Frankly speaking mushy gushy stuffs really scare me. I've only received flowers twice in my entire life. I always told the guys I went out with, please don't give me flowers. It's not that I hated flowers, I love them. It's just that I never knew how I should react if somebody handed me flowers. Argh... of all the things... flowers? It would be funny to receive them, right? For people like me... who always acted macho, heartless and didn't really care what's happening to the rest of the world.
Imagine this, some cute guy suddenly decide to give me flowers for whatever occasion there might be. How should I react? Let's pretend I'm still single and available, ok....
Cute-guy1: Dee, I'd like you to have this (he took out a bunch of pink roses that he kept hidden in his trench coat... kononnya the scene took place in a 4-season city le ni..)
Dee : Wow, I never knew you're that rich. Who's paying for dinner?
Note: I believe in load sharing. If he drives, I'll pay for dinner. If I drive, he'll pay for dinner, toll, gas, parking, sedekah kat O.K.U yg jual tissue etc.
Cute-guy2: Dee, these are for you.
Dee : Wow, they're beautiful.
Cute-guy2: Well, they're not as beautiful as you.
Dee : Yeah, let's just cut the crap. If you want sex, just tell me straight in the face. And in case you plan to do that, the answer is NO.
Note: I don't believe in fake compliments, although I know 'kejelitaan adalah hak milik setiap insan', I could tell whether he's sincere.
Cute-guy3: Dee, for this special occassion, I want you to have these...
Dee : Oh, you don't have to. That must've costed you a fortune.
Cute-guy3: It's nothing compared to the light I see in your eyes.
Dee : Errr... what I meant to say was, it would be nicer if you could get me those nice dri-fit training shirts instead of wasting money on something that I couldn't even eat.
Note: Flowers aren't edible to us, okay.
Cute-guy4: Dee, I love you so much. These are for you...
Dee : Hey, I love daisies. How did you know?
Cute-guy4: I did my homework, okay...
Dee : But, I thought people give roses for Valentine.
Cute-guy4: I figured out you love daisies, so I got you daisies.
Dee : But, I love roses too. Maybe you should be doing MORE homework.
Note: If you don't know me by know. You will never, never, never know meeeee... wuuuuhuuuuuuuuuu.....
So, moral of the stories is, don't give me flowers for any occassion because I prefer:
- expensive chocolate
- expensive leather handbag
- expensive and up-to-date electronic gadgets
- loads and loads of audio CD (urban crossover, okay)
- THAT Mini cooper (oh yesss!)
- a 5-days vacation at a beach resort
Well, to single guys out there, thank god I'm not available.
To my hubby.... I still want that Mini Cooper, okay...