In 10 minutes

Note: this blog entry was typed non-stop within 10 minutes. Please forgive any typo you spot


Ok, let's see what I can come up with in just 10 minutes. How many words I can produce in this page, given only 10 minutes? I don't know yet. Let's wait till the 10 minutes is up. I can never write a poem in just 10 minutes. A pantun, perhaps? Nah, I'm not in the mood to compose a pantun. You need to have some motivation before you can compose pantun or syair. Eh, who the hell still write syair these days? I haven't seen any syair being published by the newspapers or magazines for god knows how many years already.
So, do you think our syair is dying? Do our children appreciate syair? Do they know how to compose one? Do they know that long long time ago, people in love would recite syair by the window at night while gazing at the full moon, wishing that their loved ones were near?
If syair is dying, then what ever happened to our seloka and gurindam? I don't know how to compose neither. Pantun dua kerat and empat kerat are the only Malay poem I learned in school. Even then, back in the 90s many of my friends were not interested in composing pantuns. It was difficult when you need to think of pembayang and maksud. Well, the first two lines are called pembayang although they don't membayangkan anything, while the last two lines are called maksud. Those 2 lines are the only thing that matters. Usually the pembayang is full of unrelated things like bunga seroja kembang mewangi, pucuk labu tumbuh melata, junjung sirih teguh kayunya. I still don't understand how we can call that as pembayang. Ah, I'm no expert. I only learned about pantun in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps, 100 years ago, it was taught differently. People really know how to write the pembayang and how to relate them to the maksud of the pantun. These days, some of us have never heard of the objects mentioned in old Malay pantuns' pembayang.
Besides pantun, syair, seloka and gurindam I have no idea what are the other legacies that have died their natural deaths. Language and art are so dynamic and we lost a few things along the way. Just like we never use words such as sahaya, sayugia and even sementelah in our conversation or formal letters anymore. Languages are changing and people too. When was the last time a friend call you up just to ask how you're doing? Everytime the phone rings, I knew that caller was going to ask something from me. It's never just simple 'Buat apa tu?' or 'Apa khabar?'
Well, what to do. My 10 minutes is up! And I managed to put down some ramblings today. Hehe.

From high BP to brain drain issue

In 2008 I was having high BP and cholesterol problem. I did blood test, then the doctor prescribed medicines to lower my cholesterol level. When I got pregnant in Dec 2008, my blood pressure returned to normal unexpectedly which the doctor found it quite unusual. Most women my age would have higher BP during pregnancy but my in my case it was the opposite.

I was very happy as my BP remained within the normal range throughout 2009 and 2010. However, two months ago it went up again. I went to see the doctor when I had one of my gastric attacks and she made a remark that I was already at Stage 1 of hypertension.

I was unhappy mainly because I’ve been cautious with what I ate and regularly exercised. The only thing I don’t have luxury to do is getting enough sleep because Zarif still wakes up a few times at night, sometimes for feeding and most of the times he’s uncomfortable because of the heat.

We can’t put the air conditioning on high because of his asthma problems and we definitely won’t turn the ceiling fan on at night. So, he would usually wake up at least twice at night and since I’m not the type that can easily go back to dreamland, I end up getting about 4 – 5 hours of sleep only, which is so not healthy.

Work pressure could be the other factor. I have to deal with similar depressing things now as in mid 2008. The problems and the people are so similar that it felt like Déjà vu. Well, even when the doctor lectured me also felt like Déjà vu.

Sometimes I wish I could tell people to treat others better so that the number of hypertension cases in the IT industry will be less. Frankly speaking, doing IT is not a difficult job. What make things difficult and bad is always the people. Some are just too ignorant and proud to let engineers like us to negotiate on effort and timeline. Some are just plain stupid to even understand what’s going on.

The country is facing brain drain because most workers don’t go through proper skills development programs. So, the claims made about our best workers have gone to migrate to work and live in more developed countries are not completely true. After so many years of moaning and sulking over those professionals who became specialists in foreign land, it’s about time to look inwards and invest more in the resources we have in the country.

I’m not a teacher and was never involved in the local education scene but the first thing I’d do to ensure we have quality workers is to raise the bar for SPM grading. When A only stands for Average, we’ll only produce Average professionals in their respective fields. When people tell me about their nephews or nieces getting 12 or 13 As for SPM, I seriously don’t know how to react. If we’ve been having 20- 40% of the students getting straight As for SPM, then why are we still having this brain drain issues?

We all know the answer. The students aced their SPM papers because of spot questions that can be obtained so easily and memorizing past years’ exam answers. This is not only happening to SPM students, the trend continues in universities as well. Even lab results, assignments and tutorial answers can simply be copied from seniors.

