SAHM? WAHM? And writing?

It all started in January 2007. I remember posting about my dream to become a working at home mom. I was not really sure of what I could do at home other than driving the kids to school, fetching them in the evening, cooking, cleaning, gardening etc. 


A friend suggested to start a clothing line but none of us knew how to design clothes. I could sew simple baju kurung and shirts but never taken any formal courses. Not long after we discussed this, I read in the gossip column that Victoria Bekham was planning to start her clothing line too. Hehe. Coincidence or what?


Another friend encouraged me to start baking, and I took some initiatives about a year later. I bought an oven and started baking. It was really fun trying all the new found recipes (mostly Googled), playing around with buttercream and fondant. But I couldn't spend much time baking as many IT projects started pouring in that year. So, the oven was left in a cold and lonely corner in my kitchen. Poor oven.


In early 2007 too I dreamed to become a published author. I started writing fiction and a few paid articles. I published the fiction in my blog. It was a short story. And that was it. I never had the time to write fiction soon after that because of my work load. 


The only thing I managed to do consistently since then was writing. Well, actually only the blog writing part was consistent. The technical writing, fiction and paid articles only lasted for a few months. 


So, the idea of becoming a WAHM was forgotten for a while. 


Earlier this year, one of my new year resolutions was to start with my Masters programme in June/July timeframe. I started planning on how to adjust my work schedule and researching on the most suitable courses offered by nearby Unis. At one point, I was contemplating quitting work and focus 100% on doing the Masters Programme. 


But Allah knows best. There were a few new challenges at work that I didn't even have time to enroll myself in any of the nearby Universities. The first quarter of 2011 was so busy that I didn't even took any time off during the school holidays. 


Some time in April my body started to tell me that it was too much to take, my BP was high again after stabilizing for more than 3 years. It was so frustrating as I realized I've been neglecting my health again. I tried going to the gym and cooking at home more frequently but work became too demanding, sometimes I even had lunch in the car while driving to customer's place. 


So, when I saw an announcement in Twitter requesting for manuscript submission, I started writing fiction again. It's a therapy, much better than shopping or going to spa. Writing fiction transformed me into another person and it brought me to another world, another dimension. It kept me occupied, but less stressed. I completed the proposal and my first 4 chapters in 6 days and submitted to the publisher. 


To my surprise, the proposal was accepted and I continued with the rest of the manuscript. 
Four weeks later I managed to complete the manuscript and submitted the first draft. And it was accepted! 
Allah knows best and works in mysterious ways. My first novel will be launched on 17th September 2011. 
A wish/dream started in early 2007 and will materialize on the 3rd quarter of 2011. 


For all my readers who dare to dream, trust me, insyaallah you will succeed.


** more news on my first novel will be posted here after Raya.

Zarif is 19 months

19 months ago, a few minutes before discharged from hospital

2 months ago, after sambutan Maulidur Rasul 

Enjoying his tutu (milk) at Hyatt, Kuantan.

Enjoying the cool breeze at Blackpool beach.

Eager to explore KLIA.

Too hungry, he's going to eat the sofa at Subang Parade.

Aku takde la pandai masak.... tapi....

I made a new year resolution in 2010 to cook dinner more often. Since I was pregnant in 2009, I don't remember doing any cooking throughout the 9 months. It was not because of the smell of food, but I was just too tired once I reached home from work. Pregnancy after 35 is seriously draining. Every weekend I spent at least 2 hours sleeping during day time. I could wake up and go to the office in the morning when my energy level was high, but after 6pm all I could think of was my bed.

So, in 2010 I started cooking dinner at least twice a week and lunch on Saturdays. It was quite difficult at first as I had to cook really quickly. I reached home at around 7.30pm (if I went to gym). After taking shower and Maghrib prayers, it's already 8.20pm. So, I only have about 45 minutes to prepare dinner.

I started with really simple recipes such as tempe goreng and fishball soup. After about a month, when I knew how to plan and execute better I started cooking a few types of sambal, soup, noodles and grilled stuffs. Once I learned the trick, it's becoming a lot simpler.

The keyword is PLAN. I had to start thinking of what to cook for dinner tomorrow before I retire to bed at night. In the morning I would thaw the meat or chicken in the fridge. Sometimes I bought additional ingredients  at Jaya Grocer after gymming. Actually my life and schedule got better after Empire Gallery was opened. Gym and grocery store in the same complex, how convenient.

Today, after more than a year of cooking frequently at home I realized one thing: my hair fall is under control. So does my hubby's. Not too long ago the bedroom floor was always littered with our fallen hair. Now sometimes a few strands could be seen at the corners but in general, our hair fall problem is not as worrying as before. Eating out is fun where you can get endless choices of food in Malaysia but knowing how popular Ajinomoto is in the country, I can't imagine how many cans of MSG have been absorbed by my body. Besides MSG there are other chemicals added by the cook that we're not aware of. The various types of commercial sauces and their preservative are just as scary.

We can find a lot of delicious food sold in the eating places in KL, but finding quality food is quite a challenge. So, I'm glad with my decision to provide more home cooked food for the family. I grew up having home cooked food and my mom never used Ajinomoto or chicken stock cubes. It's only fair that my kids could enjoy those privileges too.

Wazif's favorite: cekodok ikan bilis (tak mau bawang)

Mr Hubby's favorite: fried salmon with garlic

Shawqi's favorite: Spaghetti bolognaise with keropok

Sacrifice

I’ve been going to the gym during lunch hour since December 2010. It’s getting more frequent now, sometimes twice a week. I also noticed a few gym-goers who came at around 12.30 and left at 1.30pm. It seems like I’m not  the only one having to resort to this arrangement. Most of these gym-goers are working women and I bet they are also mothers. People like us have to sacrifice lunch hours just to sweat. 

Although I workout during lunch hour, I still managed to get lunch, usually before my gym session. Thank god there’s a small cafeteria in the office, I can easily get toast and half boiled eggs at 11.30a.m. Usually I’d bring packed lunch from home. After workout, two bananas would be enough to supply the much needed energy until 6pm.

