Well, that's the best description of my first half of 2011. There were so many things going on. So many things on my plate. So little time to really focus on each one. And I ended up feeling so tired. I need a long holiday, but now it's not the suitable time. In fact, I'm not taking any long holiday this year because of a few reasons.
So, I'll just take half day off now and then, depending on my schedule. Overlapping appointment is the thing I hate most. With all these calendering system, electronic meeting invitation etc, people still invited me blindly, didn't really bother to check for slot availability. When I reject their invitation, they feel offended.
I just don't get Malaysian time management. They can choose to arrive 45 late to appointments, but get offended when people reject their last minute meeting invitations. *Pbfftttttt!*
It was in the news yesterday that Malaysian women are at number 16 in the list of most depressed women in this whole world. Indian women are on top of the list, followed by our Mexican friends.
So, why are Malaysian women so depressed that we managed to beat Malaysian football team world ranking? If you are a woman like me, you'd know the answer. The stress we are experiencing are coming from all angles. There's no way we can escape, and the only choice left is to deal with them. If I escape, that would mean I'm a quitter. If I deal with them, they usually add more to the stress. If I ignore them, I'd be accused of being irresponsible. So, which one should I choose?
So far, the best option is still to deal with them - all of them.
Society's expectation of working mothers are just absurd. Most of the time, people just tend to forget that working mothers are human just like the rest.
But how often do we read in the news about stressed working moms in Malaysia who committed suicide? Any statistics available?
There was one case reported by Malaysian newspapers a few months ago, but it was claimed that the woman was mentally unstable. The daughter had to witness her mother committed suicide. Aaaah...another stress the daughter would have to live with for the rest of her life.
Sometimes, I wished I lived as a working mum in the 1970s. Or, I didn't even have to work, but stayed at home and had gossip sessions in the afternoons with my neighbours. I imagined, the kids will be at school in the morning, while I cooked, cleaned and had my morning tea breaks. In the afternoon they'd be at the religious school, while I watched soap opera on TV. But hey, there's no ASTRO back in the 70s. So, I'll be probably watching TV pendidikan while folding the clothes.
But that's just my imagination.
But sometimes, it helps to have all these imaginations. When I started reading Growing up in Trengganu, and Map of Trengganu, both books brought back old memories of the 1970s, living in a kampung and day time used to be so damn long. There are a few chapters from Map of Trengganu that I reread because I really enjoyed going back to those times (virtually - only in my mind).
What I'm trying to tell here is that, sometimes, if you really feel that you are troubled and can't escape from all these stress, just psych yourself with some good books and the next day, you're ready to face life again.
Sekian, terima kasih.