So, how are we going to be an innovative nation when everything is being copied over and over again?

BYOB

Before BYOB became the famous acronym for Bring Your Own Bag in Selangor, it was mainly used for Be Your Own Boss. There were a few books on this, I think and they were all Best Sellers about 6 or 7 years ago. I flipped through one of this BYOB books at MPH many times but was not really interested to buy as I was afraid the book would end up collecting dust on my bookshelf. Didn't have much time to read back then. The best thing I could do was read as many chapters I could at the book shop. Then came back again a few days later to read a few more. In the end, I didn't buy any of the BYOB books. 

Since it's a self help book, it did a lot to influence my tiny mind. I started thinking on what I should do next in life that can make me a happier and more content person. I was famous for being unhappy and unsatisfied with everything, in other words - tak reti bersyukur. LOL. 

So, the book was quite an eye opener when I realized that I was unhappy because I was not doing the things I really enjoyed or perhaps I was not surrounded by people with positive energy. BYOB encourages people to be independent, be an entrepreneur, do what you love most and hopefully you'll live a happier life. 

Makcik Gemuk's Chicken Chop Restaurant operating hours. 

It got me thinking, what business would suit me most? What did I love doing most? Did I have what it took to become an entrepreneur? If I were to be my own boss, my business hours would be like the above notice. Will I ever be successful or end up with piling debts?

I made a 5-year plan back then, it was 2004. I didn't really know what business I wanted to start. One of my ex-colleagues shared some info on Franchising opportunities. I glanced through the list and made a point to research further but knowing me, I didn't do any follow up on that because I suck at following up on anything. Even on my own Credit Card balance.

So I didn't start any franchise business. Had a few sessions of brainstorming with my friends on starting up an IT consulting company but since we were so aware of the local IT scene - and how frustrating it was to small Bumi consulting companies, we scraped the idea before any paper work started.

In the end I just changed job. From one System Integrator to another. I continued working as an IT engineer. The first 3 years was a lot of fun as I got to do technical hands on works. Becoming IT Project Engineer again after more than 2 years locked up in boardroom was so refreshing as it was something I enjoyed.

However my happiness didn't last long as I was put back in the management line about 2.5 years ago. I'm not a manager, but I'm doing people management work, which I really suck at and I hate it wholeheartedly. I'd rather deal with the biggest, heaviest, most complex machine on earth than to have to manage people. I find it difficult to talk to certain type of people when I'm at my best when I can communicate in syntaxes. My interpersonal communication doesn't reflect my writing ability.

I can write essays, technical reports, long winding emails, formal letters and sometimes even short stories but once I'm told to confront an engineer who is constantly missing his deadline, I'm just tongue-tied. Finding Unix commands is a lot easier than finding the right words to advice people. And I just suck at that too and ended up making a few enemies and losing a few team members. When the management announced that we're not getting increment this year, it made me ask myself, 'Are all these worth it? Am I going to be happy with these?'

Happier times - updating server IP list. Hahaha...

With all that dilemma and mountains of spreadsheets I have to work on, I find myself unhappy with the things I'm doing now. A few months ago, I was back on the drawing board - working on my next 5-year plan.
Will update you later on the results.
Not sure what will materialize - but it's definitely going to be shocking.

Note: First Picture was Googled. Second Picture was from Uncle Darren's camera.

This Ramadhan I pray that the world will become a better place

Do you know that so many things are just not right happening right in front of our eyes. Some people are making babies out of wedlock and proud of it and don't seem to worry about not being married to each other. Take Brangelina for example. Then, some people are fighting so hard to get married although they know it's against the law and nature. Take gay couples for example. (I'm against gay marriage in case I haven't written about it here.)

Do you know that in every 5 second a child dies of hunger in this world? It might or might not happen right in front of our eyes, but hey we're too ignorant to notice that there are families in a state like Selangor, Pahang and Kelantan who are not well fed. Remember there was a story about a family who had kangkung for every meal? They couldn't even afford to buy rice. Luckily they were living near the swamp so supply of kangkung was aplenty.

We might not be able to do much about Brangelina and gay marriages but we all can do something about saving the people from hunger. It's quite simple. This Ramadhan, let's not buy too much food from the bazaar and end up feeding the trash bin. The colorful kuih and aromatic ayam percik are very difficult to resist once you step into the Ramadhan bazaar area. However, this year let's learn a few new things.

1. New way of thinking. My body doesn't need that much food. Although I've been fasting since 5.45 a.m this morning, I only need the usual amount of calories. Plain rice + fried chicken + 1 popia + a glass of syrup + tamar should be enough.