I know it’s not really advisable to spend longer lunch hour to go to the gym, but what other choices do I have now? It’s almost impossible to workout after office hours when most of my afternoon meetings end at 6.30 or 7pm. Going to the gym in the morning is also out of the question. My mornings started quite late as I need to prepare Zarif’s things and drive him to the day care. He is not a morning person as everytime I wake him up to wash his face and get changed, he’s always cranky. Usually it’ll take me 15 minutes or so just to calm him down, feed him and get him into a fresh pair of pajamas. I don’t bathe him early in the morning because of his asthma problem.

Before my work became this hectic and demanding, I only had 5.30 – 7pm to workout. Everyone at home expects to see me back before Maghrib. I was envious seeing my single friends who could work out from 8-10pm. They had ample time for proper warm up, doing all their planned exercises and then cool down. They even had the luxury of time to wind down in the steam room and took long, rejuvenating bath afterwards.

While I, had to cramp everything into 50 minutes. Warm up, cardio, weight, stretch, cool down. All those within 50 minutes and I had to do them with greater difficulty levels to ensure more calories are burnt. It’s quite accurate to describe my life (not only my gym session) as 18 rushing hours (only 6 hours spared for sleep).

Juggling career, family and personal things is not easy. You might have read it in the other few thousand blogs or magazine articles. Some women had to sacrifice some things just to make sure they don’t lose their family. Some women even decided to choose career over family. The two scenarios happened in our life and I know a few women who had to make those decisions.

Society will point fingers to the women if anything should happen to the families, regardless of the decisions they made now. To be a stay at home mom or a working one is not an easy choice. I was contemplating staying at home and give 100% focus to the family many times in the last few years, especially since my kids started schooling. However, an advice from a dear friend from my old workplace always rang in my ears.

She said, whatever happens in the life of a woman, never lose the financial independence. Because you’ll never know what will happen to your husband or who he will become in the future.

Well, my friend gave me that advice a few months after her divorce. She was not bitter, but she was talking from her own experience. I followed her advice then and I still remember it today. So far, I have very few regrets.

Asthma

So, Zarif has had asthma attacks twice. Once in November, during Raya Haji and the second time was two days ago. He's active as always, so I only realized he's asthmatic when he couldn't sleep at night and wheezing. I almost miss it the first time. I thought it was just mild fever and continuous coughing. Then my sister in law noticed his rapid breathing.

Shawqi and Wazif has history too. When they were about 1 year old they had it. Both cases were not serious. Zarif's first case was also mild. However this time the ER doctor actually advised to have him admitted for closer monitoring and more frequent neb. Zarif hates the nebuliser. When he sees it he would scream and start kicking and struggling.

I decided not to have him admitted as I couldn't imagine having to hold him when the nurse starts neb. This morning at the clinic, there were three people: me, the nurse and the doctor who had to hold him so that he sit still. He was crying throughout the 15 minutes of getting neb. Another nurse offered him candy and chocolate biscuits but he threw them away.
I think he's also started to developed some kind of phobia whenever he saw the nurse approached him with the misty neb.

After getting neb he would sleep longer than usual. I couldn't hear him wheezing. However he has two more neb sessions because the doctor told me that it's quite serious. After last night's neb sessions he slept well until about 4.30a.m. He tossed around, crying, breathing rapidly and was wheezing again.
The truth is asthma runs in my family. Three of my brothers had it when they're young. I consider myself lucky I was spared, but I have gastritis.

My most serious case was when I was in Form 4. It was so bad, I couldn't even climb the staircases to the library. After just a flight of stairs, I'd be breathless, panting and struggling for air. I had severe heart burn and sometimes even my back hurt.I went to see a doctor in Triang and he told me that it was stomach ulcer. A few weeks later I went to get a second opinion from a doctor in JB and she asked me whether scoping was done by the other doctor to prove that it was indeed ulcer. Since he didn't, it remained non-conclusive. So, whenever people asked why I was not eating oily and spicy stuffs, I just told them that I had very bad stomach problem.

Ok back to the asthma story, the doctor I saw this morning gave a few advices on how to prevent asthma attacks. She told me that usually toddlers will be less sensitive to dust, cold or germs once they reached 2 years of age. Zarif is now almost 1.5 years old. Have to take extra precaution for the next 6 months. If he's sick and couldn't sleep, the rest of the household will be wide awake. 

One of the Solutions to my school holiday headache

It was not planned and I was not even aware that this tablet was made available in Malaysia early last week. When I was in the UK in June this year, I was sikit-sikit berangan  to get the wifi model (lowest) spec but couldn't find any Apple store during the last few days of my stay there. It was priced at BP429 then (about RM2102 with 4.9 conversion rate).
When it was officially launched in Malaysia, the lowest spec was priced at RM1,549. There was not much hype about it as many Malaysian has resorted to buying their iPads from Europe, UK, Australia and Singapore. Some even bought the 'underwater' ones in the IT shops in KL. My friend told me that 'underwater' iPads costed about RM2800!!! Wow! For those who were not patient enough to wait for 30th Nov 2010 must be spitting on their computer (or iPad screen) looking at the prices for Malaysian market.
Many of the online reviewers advised not to buy iPad now as iPad 2 will be announced probably in April 2011. So, I was silently planning to start saving to buy iPad 2 next year.
On 30th Nov morning, I left for work a bit later than usual as I was going to conduct a training somewhere in Puchong, which was only 5 minutes drive from home. I stopped at petrol station and picked up The Star. The iPad launch made it to one of the smaller headlines.

