okay, korek punya korek punya korek.... ini satu je gambar yang aku jumpa yang ada muka lima-lima orang (dan posing agak senonoh). Take note: must snap more family pictures this raya. Selalunya, bila nak snap gambar, asyik-asyik muka Wazif ngan Zarif je yang banyak. Memang gila glamer dua-dua orang ni.

Family picture kat Avondale Rd. Lancaster. June 2010.

Maka bersempena dan ramai orang berduyun-duyun balik bercuti di kampung ni, saya ada beberapa pesanan penting (kalau nak buat checklist pun boleh) supaya hari raya kita lebih meriah dan happening:

1. Baju raya yang nak pakai kat kampung tu biarlah yang tahan lasak. Sila strike out silk kaftan dari list anda... hahaha. Ada harapan boleh tersangkut kat buluh lemang tu.

2. Kalau anak-anak tanya mana bunga api tahun ni, cakap kat diorang bunga api ngan mercun sekarang ada banyak radioaktif. Kalau diorang tak tau apa tu radioaktif, boleh tunjuk gambar mangsa bom kat Hiroshima & Nagasaki dulu.

3. Kalau tidur kat rumah kampung tu tidur berselerak kat ruang tamu, pastikan position anak bini anda yang sebenarnya so that, kalau bangun pegi toilet malam-malam takde lah confuse nak tidur semula kat sebelah mana.

4. Masa on the way balik kampung, memang mengantuk bila drive sorang-sorang. Jadi, tukar-tukar pilot & co pilot setiap jam. Boleh? Hehe...

5. Mari tukar duit shilling kat bank untuk tahun ni. Dah boring lah letak duit kertas dalam green packets tu. Kalau duit shilling ada sound effect sikit.

6. Kepada kanak-kanak yang datang beraya semata-mata nak duit raya, kalau boleh lepas bagi salam semua berdiri tegak dalam barisan kat luar pintu pagar. Senang sikit nak bagi lima posen sorang. Sapa yang mengaku dia nak makan kuih je boleh masuk dalam dok kat kerusi (ya Allah, zalim jugak aku ni..)

7. Cara untuk mempastikan ketupat dan lemang sentiasa fresh dan tidak basi ialah dengan memasak lemang/ketupat yang baru pada malam raya pertama, kedua, ketiga, keempat dan seterusnya sehinggalah semua sedara mara dah kembali bekerja dan tak larat nak beraya.

8. Pada hari raya ketiga, juadah yang paling afdhal disediakan untuk menjamu tetamu ialah Nasik Lemak dan roti canai. Gerenti ramai orang datang.

9. Pada hari raya keempat, budak-budak semua dah mengidam nak makan KFC, sebab dah muak tengok ketupat/lemang/rendang. Maka orderlah KFC beberapa barrel untuk hari tersebut.

10. Jangan cuti raya lama sangat kat kampung, takut nanti ada pakcik/makcik yang sound, "ko ni dah kena buang keje ke hapa? Lama sangat cuti nya..."

Eh, aku sempat tulis 10 pesanan je ni sebab dah nak kena pegi masuk meeting. Yaaaaaa..... saya masih bekerja. Selagi tak keluar muka penyimpan mohor besar Raja-Raja kat TV tu, selagi itulah saya akan bekerja.

Drive safely dan jangan nakal-nakal.