2. My kids might not have the same taste. Let's ask them first before buying these kuih for the whole family.

3. I'm bringing 3 small food containers (or mangkuk tingkat) to the bazaar. I will not buy anything packed in plastic. When my food containers are full, I'll stop buying food.

4. I've had too much meat, chicken and rice throughout the year. Let's have more vege during Ramadhan. Gado-gado would be nice.

5. I want to try the food at the mosque today. I'll be there from Maghrib until terawih.

There are many other simple things you and I can do to minimize wasted food during Ramadhan. All our unnecessary spending will only cause high demand in food supply from various parts of the world. During Ramadhan, of course there will be a surge. If all our family members are getting so used to wasting food, the demand will become consistent and later causes increase in price. So, when this happens, what about those poor countries that can't afford to import expensive food supply? And what will happen to the poor people who can't even afford to buy bread?

I don't think kangkung can grow easily in Sudan.

I'm not writing this to sabotage the blooming food industry in the country (especially during Ramadhan). This is just a humanitarian related entry. Excessive buying only creates unnecessary demand. Some parties will make profit but we have to think about those who are indirectly becoming victims.

Another thing, what's your take on Ramadhan buffet? I've checked-out the prices in the local newspapers and my suggestion is to stay away from them. This year the price ranges from RM69++ - RM99 ++ per pax. If you are anything like me, I can't even finish a RM9.90 nasi beriyani.

Again, I'm not writing this to sabotage any hotel (but please read this blog entry if you love eating at hotel restaurants so much). It's just that Ramadhan buffet in this country is bringing us closer to the evil. Overpriced and wasteful, it's so against the syarak. What I hated most is when these hotels served cendol, it's made of packed santan. I paid RM69 ++ for cendol made of packed santan???? WTH.

Having said all these, I have to tell you that I'm not another victim this Ramadhan because I'll be in confinement. Hehehehe. Good luck to you and your nafsu, people! Have a blessed Ramadhan.

It’s International Women’s Day and I’m getting discounts everywhere…

During the whole month of March, many stores are offering really good discounts to women like me (who took all the trouble filling up their membership forms). I am surely going to be doing a lot of shopping this month. In a way, I’m going to help a few businesses bounce back despite the economic slowdown. There’s no strong enough reason for us to stop shopping especially when the things we usually buy are necessities. Bags, slippers, sandals, pumps, cosmetics, perfume, clothes, accessories – they are all our basic daily needs besides food and coffee.

The fact that I’m going to freeze my gym membership until early 2010 means I’ll have extra $$ every month to be spent. What great news to all tokey kedai!

Ever since the media started feeding us with scary news on the world going into recession and many people are losing their jobs, how many people have told you to stop shopping and start saving? I hope I am the first person to tell you to continue shopping as usual. No, we’re not a bunch of inconsiderate, stupid, selfish bimbos. This is one way of helping to ensure that many more people can keep their jobs.

Why the people in manufacturing industry lose jobs? Because there is now less demand for goods such as electrical appliances.
Why the people in automotive industry lose jobs? Because many people decided not to buy cars because they’re afraid they’ll not be able to repay the monthly installment.

It’s not that these people (read: us) all have ran short of money. Everybody just decided to set aside a lot more than usual – in Fix Deposits maybe? And how is FD going to help turn the current economic situation around? I don’t know, I’m not a subject matter expert.

All I know is that if I continue to buy blouses from this shop I frequent since 1999, the makcik-makcik and kakak-kakak working in the factories can keep their jobs and bring back enough food for their children.

So, continue on shopping my dear friends – women of the world. Create the demand. If you decided to buy more trust fund units and shares today there’s no guarantee you can get short term returns. It might take 10 years – that’s if the world economy recovers at an impossible speed. (All the financial experts reading this blog please contest this. I was just making a wild guess).

To all the husbands, boyfriends and fathers out there please encourage the ladies in the house to spend as usual. It won’t do you any harm. It might help you keep your current jobs.

When Comment Moderation Is Not an Issue

I know I have a few tags to do but I have to get this message through first.

Notice a new link in my blogroll? That’s the controversial P1ahZad0ra’s which was mentioned by Sarcy in her blog two weeks ago. I first read this blog out of curiosity as it was condemning a few female bloggers I know in real life.

We wouldn’t know for sure whether all the writing is true or mere allegations. The blog owner could be anyone, I couldn’t guess who. One thing for sure the blogger has been in the blogosphere for quite sometime. Some of the blogs mentioned are now defunct but I remember reading them back in 2004/2005. Whoever the blogger is doesn’t really matter but the entries and the discussions in the comment box are very interesting and educational

Many male bloggers (females too) are exposed in the entries here. Besides condemning (and giving credits to a few blogs) readers get to learn a thing or two about the reality of blogging life vs real life, something that I don’t really bother keeping updated with for the past few years. For me blogging is just writing and sharing of news and thoughts.