During coffee break that morning I asked one of the participants whether there's any Apple store at IOI Mall. Well, although I live in Puchong I haven't been to many parts of that mall for such a very long time. Ever since Fitness First Empire Gallery was opened, I hardly go to the gym at IOI. Damn the 'laluan kontra' from 4.30pm - 8.30pm!!! (yeah, still cursing it even after so many months already). The participant I asked, didn't even look like an Apple fan (he used a Nokia phone, BTW). He's heard of iPad but was not aware that it was only made officially available in Malaysia on that day. *sigh*
We finished class early so I rushed to IOI mall with my gym bag. I haven't been able to go to gym for more than a month with all these year end things going on in the office. Whenever I get the chance, I'll leave early and head to the gym. While running on the treadmill I texted Mr. Hubby about iPad availability in the country and asked whether he'd like one. His reply was 'I nak 2 bijik!'
After working out for about an hour, I packed my things and prepared some loose change to pay for the parking ticket. As I walked out of the gym I saw many people in the epicenter shop. Yes, they do have authorized Apple reseller in that mall. There were a few families and couples playing with the iPads on display. They only had a few units for people to play around with. Since I've played with it so many times when we first saw it in Manchester, I wasted no time and made a beeline to the counter.
After fifteen minutes, I was walking happily (how I wished I could skip all the way hehehe) to my car with a 32GB Wifi + 3G iPad in my gym bag. Hooray!
When I reached home, I took it out and presented to Mr. Hubby and wished him a very advanced Happy Birthday (his birthday is 8th Jan, anyway... ) He looked a bit surprised and told me he didn't know how to use it. Later that night I showed some of its functionality but he didn't look very impressed or interested in the gadget.
The next day I spent some time to synch the iPad with my iTunes at home, put in Mr Hubby's favorite songs, photos he recently took with his new camera and downloaded a few top grossing games from the App Store. Once I was done I showed him what I've put in. He admired the photo quality for a few minutes before he lost interest again. Then I showed him how to play Angry Birds HD. Ever since he started playing that game, he never stopped and hooked to it until today.
I also downloaded a few free games for the children. They're experts with iPhone so it took them no time to explore iPad. The good thing is every game can be a multiplayer game with a touchscreen. They've been playing Cut The Rope, PACman, Ninja Jump, Tappy Tap, Smurf Village and Restaurant Story. Too bad they have to take turns with Mr Hubby to play. (Oh, I've already gave some hints to Mr Hubby that iPad 2 is coming out some time next year, and I prefer if he gets one in July... hehe).
For now my headache can be considered solved as the kids spend more time playing with the iPad than wrestling in my room or having one on one soccer game in the living area.
But now comes a new headache, they always ask me for the time as they need to harvest their potatoes/tomatoes/carrots/strawberries at the Smurf Village before they all wilt. Whenever we go out, they'd insist we go home early so that they can check their plants and then prepare food for the customers in Restaurant Story. I hope this is better than buying them PS3 and they just sat in front of the screen and refuse to go out. I hope both of them have totally forgotten about PS3... hihihi...

Note: Picture was Googled.

School holidays

I used to love school holidays when I was studying in STF because I got to go home and sleep 18 hours a day. Now that I have school going kids and the holiday falls during the busiest time of the year I'm starting to loath the 6 long weeks. Year end is just mad and a madding period. I made at least 3 enemies in November and December 2009. And it's impossible to be friends with them ever again. People just lose their minds when it comes to financial year closing. There's quota to achieve, numbers to chase, customer billing, project completion, hardware deliver etc etc. Everybody is pushing everybody. I just hate this time of the year. Christmas and New year holidays have no meaning when most of the times we had to be in the office and do all the last minute things.

With so many things on the plate, the kids at home would call me at least 3 times of the day to inform me on 'very' important things like:
'Mak, Shawqi taknak mandi..! Marah dia nanti tau..'
'Mak, Wazif baling-baling buku tadi.'
'Mak, Shawqi taknak buat latihan Bahasa Malaysia.'
'Mak, Shawqi mandi pukul 3 petang, lepastu dia taknak gosok gigi.'
'Mak, nak pinjam laptop!'

If I'm in a meeting and tell them to call back later, they WILL call back about 2 minutes later. If I don't pick up, they will leave voice mails - very lengthy voice mails. Okay how many of your friends leave voice mails nowadays, eh? The funny thing is I never taught my kids to leave voice messages, they figured it out themselves. They love technologies, anyway. Once they played with my iPhone, messed up with the display until I couldn't even slide and it took me 2 hours to figure out what has been changed and how to reset it. Then they played PES on their desktop until the windows was corrupted. Had to format that desktop *Fuh* nasib baik mak dia celik IT. With the desktop down, they've been using my netbook.Aiyyoyo....

School holidays can be really trying and tiring to mothers like me. Besides all the headaches, parents have to also plan for their holiday activities like Summer Camp (kat Malaysia semua cuti sekolah time summer), tuition s, religious classes, picnics, visiting Petrosains again and again, visiting Toys r Us again and again.

We're not travelling this school holiday as my leave balance is 0. We'll probably go swimming and walking at the nearest park more often. Since it's hot during the days, we only have between 5-7pm for outdoor activities. Too bad.

Tonight I'm going to crack my head again to come up with more interesting activities for the kids. So far I've given them these assignments:

1. Complete exercise books for BM and BI, Year 3 and 4 (zalim, kan?)
2. Read English story books, starting with Count of Monte Cristo and King Solomon's Mines
3. Read Malay story books ( I haven't found any good one so far. Might need to go to Minerva soon).

So far the only assignment completed is the one they assigned themselves: getting new toys from Toys r Us. *sigh*

Their English class will start next week. I guess I'll just let them play with the toys and watch as much TV as they wish until then. Hahaha...

Esok hari raya!

Kitorang ada kat Puchong lagi sebab tahun ni tak balik Pahang first raya. Besok raya, maka rancangannya nak pegi Melaka lepas solat raya. Sepatutnya hari ni nak masak-masak apa yang patutlah kan. Tapi dari pagi tadi Zarif asyik merengek je, dia selesema dan asyik nak gigit barang-barang (dan orang). Mesti nak keluar gigi lagi ni. Dia taknak duduk main dalam cot dan taknak jugak main dengan toys dia kat lantai. Asyik berdukung je ke hulu ke hilir.

Oleh sebab itu, maka saya tidaklah dapat memasak hari ni. Nenek Zarif tengah masak sorang-sorang kat dapur. Pagi tadi dah pegi Pasar Borong Selangor, shopping bahan mentah. Tadi dah suruh Wazif pegi tolong, tapi dia pegi turun bawah terus melekat depan TV. Shawqi lagi bagus, terus main game tak hingat punya.Nasib baik nenek diorang nak masak rendang dengan nasik himpit je, bolehlah handle sorang kot. Kalau nak masak aneka rupa makanan raya, memang tak menang tanganlah kalau camni.

