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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Appointment with the gynae

I’m not only untidy; I’m forgetful most of the time. I was supposed to have my IUCD taken out months ago. However, due to work schedule and continuous pressure from management (to sit for a professional certification), I totally forgotten that the IUCD has expired. Too bad it didn’t start beeping to tell me it’s about time for removal procedure.

It sent shivers down my spine thinking that I’ve been carrying an expired foreign object inside my womb for more than 2 months. It’s not just an object; it’s a device that generates chemical reactions.

If it was not for the bloated feeling I’ve been having for the past 2 weeks, the IUCD would still be planted inside my body. Luckily my gynae was in a good mood that day and didn’t lecture me for being forgetful. She asked whether I decided to have a new IUCD inserted or try for another baby. I did a simple Maths for about 5 seconds and told her that I’d like to try for my third baby. Hehehe. Yup, I made big decisions that quick.

My gynae congratulated me and told me, ‘You kalau nak beranak, beranak lah masa muda. Kalau dah tua, susah wooo!’ Later, after doing the necessary scan she advised me to consider ‘retirement’ after my third baby due to my pregnancy complications which require me to undergo C-sect for every birth.

I told her that I will think about it. I’m not sure how true it is, but according to my gynae the limit for women going for C-sect is 4 times. The gynae who performed my last C-sect told me that the world record is 11 times – held by a Brazilian woman. Hmmmm… she must have very elastic skin that continued regenerating after every birth. Or, maybe she’s Plastic Woman, I don’t know. But I can’t imagine having to undergo C-sect for 11 times! Rasa macam ikan pulak, asyik kena siang je.

While the gynae was ‘menceceh’ with all her stories, she removed my IUCD and showed it to me, ‘Haaaa…. Here’s your IUD!!!’ She held it high enough for me to have a good look at it. It’s gross, okay. Looking at an object covered in mucus and blood, and knowing that the hideous looking thing has been staying inside my body for 5 freaking years and I’ve carried it everywhere, really made me wanna puke. Yuck! But I still have to thank that foreign object for the money I saved on condoms and contraceptive pills.

The gynae then gave me folic acid subscription for 3 months as preparation to get pregnant soon. She told me that everything is okay for me to try for the next baby; it’s just that I have to reduce some weight. Hehehehe…. Yeah, I wonder whether that would be really necessary. What matters more, the mother’s BMI or her fitness level?
When I was driving out of the hospital, I got the first kick of removing the foreign object. The bloated feeling started to ease, but the fart-fest started. Wind kept gushing out of my body from the back channel. It’s too gross to elaborate, but I had overlapping meetings that day and I kept on running to the toilet to let all the wind out. Damn, chemical reactions or the absence of them can do that to our bodies? So, don’t ever take ecstasy pills, you all. They can do a lot more.

8 comments:

all jazzed up said...

Sangat gross. Will IUCD make you gain weight, etc?

D.N.A.S said...

Jazz,
all contraceptive methods will make you gain weight because you'll be having worry-free sex and enjoy it better. Good sex = happiness = eat more = gain weight. I know it's true in most cases. Heheh.

john f seademon said...

DNAS!!! I love you la!!! I sooo love this entry!!!

Sounds almost like my blog already. Hehehehe.

wanshana said...

All the best with "Projek Tambah Umat" :)

I'm sure it's one project that you wouldn't mind not having a decent night sleep preparing for...

HAHAHAHA!

D.N.A.S said...

SD,
this is not as gross as terkench* merata-rata di belakang pintu kecemasan le, kan...

Kak Shana,
You want me to document the project implementation? Hahahaha.

Helena said...

oppsy, thank god UID you tak lama expire in your body..... bahaya tu...

HAve fun! (in trying to get the baby... *wink*)

Jade said...

woooohooooooo!!! can't you at least wait until i get hitched? hahaha...

good luck!

D.N.A.S said...

Helena,
these few months I have to take folic acid, get fit and shed a few kg first. Doctor advised to prepare for about 3 months before conceiving.

jade,
can. Bila nak kawin?