Monday, June 11, 2007

People that matters

One of my SILs was surprised to learn that I still keep in touch with my ex-schoolmates and ex-uni mates. We don’t only SMS/call/email each other often; we make a point to meet at least once a month to catch up with each other’s life. According to my SIL, she doesn’t even know where her friends from school or uni are. Her world revolves around work, family and the house (and also shopping… shopping… shopping). I am definitely not and cannot be that type. If I were to cut the ties with my friends, I’d feel like a polar bear living alone and cold in the North Pole. (Although at times, when I wore whites, people would mistake me with a polar bear, but NO I don’t want to be left hibernating alone in the North Pole).

Being Muslim women, we’ve always been taught that the Hubby and Family are everything that a woman can ever ask for, thus they’re always the priority; the rest doesn’t really matter (?) I don’t deny part of that. However, there are still things that you can never make yourself opening up to close family members, not even the Hubby. Let alone the MILs and FILs.

Imagine how a typical MIL would react to my usual whinings like, ‘Why can’t I stay and eat pasta at Fasta Pasta the whole day while I bloghop? Why do I have to come to the office and sit in my boring cubicle? My salary is never enough, why can’t your son just give me half of his?’

Imagine again, how the Hubby would react when he hears this:
‘I plan to build my own wealth. I don’t want to depend on my hubby all the time. I also want to make sure he doesn’t know how much I’m worth or where I keep all my money. Where should I hide my insurance policy?’

Those are among the things you’d rather spill out to trusted and reliable friends. Although some are quite judgmental, it’s not such a big deal and you wouldn’t mind.

So, throughout my adult life, the list of email addresses and phone numbers of ex-schoolmates and a few ex-uni mates is always within my reach. Knowing them ever since I was a teenager, there’s an unexplainable kind of trust we share. The sisterhood and bond (with my ex-schoolmate) is something that people like my SIL can never understand.

A colleague once asked why I always ‘beria-ia’ when there’s a function held by the school alumni.
My answer was, ‘It’s an opportunity for great networking and meeting a very reliable support group.’ He was being skeptical, and asked back, ‘Betul ke? Bukan nak jumpa cinta lama?’, a question that deserved my left foot (in a hooking side kick motion).
‘Hellooooo! I went to all girls high school la wey!’ there came my shrieking voice.
‘I never said your old flame was a guy,’
Argh, that’s cliché. Why every girl from all girls’ high school is always suspected to be a potential lesbo at any point of her life?

Most guys get it wrong when it comes to sisterhood. You guys will never get it, regardless of my countless effort trying to explain. This entry is not supposed to re-explain those things. When I started writing this, I intended to share the great time we had at MiCasa last weekend, but I got sidetracked until the end. Hehehehe.

R to L: Waz1f, Shawq1 and Ali (Jazzmatazzed's son). Posing sakan after swimming sakan.

The school break concluded with our NSSC weekend getaway at MiCasa. The boys enjoyed themselves, and the mommies didn’t get much sleep.


Spena said...

And I had a very bad food poisoning + gastric. After leaving Micasa,everys single thing that I ate since the night before and breakfast, came out and I got MC for the day!
Next time we better eat healthy hurts la wey!!!

D.N.A.S said...

waaaa... it was that bad, aaa? So sorry.
Next time maybe we do pot luck that is real pot luck i.e cook at home and bring the pot to the hotel. Anyway, I like the Nike shirt you wore that day lah. Looked very comfy.

all jazzed up said...

OMG< spena was puking her guts out kan spena kan .. kan... Next time we get o'brien's sandwiches... Less fat, less guilt, less chances of food poisoning.. tunggu eh, I didnt have time to post any pix yet on my blog.

Leilanie said...

It's true what you said about "friends" and how important (and actually hard, as it does take a lot of effort to keep and maintain friends) it is to stay in touch with friends........
You're doing the right thing....

And oh! I like it when you said....
"My salary is never enough, why can’t your son just give me half of his?"
(the looks in our MILs are priceless!)

D.N.A.S said...

I luuuurve O'Brien's Sandwich, and the Coffee... and the Chips too. Hehehe... wow that's healthy! With loads and loads of additional calories.

Berkasih biar satu. Berkawan biar beribu. Heheheheh.
If I really say those things to my MIL, agaknya dia jawab macam ni tak?
'Pergi kau dari sini! Kalau kau aku tak suka, keturunan kau pun aku benci!'
Heheheheh.... Dialog Mak Dara yang sangat over from the movie Ibu Mertuaku.

Angel Eyes said...


err... err...

blur jap.

guess499 said...

Agreed with you. I used to have outdoor friends. Now, most of them get married and have lost contact... rasa cam 'grizzly bear' la plak... ha ha.

nikfarizah said...

i do agree with you about 'friends'...i just can't imagine myself without them!...such a boring life isn't it??

sixtysixty said...

Trust is everything

Zetty said...

"Most guys get it wrong when it comes to sisterhood. You guys will never get it"

you got that right!

akula said...

Most girls get it wrong when it comes to brotherhood, too. You girls will never get it.


ku E said...

m wz u too sis!

D.N.A.S said...

are you okay?

for me marriage is smart life partnership. It doesn't mean I have to lose my identity and friends. The hubby and wife can remain as separate entity, nothing wrong with that. So, why wait? Your friends are just a phone call away. Hehehehe (contohnya, I !!!)

betul!!! Sure less excitement kalau kurang kengkawan, kan?

u trust me? hehehehe

tima kasih kerana menyokong saya.

tima kasih kerana membangkang saya.

paling best bila ada kawan yg pandai bake cookies, kan? kan? kan? *wink*

ruby ahmad said...

Hi d.n.a.s,

I have read that women need to recharge by going out with gal pals. We can gossip silly, giggle and chuckle all our stress away. It does us good all these monthly get togethers. Not men. Ha ha.

So keep up the good sisterhood.

D.N.A.S said...

Men need to recharge everyday. Hehehe.

Anonymous said...

hie kak dayang,

Came across ur blog while reading through dilla's blog....Seronok baca, especially tengah boring now ni...

lileen @ aske'

D.N.A.S said...

wow! long time no hear/see. Baby dah besar?

WANSHANA said...

Dear d.n.a.s,

One of the best ways to keep a healthy and happy marriage is for the wife to have loads of girlfriends.

"Why?", you may ask.

Simply because, with her girlfriends, everything that is bottled up in the wife's heart will be up in the open among her closest confidantes - and THAT will help ease all the tension at home when she's with the hubby and kids. This is especially true if the bottled up stuffs are pertaining to the hubby. No?!

D.N.A.S said...

Kak Shana,
Agree with you. It helps to ease a lot of things. Yes, some of the bottled up stuffs are related to Mr. Hubby.... but not all. :).