Tadi lepas mengamuk-ngamuk tiba-tiba Zarif tertidur (hahahaha... tiba-tiba la pulak kan...). Mesti dah terover penat tu. Dia tidur, mak dia pun bukak Netbook. hahahaha.... tak jugak pegi tolong nenek dia masak.Bau rendang dah semerbak dah kat seantero rumah ni. Kejap lagi settle lah tu. Yeay, petang karang boleh beli lemang tepi jalan. Berbuka makan lemang, nasi himpit dengan rendang cadangnya.

Tapi, untuk dua-dua orang abang Zarif ni, gerenti kena beli benda lain. Diorang ni tak berapa reti makan semata-mata ketupat atau lemang. Mesti nak makanan yang betul-betul heavy, contohnya burger daging special (heavy ngan calories la tu...)

Zarif bangun kang nak bawak dia pegi klinik kejap sebab ubat selesema & demam dah nak abis. Macam gini lah kalau budak duduk kat day care. Dalam sebulan mesti dua tiga kali kena selesema. Banyak betul bacteria kat day care tu gamaknya, tak hilang-hilang.

Lepas pegi klinik nanti nak pegi IKEA kejap (isy, sempat lagi nak pegi melabur duit kat IKEA). Bukan apa, lampu tidur kat bilik ni pecah. Dah tua dah lampu ni. Hubby beli 4-5 tahun sebelum kitorang kawin dulu. Memang dah tua pun. Memang patut dia me'retire'kan dirinya. Maka, petang ni kena pegi cari lampu tidur baru. Harap-harap jalan tak jammed dan IKEA lengang.

Doa-doakan tak tiba-tiba 'terbeli' perabot sampingan pulak kat IKEA tu nanti. Haippp!!! Ingat credit card statement terbaru. Walaupun jauh lagi nak exceed limit, tapi figurenya sudah boleh bikin jiwa kacau kalau fikir-fikirkan... hehehe.

Selamat Hari Raya uols! Bawak kereta jangan emosi, ok. Many Malaysian drivers are stupid, so I hope you are the smart ones.

Akhir kata, terimalah pantun 4 kerat saya ini:

Raya pertama cover 10 rumah,
Jumpa sedara setahun sekali;
Raya ketiga janganle muntah-muntah,
Kalau food poisoning, sakitnya hati.

Bawak kereta jangan berlumba,
nyawa kita ni tak ada tukar ganti;
Kalau terasa bengang, bawak-bawak ketawa,
Driver lain bawak keta macam sial, tapi kita mesti tenangkan hati.

Beli baju raya sampai lapan pasang,
sutera, satin, crepe, cotton tak tinggal;
Simpan duit raya tu jangan hilang,
Kalau pokai lepas raya, jangan menyesal.

Bila raya kemain gembira,

belasah semua lemang, ketupat;

lepas raya pegi gym semula,

memang menangis nak turunkan berat.

Apa-apa hal, kita raya dulu!!!! Peace!

The Chronicles of Bibik Hampeh - Part 2

After we decided to terminate her service, I acted as normal because I was afraid if she sniffed our plan God knows what she'd do to Zarif in our absence. We contacted the agency and unfortunately they couldn't take her immediately as they were moving office. We had to wait and tolerated the bibik's nonsense for two weeks plus while the agency settled down at their new place.

Since I knew she'd be gone pretty soon, I did a few tests... well... just for fun.

One morning, Zarif threw up on the carpet in front of the TV. I told the bibik to clean the whole carpet as the stain was pretty obvious. Well, guess what's her answer, 'Bu, carpet ini bisa di laundry. Hantar aja ke laundry..' and she never cleaned the small stain.

One Sunday afternoon I told her to clean all the rooms upstairs plus all the toilets but I purposely locked the master bedroom. She went up to do her far-from-clean cleaning but she never asked for my bedroom keys so that she could sweep and mop that room. So, she just cleaned the other rooms. That night I checked the toilet she claimed she has cleaned, the floor was still yellowish and there was a strong smell or urine. Oh, by the way, she never cleaned the toilet bowls perhaps there's a curse in her family or what... I don't know.

On 1st March, she showered really early and reminded me that it's already the first of the month. Again, she was asking it in a really rude manner. I was thinking of giving her a side kick near the stairs but decided not to as I was wearing a long skirt that morning. Actually her salary was due on the 5th of each month. I showed her the contract but she's brengsek enough to think that she could ask for her salary early. I was not in the mood to fight. I just removed RM550 from my wallet and gave it to her. I told her to keep the money first, I didn't have time to create her bank account (well, I never intended to create an account for her when I've already decided to get rid of her A.S.A.P) and promised her that I'll bring her out during the weekend so that she could buy her handphone. Oh, she's been telling me endlessly on how desperately she needed a handphone because she was worried about her youngest daughter who's staying with her good-for-nothing husband. We allowed her to use the house phone to call her family but she insisted it would be too expensive and she preferred to just SMS her family. Ok, fine with me. It's her money. She's free to spend it for whatever purpose.

When I came back that night, Mr Hubby told me he saw a brand new handphone in the bibik's room. Man, I was damn furious. I told her specifically that we'd go out and buy it. After dinner she showed it to me and asked on how to charge the battery. I took the opportunity to check the calls made, there was only one and it was to her son in Indon. I fiddled with it trying to find what I could do to sabotage the phone, but there was none as it was the lowest range of Nokia and she's using DIGI prepaid. Couldn't do any naughty trick. Pbftttt...

Since she got the handphone, it seemed like she suddenly had more ironing to do. It was weird when she had to leave Zarif with my MIL almost the whole evening coz she's got mountains of clothes to iron. One thing for sure, she didn't have to iron my office clothes because I only wear wrinkle free pants and blouses these days. She'd locked herself in her room and only came out when I called.

The next day I took out 7 of my cotton blouses and asked her to press them. She really had to spend hours and the result was a huge disappointment. I was not angry as I didn't intend to wear any of the blouses, I just wanted to make sure she really did some ironing. Hehe.

To be continued.....

Back to superwoman mode (The Chronicles of Bibik Hampeh)

This is Part 1 of The Chronicles of Bibik Hampeh

I fired my maid and am now back to the old bibikless mode. It's not that difficult. It was as if I have this jumper in my mind where I can just toggle between the with-bibik and bibikless mode.