It never occurred to me (or it was just me who preferred to stay in a denial state) that blogs are also used as a platform to hit on girls/guys. Although my dear friend, Jazz ended up marrying another blogger I still couldn’t bring myself to accept the fact that there are many abusers as well.

It’s a good thing these abusers are exposed by P1ahZad0ra and friends. New bloggers, especially girls please note down the blogger IDs mentioned as well as their well known tactics so that you’ll not fall into the trap.

It saddened me to read about how easily the lady bloggers could be fooled by made up stories, almost perfect English and impressive Avatars. I know many women resort to blogging when they are down and rather vulnerable. These guys: opportunists and rather clever (but most of them chickened out once exposed) are giving the blogosphere a really bad name.

Flirting or courting in the cyber space is acceptable as many of the single guys these days are just to shy to approach girls in public – face to face. But when the net is abused by husbands or wives who are seeking ‘extra’ entertainment, it really pisses me off. And it pisses me off even more when the victims are educated, matured females. It's a wonder what loneliness can do to human. I hope all the female victims would come forward and share their experiences (at P1ahZad0ra’s blog, not here, of course) so that we could teach those guys a thing or two. To the guys, remember rule number 1: WOMEN TALK!

Should I say I do?

As I was writing this, I was basking under the shy October sun, in front of OU old wing waiting for Alien and Queen to arrive from the ‘Do It’ island. The Raya month has sucked my energy away and robbed all my inspiration to write on meaningful stuffs (like I ever wrote a lot of them, lah! Hehe).

My concentration level is also suffering because of so much random thoughts floating inside my mind. I kept on wondering about what to cook this weekend, which open house I should attend first, how many I can afford to skip, what not to cook again (after some disastrous misadventures at the kitchen).

Oh I need to learn on how to compartmentalize my mind. Men are good at it while women need to master it slowly. Men are too good at compartmentalizing and categorizing their thoughts that they have problem remembering important dates, our relatives’ names and the color of the blouse we’re wearing today.

Go and ask any guy you know, if he had to pick his spouse up at the train station or a shopping complex, what would be his greatest concern? It’s definitely not about finding his way to the place; I’m sure the guy would know at least 5 alternative routes from Bukit Bintang to KL Central. Instead, the guy would be doing a virtual search in every corner of his brain for the last image of the spouse before she went out that day. He had to know the color and female attire he should be scanning for in the crowd in order to locate his spouse. This information is always stuck in men’s ‘less-important-thing-to-remember’ mind compartment.

To all ladies out there, the cloth you’re wearing is not something a man would really pay much attention to, so let’s not waste too much time in front of the mirror trying out 15 pairs of baju kebaya for a night out with him because he’d be more interested to enjoy your companionship.

It would be better to invest more time and money in polishing your culinary skills, learn how to tell dirty/sexy jokes, watch F1, follow football leagues’ matches or even start reading the sports section.

Appearance is important but these days many men appreciate character and sense of humour more.

Suddenly the Morning Topic at Light.Fm this morning came to mind. It's related to relationship and marriage. There is this genius professor in Washington who came up with a calculus equation that he claims is 94% accurate in determining the fate of your marriage. He also claims that he can use the mathematical method to estimate when a married couple will be divorced.

So, many people called the radio station voicing their disagreement to such test. Most of them insisted that when it comes to matters of the heart, one should follow the heart. Should you think that you’ve found ‘that’ someone, even if both of you decided to take the professor’s test and the result came out negative, that is you’re not compatible with each other, it doesn’t make sense for you to just drop any marriage plan and have a break-up.

Okay, before you read further, please follow this link to read about the test. (Otherwise, I’m sure you’ll be sending me hate mails after you finish reading my posting).

Remember the dialogue in ‘Wedding Crasher’? It’s the one between the father and the first daughter at the florist right before the wedding of the second daughter. The father told the first daughter that people can only make decision based on whatever information they have at present. We’ll never know what will happen in the future. There’s nobody or no tool available that can warn a couple that their relationship will be doomed in a few years’ time. In this movie, the father was advising the first daughter to just follow what her heart says. Hey, that’s exactly what I would tell my friends who are in a similar situation.

However, after reading about this professor’s test I started to think otherwise. During the phase where you’re only seeing the good things in your partner, the mind was subconsciously suppressing any small annoying things that later in the marriage life could be pricking you day and night. Usually big problems in marriages are caused by little things you hate in your partner or things that you failed to adapt to even after years of trying. Big things don’t happen all the time, but the little things can happen 24 times a day and they’re enough to break a relationship.

