Thursday, August 16, 2007

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your girlfriend

Caution: Another perasan entry from Makcik. Get your puke bucket, fast!

The title has got nothing to do with the entry. It’s my morning alarm song, which is so ineffective; I always wake up an hour after it goes off.

On Wednesday night, I was staying at a Hostel in Sabak Bernam for some hardware installation work. The Hostel has ASTRO but no AXN. When I realized it I was like, ‘Oi! TV is useless without AXN.’ Yeah, really felt like filling the TV with water, put it on my head and walk barefoot across the desert. So, no CSI lah. Aiyyayai…

After I was done bloghopping (yeah, they have really fast internet connection in the Hostel Room – 2 network ports on the wall, some more!) I switched on the TV and ‘Jangan Tidur Lagi’ was airing.

When I saw Azwan’s MATA LALAT spec and his ear piercing ‘serak-serak karat’ voice, I decided to change the channel, but then I saw the guests for the night were Amani and Datuk CT; I changed my mind. No, I was more like too stunned to press the TV remote button. I just couldn’t believe my eyes; Datuk CT has become so fleshy I thought she looked like me!!!. Huh? (Hehehehe… ke perasanan yang di luar kawalan! As if I was ever slim like Datuk CT.)

One of the hosts, Adlin si mulut-takde-insurance asked a few questions related to her weight. Datuk CT didn’t seem to be bothered at all. She was like, ‘Yeah, I know …. I realized that I’m getting fatter. La la la la la la….’ Of course she didn’t ‘la la la la’ on the show but the way she answered the questions showed that she didn’t really mind having those extra Kgs.

Hmmmm… maybe I should post her some of my pictures and tell her,
‘Datuk, if you don’t do something about it, this is how you’re going to look like soon.’

Frankly speaking, I’m not that worried that she’ll lose her fans or her contracts with Maybelline/WhateverShampoo/Jusco/Hotlink etc will not be renewed. I’m afraid that one fine day, as Datuk CT was strolling along Taman KLCC, happily licking her Baskin Robbins, with a green sling bag from Tropicana Life, baggy EIC shirts, baggy Ms Read pants and of course a pair of really comfy Crocs, somebody would approach her and ask,

‘Hey, will you be free next week to write a technical review on Oracle Database 11g?’

I will be so pissed off, okay. Abislah periuk nasik I! (Ok, keperasanan di tahap Gaban… I know… I know!)

The worst thing that could happen (if Datuk CT becomes fatter) is that people would mistake her for me. Heh….tak caya? Isy, I wish I could have a Photoshop expert manipulate both our pictures to prove that.

Well, if you’ve met me in person you’ll realize the similarities between Datuk CT and me. Okaylah, I list some of them here.

Datuk CT is about 5 ft 5 inch.
- me too
Datuk CT has (almost) flawless, fair, porcelain skin
- me too
Datuk CT orang Pahang
- Me too
Datuk CT has dimples
- Me too
Datuk CT speaks with noticeable Pahang accent
- Me too
Datuk CT has bubbly personality
- Me too
Datuk CT has childish/girlish laugh
- Me too
Datuk CT has black, straight hair
- Me too
Datuk CT wears T-shirt and sarong at home
- Me too
Datuk CT has big butts
- Me too

Okay, at least there are 10 similarities, people. So imagine if she gains the additional 27 Kgs (which is the difference between us now). She will look exactly like me. By then, I hope I don’t get chased by promoters, event management people or recording company lah pulak, kan. Hahahaha.


david santos said...

I come to congratulate you with your work and to desire a good Month to you of August in vacation. In Portugal already we walk for beaches and to live the heat of the Summer.

hanazie wc said...

OMG! this is perasan entry tahap gaban. get me a puke bucket. pronto!

nachos said...

i think you blog has attracted or captured a virus or something like that (i donno whether my words are correct or not, most likely not, because never in my life have i mastered the IT language). why? because there is one comment b4 hanazie. please check.