Now that she's gone I kept on questioning myself what was I thinking when I decided to hire one? Hmmmm... was it because I was about to have a new baby? Or was it because I got tired from scrubbing the 3 bathrooms we have in the house? Well, perhaps I decided to have a bibik because I needed an adult to be home when Wazif and Shawqi come home for lunch.

Initially we planned to send the baby to the nearest daycare, but when the bibik proved herself that she could take a good care of Zarif we didn't enroll him at the daycare. Since Zarif was a healthy baby and easy to care for , he stayed home with the bibik.

The first few months was quite ok. Not that good, very far from perfect... the bibik's attitude and work quality was just so-so. I didn't complain much although her hygiene was a bit of a concern. I just couldn't understand why she needed to recycle the cooking oil 5-6 times. According to her cooking oil is expensive. Even when I told her it can make everybody sick, she never really listened to me. After getting tired of having to remind her about the cooking oil, I just threw away the oil she planned to recycle.

However, I couldn't find a way to make sure she defrost food before cooking. She thought it's OK to fry frozen sausage/fish/meat. How was I to explain the importance of defrosting when she didn't understand Chemistry? I had to closely monitor her when she cooked. I went to office later than usual because I had to make sure she cooked properly. What a waste of time! Oh wait, did I mention that she used her right hand to wash Zarif after he poo-poo? Yucksssss!

I also caught her several times mixing yesterday's rice (yang dah almost basi) with the rice she's cooking that almost make me puke there and then. When I complained, she said 'Jangan dibuang nasi... sayang. Kesian petani.' So I told her to cook just enough rice for everybody so that there'll be no leftover. Problem solved.

In terms of other houseworks she was seriously incompetent. Perhaps she couldn't differentiate between dusty, clean and dirty. She'd never clean/wipe the stove, kitchen cabinet, tv cabinet, dining table unless I instructed her so. When she's not doing the laundry or sweeping the floor or taking care of the baby, she'd just sat on the sofa and watch TV - her favorite ASTRO channels! She even told my MIL to go and watch the small TV in her room because she wanted to watch ASTRO.

If that's not rude enough, well one day about 1 month before her first pay was due, she confronted my MIL demanding her salary. My MIL knew nothing about the arrangement so she just told her to refer to me. The bibik's mood turned sour and she just went up to her room and left the baby downstairs. She didn't feed Zarif or played with him for the rest of the day.

I was really pissed off when I learned about what happened that day. I told Mr Hubby to just send her back to the agency. That's how easy the decision was made. I couldn't stand her rudeness, stubbornness, unhygienic ways and mostly for being pretentious in front of me. I have millions of other things to think about than having to watch all her drama.

To be continued......

Where to go?

March is fast approaching. Wazif and Shawqi are all excited that the school break is getting near. We promised them that we'll have a proper vacation this time. When there's a baby, a lot of adjustments need to be made. We didn't go anywhere further than 100KM for the past 6 months.

The problem is I don't know where to go for a short vacation in Malaysia. My children are not that into sight seeing, shopping or going to theme park. They just want to stay in a good hotel with a nice huge pool and the room service food is excellent. We've been to Kuala Trengganu and Kuantan many times in the past as their favorite foods were easy to find in the east coast. However this time, they demanded to go somewhere cold; Wazif was suggesting London. But then, it's not easy to bring a 6 months old baby on a long haul flight.

I am planning to go to Cameron Highlands, although I know that place is not that cold anymore. But at least I think it's not as hot as KL/Selangor. Bukit Tinggi is out of my list as we've been there before and I didn't like it. Genting is also not an option as good food is not easy to find.

So, I'm left with only Cameron Highlands. Now I have to find a good hotel. My problem now is I don't know which hotel in Cameron Highlands has big swimming pool. Been there a few times but none of the hostel has it. Regardless of how cold the place is, my children will still insist to go and swim for hours. After that they'll return to the hotel room, not to sleep but to continue playing in the bath tub. Yeah, I have male mermaids staying in this house with us.

So, people... if you know of good hotels in Cameron Highlands, please recommend. I need to make reservations by this week as it's going to be peak period. Am not complaining though because I'll be on leave ... yeay!

Bacalah.....

Iqra' has been introduced in Malaysia for some time now and kids these days don't read much Muqaddam like I did when I was 6 years old. My 2 sons started Iqra' when they were 5. Wazif completed all 6 Iqra' when he was in Standard 2, right before the final exam. Shawqi is still struggling with Iqra' 4.

When Wazif completed Iqra', his ustazah recommended to go straight to reading Al Quran. She said it's okay to just skip Muqaddam. I was okay with it.

This year I decided to monitor Wazif's Quran reading, so I asked him to recite the page that his Ustazah taught him in the morning. One night, after dinner we sat in front of the TV and I checked his reading. His Al- Fatihah was okay but still can be improved. When he started with one of the Ayat from surah Al Baqarah, I almost fainted. He just bulldozed through. Every 'baris' was read with the same 'harkat', no 'sabdu', no 'waqaf', no nothing. Basically none of the Tajweed rules was applied.

I questioned him whether his Ustazah teaches Tajweed, he said no. It's confusing because he could recite most of the Ayat Lazim with the correct Tajweed (I later found out that they have Hafazan classes at school - the kids just memorize.....). When I checked back all the 6 Iqra', they have all the complex Kalimah which contain 'Sabdu' and different 'Harakat'. I suspected the kids were also thought to just memorize and didn't really learn on how to spell out each Kalimah (like we did long-long time ago...) Knowing Wazif, he's really good at memorizing things, I'll not be surprised if he could remember all the Kalimah used in all the 6 Iqra'.

Iqra' method might be able to get kids to learn Quran faster but I sensed something amiss here. A few things are compromised; one is Tajweed and the other is spelling. You can call me old-school but still my stand is if modern method will only lead you to the wrong way, why should we follow? However, I've yet to find out whether the teachers were applying the method correctly or just doing it like 'melepas batuk di tangga....' Well, that part is quite difficult for me to tell unless I sit in my kids' classes and listen to their Ustazah (which I'm not permitted).

So, now I need to find a good Quran teacher who can teach my kids using the old-method. (Lepas tu, I pun boleh tumpang sekaki buat revision... hehehe) Hopefully the Ustaz will bring a 'rotan' with him so that Wazif and Shawqi lagi cepat pandai... ;)

Nag nag nag....