I’m no expert in this, but if you decided to take that test and the result come out negative, spend some more time with your partners to learn more about them and most importantly, learn more about yourselves. Women are usually worried about whether the men of their choices would love and commit 100% to them after marriage, but how many of us think the other way round? Will we be able to deliver as well?

I’m not against people who only follow their hearts. Marriage is about survival and a big gamble. It’s such a beautiful thing that I don’t think any of us should decide not to go through it at least once in our lives.

Okay, you can send me your hate mails now.

Maybe it's not as complicated as it looks

Starting the week with some reality checks; Seeking Solace's Advices on marriage and The big 'D' entries made me ponder for a while. Marriage is such a serious thing and a very long journey but most of us would like to think of it as a happy ending to a love story.



I always tell myself that marriage should be treated like a smart partnership but personal. Meaning that, we have to find ways to make it work, fruitful, benefit every stakeholder and at the same time giving and receiving the much needed love and attention. Nothing (not even gazzilion dollars) can beat the feeling of going home to the people we love and waking up next to somebody we really care for.



As the marriage progresses, there'll be phases. I'm sure this is written in hundreds of relationship books. The honeymoon phase, the babies-season phase, the schooling-children phase, the children-getting-married phase, the empty-nest phase and lastly the 'senja' phase.



Well, those phases are the ones seen by outsiders. They're physical, people could understand the 'hows' and 'whys' of your actions and emotional state by relating to those phases.



The unseens are, among them: the I-love-you-like-nuts phase, the I-think-there's-something-I-hate-about-you phase, the Why-are-we-not-talking phase, the I-need-space phase, the I-don't-think-you're-doing-enough-for-this-marriage phase, the We-should-do-something-about-this-marriage phase, the I-love-you-like-nuts-again phase and the list can go on until there's no more free space in this Blogger server.



Now that I'm almost 7 years of living as a married woman (yeahoooo my anniversary is just around the corner), I have realized a lot of things. The most important one has to be: We have to understand ourselves before we could fully understand our spouse and the children.



Why is this so important? Because understanding is the key to happiness. (Heh, I know how cliche that sounds, but it's the truth.)



That is the hardest part of any relationship. When we have to stand in front of the mirror and point out our best features as well as weaknesses, it's a tough process. Add some ego and selfishness into the picture, then the process will take years to complete.



It may be easy for some people to advise friends with marital problems to be more mature and rational in handling the situations. Some would just tell them to set their emotions aside just for the sake of the children/in laws/joinedly-owned properties etc. However, in some cases the only solution that will work is to go separate ways, especially for domestic violence cases, extra marital affairs, parasitic hubbies and the ever famous reason: fallen out of love.



Some problems are time healing, if both parties are able to just forgive and forget. However, there are issues that keep on resurfacing even after thousands of kiss-and-make-up sessions. If they can never be forgotten, they are serious issues that will eat the relationship up. It takes a lot of guts to really open up about it, but someday, somebody has to bite the bullet and resolve it once and for all. Or else, it will leave you feeling bitter until the day you die. Some might even reach a breakpoint, burst out all of a sudden and make the whole situation even worse. WORSE would mean, family members from both sides will start to interfere.



Having said all that, I'm no expert in advising people on this marriage thingy. I'm just sharing my thoughts out loud. My learning process is still on-going and yeah, I still make mistakes ... maybe lots of them, maybe not that bad, maybe quite damaging, well I don't know. Sometimes, we thought we're doing the right thing that should benefit the marriage, but it doesn't appear so to the other stake holders. Life is funny sometimes, hehehehe. That's why we have to communicate well.

System Upgrade! *puke*

I will be stuck in one of these buildings until middle of this month. This is one of the moments when I just hate Putrajaya, especially this Precinct where parking is impossible to get (even early in the morning) except the very expensive Secure Parking. The name is Secure, but I can't guarantee how secure it is as there was a robbery case there some time ago. Anyway, it was a 'pukau and samun' case, so can't really blame the parking operator.

I've been working here since last Friday and throughout the weekends. This customer is an account I'm very familiar with, but this time the whole system upgrade thing is so depressing. In the midst of yelling customer, angry users (hey, takde keje, boleh lepak... takkan marah kot?), impatient application engineers and hardware failures, it felt more like a war zone here. And I have to do system config in THIS environment... argh!!! It's just like trying to solve a very complicated differential equation at the 'pasar malam'.

To top up all the madness, the partner suddenly urged me to speed up a few activities. Hello! Project execution plan has been agreed upon and signed off months ago, no way I'm going to cut-short critical activities like these. This is one of the reasons why working in IT really sucks. Many IT managers (from the customer or partner's side) will always give instructions like: "I wanna have this resolved/done by tonight. By hook or by crook, the system must be ready by tomorrow! "

Although we work with machines, we're still humans. It's even sadder when some IT managers have never been in the field before. It's just like somebody from Accounts department being put as Technical Director. Wargh...! Very sickening.