Da Winged Acrophobic said...

I'm quite decent with Photoshop. Boleh tolong? Heheheheheheh. Kelakar la you. Can you sing? nachos is right, some bizarre comment the first one....

AM said...

hahaha comella!!!

D.N.A.S said...

thanks for dropping by. It's fruity season now in Malaysia.

mop takde tau. Kalau muntah, kau kena cuci sendiri. Haha!

bukan virus la. Mamat tu memang wujud. Dia memang selalu bersosial kat blog orang Melayu.

winged acrophobic,
I can sing? Caaaaaaan. From R&B to dangdut, I can do! Nanti tolong photoshopkan gambar I, ok.

makasih... makasih!

Datuk CT comel
- Me too!

nachos said...

dnas..takdela kau..aku dah perasan byk kali dia menjelma di blog kengkawan kita (aku kena cakap melayu semua le ni). dan ulasan yang diberi selalunya tak berkenaan.

cikPijah said...

hihihih... who knows kann... puuuhhhh CT will gain all the 27kg! puuuhhhh!!! hihihi.. nanti u dah bz ke sana sini menyanyi la berlakon la.. attend events la.. jgn lupa pasal oracle db tu plak eh :p

Da Winged Acrophobic said...

Aisey.... minta maaf kat kawan you David Santos tu. Direct translation from Portugese, patut la.

D.N.A.S said...

mamat tu memang suka ber'cyber-social'. Topic dia memang agak general la dan selalunya takde kaitan dengan kita punya entry. Tapi setau aku dia bukan penyebar virus sebab dulu Kak Ruby pernah mintak dia translate ada satu poem ni, dia betul-betul buatkan.

Cik P,
I kan.... dunia glamer ni sebenarnya kureng sikitlah. Kalau kena ke sana ke mari, anak-anak Makcik tu sapa nak jaga pulak?

winged acrophobic,
isy, sempat you research pasal dia? I rasa dia guna online translator kot.

Spena said...

moral of the story here....OMG look what had happened to you when you don't have AXN! Perasan giler...please make sure next time all the place you stay has AXN, ok!

all jazzed up said...

dnas... OMG betulla.. ada iras2 datuk CT....maybe datuk DNAS in future? btw, do you wear tshirt and sarong at home???? macam tak caya je!!!!

D.N.A.S said...

ok spain, that also translate to minimizing travelling lah kot. Hehe.

betul, aku pakai t-shirt and sarong kat rumah. Potong rumput kat laman pun pakai camtu. Apatah lagi time membasuh pinggan. memang aku ni kategori gadis Melayu ayu pemalu... hahahaha.

Leilanie said...

you kelakar habih.
Tadi I rasa kan.......
Kalau you kurus macam Dato' CT when she was..... you know .... young ... hee hee..... pasti Dato Mat Misai semua syiok kat you!

Sememangnya.... senyuman manis mu lebih manis dari Datuk CT.
hee hee hee.

D.N.A.S said...

alamak, sangat mengembang... kerusi tak muat. kena duduk bersila atas meja office nih... hehehe.

Itu Datuk Mat Misai tak mungkin akan memandang I punya sebab my bank balance ciput aje...

Nour said...

gelak tergolek-golek I baca blog entry you ni..hehehe!

D.N.A.S said...

musim durian ni. Baik-baik kalau nak bergolek tu.Hehehe. Happy Monday!

ardy said...

Err... boleh mintak autograph tak (sambil tersipu-sipu kemaluan)

heheh ;)

D.N.A.S said...

boleh.... boleh, no problemo!

Angel Eyes said...

Mengapakah dia semakin gemuk lah? Tak pegi gym ker?

*kerling Dee.. kita kan gi gym!*

D.N.A.S said...

dia ada gym kat rumah. So, kita tak tau dia exercise ke tidak. Hihihi.