Soon after I got married, I decided that I'd never be a nagging mom. I knew exactly how was the 'sour' feeling you get whenever your mom nagged. I thought I could just stay cool and say nice things to my kids.

But that was more than 9 years ago.  Today, after 9 years of marriage and 3 kids I think I am becoming more and more like the other moms. When Wazif was small I didn't nag as I was always coming home late from work and we spent the weekends either sleeping or shopping. Then, came Shawqi. They're only 16 months apart so Mr. Hubby and I were raising 2 babies at the same time. I didn't really have time to nag as I was busy rushing here and there everyday. Today they are both in primary school and look like non-identical twins; they're about the same height but Wazif is more fleshy.

However, both are quite chatty and not afraid to speak their minds. Not sure they inherit that trait from which side of the family but they're not like the kids I used to grow up with. Perhaps it's the culture that have changed or the school environment. TV influence could also be among the reasons.

School holidays have started and I enrolled both of them for a drawing class. This morning as I was busy getting ready for work, the kids were having breakfast while playing with their toys. The Pakcik Van who was supposed to pick them up would only arrive in about an hour.

I had too many things to tell them before set out to work; numerous instructions, the do's and don'ts during the parents' absence, how NOT to play with the baby, how NOT to trick the Bibik, this and that. After applying my make up, I realized I was in fact nagging. The funny thing is I found I was talking to myself as both of them were not even paying attention to me. Shawqi was busy with his toys while Wazif was busy with his chicken sandwich.

I stopped nagging for a moment and asked them, 'Korang dengar tak apa mak pesan?'

Shawqi didn't even look up. Wazif turned to me and said, 'Mak, pegi keje.... dah lambat ni.'

I walked out of the house giggling to myself. Hehehehe.

Result exam

Jeng jeng jeng! It's that time of the semester again. Wazif's and Shawqi's results are out but not the complete ones yet. Still have to wait for the school open day to know exactly how they fare this semester.

Sekolah Kebangsaan:
-------------------------
Wazif - No 2 (Last semester was also No 2) - lost to an Indian boy last sem, but this sem he lost to a Malay girl. Frust mamat ni.
Shawqi - No 15 (Last semester was No 22) - yeay, some improvement


Sekolah Agama:
-------------------
Wazif - No 5 (Last semester was No 6) - okaylah, ada sikit improve
Shawqi - No 27 (Last semester was No 26) - makin merudum nampaknya.

We asked Shawqi how many kids are there in his Sekolah Agama class. He refused to tell.

I got a feeling this is going to be the just like his kindy time. One semester he got number 14. I asked him who got last. He didn't answer. I asked him how many kids were there in his class. He didn't answer.
At the end of that semester Shawqi's kindy teacher passed me the class photo. I counted the kids, and yes.... there were 14 of them.

This semester when I questioned him why he got No 27 in class, his answer was, 'Okaylah tu.... dekat-dekat aje dengan nombor 26.)

Hmmm.... itulah pasal mak dia ni selalu meroyan.

More focused

This has been long overdue. I've been planning to have a blog dedicated to health, fitness and women issues since 2006. That was when a few of my friends (including me) started becoming more health conscious after a friend was diagnosed with cancer.

I put if off many times as I didn't really have a lot of material to publish.

Now that I'm struggling (again) with weight and body image, I decided it's about time to make it happen.

So, last night, as I was cuddling the baby to sleep I started a new blog (see, I told you I'm a good multitasker...!)
Here's the URL: http://greysneakersdiaries.blogspot.com

I haven't really finalized what should or should not go there but basically it's going to feature a lot of food (hahahaha).... healthy food lah, recipes, gym stories, health issues, women issues (not including janda gossips) or perhaps exercise equipment.

It should also become my online documentation on my own health condition and my endless struggle to lose weight. I think it's going to benefit a lot of readers.

So, don't forget to bookmark my health and fitness blog yeah? Have a wonderful weekend people!

Back to office - update 2 : Transfer of Technology to the Bibik

Entry ini akan ditulis dalam bahasa rojak sebab petang semalam aku baru lepas makan rojak dekat Jue punya open house. BTW, itulah satu-satunya open house yang aku attend tahun ni sebab yang lain tu semuanya tak sempat nak pegi.
Semalam jumpa Jue sempat jugak gossip-gossip pasal maid. Maid Jue dah nak balik bulan depan, maid aku pulak baru sebulan dok kat sini.

Selama ni aku dok prepare kalau-kalau maid yang datang ni jenis kampungan yang mungkin kat rumah takde api/air, mandi kat perigi dan pakai dapur minyak tanah. Kalau dapat yang kampungan macam tu memang masalah negara sebab nak kena educate pasal electricity, peti ais, guna blender, guna cerek elektrik, mesin basuh etc. Aku siap mintak mak aku bawak sorang perempuan yang berasal dari Indon yang dah lama duduk kat Malaysia untuk tolong ajarkan maid aku ni. Lagipun, oleh kerana aku memang tak pernah hayat hire maid, maka bahasa diorang memang aku sangat kurang arif.

Bila maid ni tiba, rupanya sangkaan aku meleset sekali. Dia ni datang dari kota metropolitan Jakarta. Cakap Indonesia proper, macam yang kita biasa dengar dalam Sinetron tu. Kadang-kadang tu dia cakap campur-campur English sikit. Maka, adalah sangat terkejut masa kali pertama aku terdengar. Masa tu aku nak pegi pasar, aku tanya dia nak beli apa-apa barang dapur tak. Dia pun bagitau aku senarai barang yang nak dibeli, termasuklah daun salam. Aku bagitau dia aku tak gerenti boleh jumpa daun salam kat pasar. Pastu dia cakap, 'Kalau nggak complete bahannya, nggak enak nanti, buk.' Hehehe... ternganga jugak aku masa tu.

Tapi, ada satu malam tu, lagi best. Aku kat dapur tengah basuh botol susu baby. Maid tu kat dalam bilik tengah lipat kain sambil tengok berita kat TV3. Aku terdengar dalam berita tu ada mention pasal Beyonce punya concert kat KL. Tak lama lepas tu aku dengar maid tu nyanyi lagu 'If I were a boy' - lagu Beyonce from latest album! Pendek kata maid aku ni ada sikit-sikit exposure sebagai orang bandar lah. Dia kata rumah dia kat Jakarta, lebih kurang macam kawasan rumah aku ni jugak - dekat dengan bandar besar. Okay jugaklah, at least bila bawak dia pegi shopping complex, takde lah dia kecut perut bila nak naik escalator ataupun lift.