Usually after this kind of madness, I will fall sick. If Boss doesn't allow me some time off, I'll definitely call in sick.

Did I mention earlier that the upgrade tasks require me to be standing in front of the console (which is about waist-high) for hours? After 5 days, every inch of my body is now aching. The worst thing is, I can't sleep well at night. This is going to be my Zombie week!

Three In One

This is one of the postings when I'm cramming so many things into one. That could mean I'm either busy, very busy, extremely busy or just in the mood of cramming things. :)

1) Fish for father

Not my father, my kids’ father. My father passed away in June 1996, when I was still studying. My kids’ father bought me new slippers for father’s day. Hehehe. What ever day it is, it’s always shoes day for women.
We had a quiet celebration at Manhattan Fish Market on Sunday. They had a promotion of a free desert and a family picture taken for us on that special day. Then we went to have a carousel ride. What ever day it is, it’s always ‘horse day’ for the kids. Hehehe.



2) Thank you for the oscar.

I have never had a formal education on presentation skills or public speaking. Nor have I ever been properly trained on speaking or interpersonal communication (personal coaching is very much welcomed here. Hehehe.)
Nevertheless, I’ve done many presentations in front of my customers. Talking is never my specialty. Standing in front of scrutinizing eyes is one of my greatest fears. Bombarded with technical questions (that included stupid questions most of the times) when you’re as good as a brain dead situation sometimes could mean a career suicide to me.
Yet, I braved them all. I’ve even done a technical presentation (that was more like a testimonial sharing) in front of a crowd about 1,000 people at Sunway Convention Center back in 2003. Until today, I still couldn’t believe that I was once on that stage, bluffing all the way. (I hope you’re not one of the audiences then. Yes, I had no idea what I was talking about that day.)
Last week, my manager got me to attend a formal Presentation Skills training for 2 days. I got this Oscar for participating. We jotted down all the important notes on it. There were many techniques being taught in the classroom. By now, I’ve forgotten 90% of them. Hehehe.
At the end of the 2 days, my only conclusion was: What you need most is guts and passion. The rest will come along.



3) The world is filled with bad people

Last month, my neighbor’s house was broken into in broad daylight. They lost some valuables including credit cards and golden accessories. Yesterday morning, while driving my kids to their school, I saw two police patrol cars parked in front of another neighbor’s house; about 10 other neighbor chit chatting with really concerned face outside the gate. It was another robbery.
My house was robbed about 4 years ago when we were out working. I lost my wedding ring, watch and the kids’ piggy banks.
When I came home from gym last night, turned on the TV to watch the prime news, there came terrible news: a husband and a 7 months pregnant wife were brutally murdered in their house. The murderer successfully denied the rights of 3 people to exist in this world. Taking lives as if he was god. I wonder what went on in the murderer’s mind when he/she was stabbing the victims mercilessly. Didn’t he/she look them in the eyes? Didn’t he/she listen to them begging for their lives? Did he/she leave his/her heart at home before he/she drove to the victim’s place and commit the gruesome act?
Are we human as we claimed ourselves to be? Or would we become more human if we were to live amongst wild animals in the Amazon jungle?
I know most of you are still engrossed with today's daily, scanning through all the news related to 'The High Profile' murder and trial of this decade. Many of us start to do our own theory and analysis. Many would also just refuse to look at the papers or watch the news coverage on the trial as there are people who have lost their faith in the judicial system. Many also would try to get as much inside stories as possible. I fall under the last category of people. So, who has inside stories.... call me, ok?

I am muslim, too.

You know what, if you buy (or borrow) this book and carry it around the office or at the shopping mall, you'll be famous in no time. Heh heh... and I'm not kidding you! Among the reactions I received from colleagues when they saw me carrying/reading this were:

"Argh, you bought that girl's book? I read her blogs and I... argh... she's just... argh..." ---- from a woman I hardly know.

"Hey! Where did you buy that book from, Borders? MPH? Times? I'm getting one for myself." ---- from a book worm I know.

"Hmmm... I heard that's a good one." --- from a very serious looking gentleman.

"Wow, it takes a really open minded person to read that book." --- from a colleague who knows me quite well.

"How controversial is it?" --- from a curious girl.

"After you!" --- from someone who plans to read something good, but no time to shop for books.



Liberal or conservative; practising Muslim or not,I think you all should buy and read it. You may be thrilled, agreeing to some, confused by some, wondered about some, have your jaws dropping at times, have to re-read some paragraphs at times and feel like calling your mom to confirm on certain facts.