The only weakness yang aku perasan dengan maid ni ialah aku rasa sebelum ni dia tak biasa sangat buat kerja rumah. Masak pun nak kena tunjuk satu persatu. First time dia goreng ikan, habis hangus. Sekarang ni pun bila dia goreng ikan, mesti banyak part yang tak masak. Nasib baik dia pandai masak tempe - makanan rasmi kat rumah aku ni. Kebetulan Mr. Hubby & bebudak ni bukan peminat gulai/kari/masak lemak dan makanan high cholesterol yang sewaktu dengannya. So, setakat boleh masak tempe/nugget/sosej/ayam masak kicap tu dah kira okaylah. Buat masa ni aku still kena tunjuk ajar dia buat masakan yang simple yang anak-anak aku gemar.

TAAAPIIIIII..... part kemas mengemas memang OUT lah maid ni. Aku rasa mungkin kat rumah dia dulu dia sendiri ada maid kot. Dia paling malas nak lap perabot yang mudah berhabuk. Macam pahat dengan penukul. Sekali aku suruh, sekali dia buat. Kalau aku tak suruh, alamatnya sampai seinci habuk kat perabut tu pun, dia buat donno aje. Part susun barang, susun pinggan mangkuk, toksah cerita lah.... Dah bagitau berpuluh-puluh kalipun, tak reti-reti jugak. Last-last aku jugak yang buat sendiri. Sikit hal aje lah setakat susun pinggan ni. Yang penting dia pandai jaga baby dan anak bujang aku dua orang ni.

Oleh kerana aku akan mula kerja dalam 2 minggu lagi, maka aku kena rajin keluar-keluar dan tinggalkan maid ni handle rumah & bebudak ni sendiri. Kalau aku asyik ada kat rumah, nanti bila aku start keje culture shock pulak dia. Sekarang ni aku kena banyak-banyak educate dia pasal safety & security. Part safety, maid ni boleh kira dah alert jugak lah sebab dia dah biasa jaga anak-anak dia. Tapi, part security agak mencabar jugak nak explain kat dia. Mungkin kawasan rumah dia tak banyak kes jenayah kot.

Maka selepas update blog ni, aku akan keluar, buat apa yang patut, shopping sakan contohnya. Pastu, balik karang check apa yang patut kat rumah ni. Pastu educate lagi maid ni on the dos and don'ts. Isy, banyak jugak kerja aku sekarang. Busy nih.... kalah wakil rakyat.

Back to office checklist

I have less than 20 days left of my maternity leave. It's time to start doing physical and mental preparation to go back to office and working life. I'm going to miss lazying around in front of the idiot box, that's for sure. After more than 6 weeks of having home cooked food, I know it's going to take some time for my taste buds to adjust to warung/restaurant/fast food for lunch again.

Things to be done before going back to office:

1. Retrieve my heels and sandals I put away some 9 months ago. It's time to rummage the store, my wardrobe as well as Wazif and Shawqi's. I remember putting them in a few places. Hope none of them was accidentally thrown away.

2. Rearrange my wardrobe since most of my work clothes have been pushed to the loneliest corner since I was 6 months' pregger. It's time to restore things back to their original arrangement - color coded, matching pants/blouse next to each other etc.

3. Wash and wax the car. You can draw Spongebob clearly on my car - that's how comot it is currently.

4. Go out more often during daytime to help the bibik getting used to my not being around the house. (Hint! Hint! Oi my geng gossip.... mari pegi lunch/tea/hi tea).

5. Prepare a new schedule for the bibik as currently I'm still doing some of the chores.

6. Search for more simple recipes to prepare the boys' lunch in the morning (how ambitious) before I set out to work.

7. Shop for new scarves because my tudungs are so old fashioned. I don't have a single tudung Ekin - tak vogue la kan...

8. VPN to office and delete emails. I'd rather start working by doing real work than sitting for hours deleting outdated emails and trying to compact the mail database.

9. Browse the company address book/directory to recall work colleague names and faces. I forget names and faces easily (especially orang yang tak ada kepentingan, kan...)

10. Update iTunes library because back to office also means back to gymming.

11. Call people in the office to make sure all my lunch partners are still working there, otherwise nanti terkulat-kulat pulak aku on the first day at work, kan?


Will update this checklist if I remember to do other things as well. Now back to afternoon soap opera on the idiot box. *Yawn*

Do you think I'm obese?

Brought baby Zarif to see the paediatrician at the hospital yesterday. He was in a good mood and slept through the journey. We also didn't have to wait outside the doctor's room long before Zarif's name was called. The nurse weighed him and took his measurement. As I expected, he's already at 5kg ++. All my kids grew quite fast in their first few months. Wazif and Shawqi also weighed 5kg ++ when they were 1 month old.

We have been seeing the same paediatrician since 8 years ago. She was Wazif's and Shawqi's paedy as well. She asked me about Zarif's feeding pattern and bowel movement. When I told her that I'm feeding him every 2 hours she advised me to reduce it to once every 4 hours as the baby's weight fell under obese category. She showed me the growth chart and Zarif's weight was almost at the obese threshold.

Perhaps it's a new thing that I'm not aware of (ye lah, dah 7 tahun tak beranak). Now I have to be a bit strict with Zarif's diet. I feed him with 3 ounces of milk every 4 hours. In between them, I give him 3 ounces of water mixed with 1 scoop of milk powder only. And, oh yeah...I forgot to mention that I don't breastfeed the baby anymore due to some problems. Frankly speaking I've been having problems with breastfeeding since Wazif. I ended up pumping the milk and bottlefeed my babies.

My gynae and the paedy kept on encouraging me to breastfeed but I think I'm one of those mothers who's just unlucky. I tried the tips and methods suggested by the breastfeeding consultant but still failed. This is not about trying to 'jaga body' by not breastfeeding, this is simply a case of 'failed to breastfeed'. So, please don't criticize me. Every woman wants to be a good mother but some things are just fated and absolutely out of our control.