Most of us went through the Malaysian Muslim's life as described by Dina, especially women. We made similar observations, faced similar problems, afraid to ask on why certain things are conducted in certain ways, confused with own feelings; torn between 'adat' and 'agama'.

I give this book 4 stars out of 5. Good adult read.

My only advice to you is not to label the author or the book before you read everything between the front and back covers.

Updated on Friday the 13th of April:

Orang lain letak gambar kek, I pun nak letak jugak gambar kek I kat sini:

You Are a Marble Cake

Eclectic, inventive, and peaceful. You are never willing to accept what's "normal." You live to push the envelope. You find it hard to make up your mind. You prefer to have everything you want, right away!

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Hmmmm... nasib baik I memang sukaaaaa sangat-sangat marble cake tu.


And then.... one more! I saw this one in a friend's posting some time ago. Baru sekarang I buat pulak...

You Are a Coy Flirt!

You're not so much a flirt as the type of girl who draws flirts in While you look like you're just relaxing, secretly you've got your game on A little look here, a little wink there... you give men the encouragement they crave And in return, they flirt up a storm with you - while you just sit and smile

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

Sue's Wedding, and I think I owe Ahmad 1zham an apology....

Yesterday, 11th March 07 was another historical date for a friend. She got married!! Yeay! It was quite a drama, the past month. The most critical period for any couple who is getting married, is the last month of engagement.

So, my friend (and colleague) Sue, had chicken pox about 2 weeks ago (that was less than 14 days before the big day!!), I heard she cried when she realized she got it. When I saw her last week, she had a huge CP scar on her right forehead. We all felt sad for her.
Then, if that was not enough, the hall she booked for the reception suddenly doubled their rate just because it was school holidays, and it's too much in demand. Luckily her mom's place was big enough for the khenduri.

Some of Sue's wedding pictures can be found at my MSN space.

As for Ahmad 1zham, well, he didn't have anything to do with Sue's wedding. It's just that I heard an interview with him this morning on H0t.FM. Remember how Malaysians were so sceptical of 'that' TV station producing programmes taken from the States? Programmes like Malays1an Idol, now that dancing thing and later on will be Pr0ject Runway? I was one of those Malaysians who used to make remarks like 'Apasal asyik nak ambik sebijik-sebijik program luar ni?'

The DJs asked Ahmad 1zham the same question this morning. Upon hearing his answers, I suddenly realised that it was actually what we have been calling T.O.T (an IT terminology commonly used for knowledge transfer). T.O.T is the abbreviation for Transfer Of Technology. Little that I know that when a TV station produce a program by taking a concept from another TV station, it is almost like that franchise thingy. The local TV station's crew went abroad to be trained by the actual people who produced the program i.e Amer1can Id0l.

In 2006 there was no Malays1an Id0l, but the same local crew produced OIAM and What Women Want. I didn't watch both, so I am in no position to compare them, but from my readings, the local crew did the 2 reality programmes successfully.

That's why I owe Ahmad 1zham an apology. At least that TV station has managed to bring their employees' skills and technical know-how to a higher level. Yeah, I'm just another typical Malaysian. I like to speculate, presume a lot, easily lose my temper, then complaint, complaint and complaint.... heheheheh (but, sometimes that made me feel goooooooooood).

Updated on 15:16 (after a really heavy Japanese lunch with Emily).
Thanks to Jade and Sheryl, I found this Virtual DNA profile:

Read my VisualDNA™     Get your own VisualDNA™

Year End Thoughts

By now some of us might have realized that the people who has helped us the most are the people who at one point in our lives, has pushed us to the limit. We might have been calling these people bosses from hell, the most difficult customer or the cruelest gym trainer. Then, maybe a few years (or even only months later) we usually look back and think, 'I wouldn't have achieved this, if so and so didn't ask me to do this and this and that.'

It is good to have all nice people around us, who smile all day and speak with their softest voices and always OK with us changing certain deadlines by giving thousands of reasons. It would be even nicer if they are always agreeing on our opinion and make us feel like we are so matured, intelligent and successful.

I don't call these people bad, they are just behaving the way they think they should be. They might want to please us, so we stick as their friends or good working buddies. Maybe they don't want to hurt our feelings by making controversial remarks on certain issues, or perhaps it's just not their style to say that they don't agree with us and think that we're jerks.

However good these people are, they will spoil us in so many ways. No, I'm not saying that we should stop being friends with these people. Stick with them, by all means. They are also the people who will lift your spirits whenever you're down or troubled. They will bring you to have melted ice cream on chocolate moist cake, keep you company and listen to all your worries when you need someone to lend their ears (for 2 hours or more!).