Nama saya Zarif, saya suka tidur... tapi saya rasa saya tak obese lah.... Peace!

Stomach in - chest out : Ikat bengkung

I don't have to wear bengkung (traditional tummy binder), instead I only use the abdominal support/binder recommended by my gynae. Frankly, it's cheaper than the commercial binder for mothers who had to undergo C-sect. Surprisingly, it's as effective as the traditional solution and more convenient as it doesn't have tali-tali yang berjela-jela - it's using velcro for fastening.

The result can be seen overnight - seriously. The gynae made me wear it on day 02 of the op and then on day 03, my tummy has became noticeably smaller. It also helped the uterus contracting back to it's original size. On the next follow up session (day 09) my uterus has only a few more cm to go.

Using a modern binder was one of the things I discovered that can be safely used by moms who underwent C-sect. After 2 births and a lot of asking around (yeah, gossip sessions benefit me a lot!!), I have also discovered that some traditional treatments can be done contrary to some beliefs that C-sect will prohibit the mommies from being touched by tukang urut.

After discussing with my girlfriends I decided to hire a Confinement Lady. I asked a few friends for recommendation and participated in a few forums to read other people's experience. It was quite scary at first when some people wrote about their CL who didn't allow them to sleep with the lights on and they had to eat nasik sejuk because the CL malas masak.

I decided to hire this blogger punya makcik. Her makcik's contact number can be found on that blog. I chose her for one simple reason; if the CL's niece and sister are pretty, there must be some treasured beauty secrets in the family. Hehehe. Dengan harapan, kalau dia jaga aku, akupun jadi 'ganteng' jugaklah...

You know what, trusting your own instinct is the most important thing when it comes to making decisions. When I first met the CL, I knew I could trust her. During the first meeting, she briefed me on the types of treatment and the rest of the services she's providing e.g cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and taking care of the baby.

On the day I was discharged from hospital the CL came to my house and started with all the treatment. I hired her for 14 days, so I had herbal bath, bertangas, bertungku and massage everyday. Her package also include twice mandi lulur (traditional scrub), air kunyit and air bandrek. The two 'out-of-this-world' drinks were not easy to gulp. I'd rather have the whole bottle of Scott's Emulsion than to drink those two.

The CL cooked simple meals for me for lunch and dinner. I only have hot milo and Jacobs crackers for breakfast, tea break and supper. Besides that she also helped prepare meals for my family to break fast and sahur. My family enjoyed her cooking especially Wazif because she cooked the best nasi lemak (menurut pendapat Wazif la, sebab favorite dia memang nasik lemak).

Since this was the first time I was getting such treatments I can't do much comparison. However, I noticed that I was feeling a lot healthier during this confinement period than my previous 2. The herbal bath helped a lot to rejuvenate the body and calm the mind. Bertangas helped to burn the extra calories and good for blood circulation. Her massage was very good (tapi terjerit-jerit jugak menahan sakit). Her philosophy is simple, we don't need to get too many sessions of massage. If there's a problematic area/vein/muscle etc, it should be tackled on the spot. Although the massage hurt a bit but I could sleep well at night. I didn't feel the usual soreness. My hubby asked whether she had any 'baca-baca'; I didn't think so because during every treatment session what we did was gossipping. (Oh man... sapa-sapa pun boleh jadi aku punya geng gossip).

I loved the mandi lulur very much simply because I'm the type who usually spend less than 10 minutes in the shower. Imagine how much 'daki' has accumulated. After being scrubbed (dengan bahan lulur yang sangat wangi - bau macam biskut raya) I felt clean and my skin was as smooth as model iklan Lux.

All in all, she's highly recommended for her professionalism, skills and quality of service. If you decided to hire her or any CL, make sure to have a meeting a few months before your EDD to discuss the arrangement. What worked for me might not suit you. Early understanding should be established between you and the CL to avoid miscomm and to set your expectations right.

Sekian, terima kasih.

Oh, BTW... my baby boy's name is Muhammad Zarif Lukman. Here's 21 days' old Zarif:

Hello World!

I was admitted to the hospital on Monday night, 24th August as preparation for an early morning C-section op the next day. I had problem sleeping as the baby continued on kicking and moving throughout the night. My friend thought that perhaps the baby was too excited to see the world earlier than the actual EDD. At around 12.30 am my gynae paid me a visit and offered some medicine to induce sleep. I said no because I've tried it during my first child birth and it didn't work. Finally I managed to get about 2 hours of quality sleep.

I woke up at around 6a.m the next morning to continue with the preparation. The nurses came into my room at 6.15 and I was already in hospital gown. The preparation took about 1 hour and I was wheeled to the operating theater at around 7.45 a.m.

All the while I was calm about the whole pregnancy thing but once the anaes started briefing on the spinal (lebih kurang epidural le tu) procedure he's about to perform, I became nervous - especially when he mentioned about the risks. Sungguh seriau rasanya.

When he poked me with the needle it was painless (sebab dia dah jab painkiller dulu). The nurses put a small blue drape in front of my face so that I'll not witness the whole procedure taking place on my lower abdomen. I felt movement and tugging throughout the procedure while the gynae, paediatrician, anaes and nurses were busy gossiping. I joined the gossiping and tried not to imagine what was taking place on the other side of the blue drape. However, at one point I could see blood spots on the drape, luckily not too much of them. Otherwise, mesti dah panic gile. A friend just told me the gory detail of her last C-sect where she was bleeding sampai kena tadah dengan baldi. Oh, gila punya seriau.

After the baby was pulled out and clean, I was given drug to start uterus contraction. This was when I could feel my face flushing, my ears felt hot and at the same time, small shivers started on my upper body. It was a very different experience from my previous C-sect. Usually the shivers only started when I was pushed to recovery area. Perhaps, this time different drugs were used.

The uterus contraction turned out to be so intense, I was in pain when I arrived at the recovery area. Even with numb feet, thighs and abdomen I could feel the uterus contracting. When I arrived at my room I was already asking the nurses for painkillers.

But as people always told you, once you held the baby all pain will be gone. That afternoon, when I saw my third boy in his cot being wheeled into my room the pain was slowly forgotten.


02nd September 09


25th August 09.

I have no idea how come my boy's hair nampak macam Aliff Aziz.