These nice people will pamper us and sometimes they make us feel good, or even make us feel like living on a fairyland. The comfort they bring will make us smile happily and think, 'Oh this is just perfect, this is what I have always wanted to feel.'

Then, there are the not-so-nice people that we have to live with. They usually bring us unnecessary emotional turmoil, make us jump whenever we hear their footsteps or even shiver a little upon seeing an email from them. They look at us with a certain sharpness in their eyes that will make us think that there's no way we can escape from them, thus our feet just freeze and feel like planted on the floor. At times, the wind also stops blowing and oxygen ceases entering our nostrils once they're about to utter a word.

When they speak, we hear thunders, our hearts race faster. The description is almost like falling in love, however the truth is, it is so the opposite of that; it's actually like those people just push you off into a slippery trap 12 feet deep with tigers and lions guarding on top. The worse news is that, we are usually unequipped, we only have our bare hands and must use our brain in order to survive.

So, when you finally made it to the top of the pit, you have to fight the wild animals. Then you have to break free from the uncivilised jungle to reach the nearest village where you'll find water and food. The villagers are not that really friendly, you know. It takes a lot of patience and communication skill just to convice them that you're worth it. There's no such thing as free lunch.

When you finally make it to the city safely, reach the cozy little place you call home, take a long hot bath and followed by a cup of cappucino, stretch you aching limbs on your imported sofa, that's when the thought would strike. 'Hey, I've survived. This feels so great. Never thought I could ever get through all these. I am not as weak as I thought.'

In other words, this is when we realize the inner strengths that has never surfaced before. We could have never done those extra miles if not for the pressure and desperation. Then, suddenly the people who pushed you down the pit don't seem to be so bad after all.

However, there are more than one pit in this life, some are deeper, some a bit shallow. The wild animals are actually everywhere, not just at the edge of the pit. Sometimes, they just appear from nowhere, even in the comfort of the village area.

Whatever the situation is, we always think that we are not ready, unequipped and reluctant to face challenges and changes in life. Without realizing it, we just face whatever comes, deal with it and we actually make it through. Then, before the year ends, we realize that we are now better and stronger. So, enjoy what's left of 2006 and brace ourselves for the coming new year! Happy long hols to everybody taking long leaves.

Do you know the real 'you'?

There were times when somebody asked, 'Do you know him/her?' and I found
myself pausing for a really long time, thinking whether I knew him/her.
Knowing somebody means knowing who he/she really is. I can't say that if
I know somebody's name, origin, family members, occupation, hobbies and
favorite movies that'll mean I know him/her.
I watched the movie Shrek, many times and my favorite scene is when Shrek
and Donkey started out their journey to go rescue Princess Fiona. Shrek
told Donkey that 'Ogres are like onions, they have many layers', which I
think same goes with human.
I always look at the people around me as having many layers (no, I don't
look at them as if they're Ogres...). The people we see everyday, at the
office, conferences, parties, gatherings are usually only showing the
outmost layer of their personalities. That could be the layer that they
thought is the most presentable, and will make people around them feel
comfortable, so that they will be well accepted by the crowd.
How about people you have known for a few months? I think, they might
be daring enough to show the second or third layer of their personalities.
That is when you'll start to notice that these people will show some
temperaments, admit their weaknesses, willing to share some of their worries
with you or even started asking you out for lunches.
So, how comfortable can you be with people that you've known for a few
years, regardless of their gender? Hmmm... can you say that you've known
them well enough to start trusting them? Or would they think that
they can start calling you 'a friend'?
Then, how about those people you've known all your life (other than your
parents and family of course). Actually, how well do you know them?
Other than that, do you think you really know yourself? Do you understand
what you really want in life? Can you justify every action you take?
Can you explain weird stuffs you do, just to boost your self confidence
(this question is directed to myself.. hahahah).

Would you settle for the second option?

Would you settle for the second option?

Would you ever do that? Would you ever choose the thing that you put
second in your top ten list? Would you ever do that in order not
to hurt some other people's feeling or just trying to play safe so
that you'll never be hurt?

Or, were you just afraid of losing? How sure were you that when you
choose the second option that you're winning?
Would you not someday look back and asked yourself, what if I took the
risk and fight for the first option? That was the best option I had.
That was the only thing in life that I knew would make me happy. That
was supposed to be the best thing that could happen to me. Why in the
world did I settle for the second best thing?

Before you know it, you're already 65, losing teeth, grey hair,
wrinkled skin and still feeling like there's something missing in life.
There's still something or someone that you think should have been yours,
have it/him/her with you in your golden years. Then, that will be the
time when you suddenly remembered, and asked yourself again, why didn't
I go for the first option?