Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The marriage institution and what's the story with this balloony thing?

On Tuesday morning, my work colleagues were greeted by a hot air balloon parked next to the office. It turned out some guy was proposing to one of my female colleagues. It was really grand and impressive; with a huge banner bearing the words ‘Will you marry me’ installed across the balloon. The female colleague was driven to office blindfolded that morning as it was supposed to be a huge surprise for her.


However, the rest of my officemates were not surprised at all because this couple has been engaged for years and the whole world knows they’re getting married in 2 weeks’ time. Everybody just didn’t get it; why was it necessary to put up all that drama – in front of the office?


When the blindfold was taken off, the girl of course cried lah realizing how sweet her fiancé was. Or maybe she just realized that the whole crowd was staring at her and she hadn’t put her make up on that morning.


After that the fiancé went down on his knees to propose (again, for the hundredth time, maybe…) Not sure how big the rock was, but hello… everybody knew you’re already engaged; what’s the point?


The whole drama took place during rush hour, when many people started arriving to work while some were having breakfast at the café (which has a large window and all the minah kepochi pinned themselves to the glass to witness the whole thing).


Soon after every minah and mamat kepochi started ‘sok-sek-sok-sek’ing among themselves; ‘how much does it cost?’, ‘weren’t they already engaged?’, ‘how rich is this guy?’, ‘are they really getting married?’, ‘how long do you think they will last?’,'i get the feeling this guy is trying to compensate his shortage in other departments, lah'. Ye mulut-mulut mereka ini memang jahat. Tapi saya lagi jahat sebab saya pegi publish kat sini.

By the way, this same guy usually gives really huge bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s and the girl’s birthday. The bouquets were always delivered to our office front desk and they conveniently arrived right before lunch hour when 90% of us would pass by and wondered whom they’re for. All the minah kepochi (e.g yours truly) will surely go to check the cards out and sometimes have a smell of the white/red/yellow roses.

I have nothing against the girl; although I don’t know her that well, she’s the friendly and polite type. I just don’t approve all these Public Display of Wealth/Affection/Extravagant things.

As my mom likes to put it:  ‘Jangan tak cukup sangat, nanti tak habis.’ Loosely translated: ‘Don’t be too impatient and greedy, you might end up unable to finish/handle them.’ This is her way of ‘menyindir secara halus’, usually when she’s trying to tell her children and grand children to avoid PDA and sex before marriage.

My point here is that there’s nothing wrong with making your future wife happy, but can’t you just keep it among yourselves and maybe your close friends? People are not jealous of the whole thing; it’s just that some of us have started wondering how the marriage will turn out. 

Well, you see, you can’t make a marriage successful with roses, chocolate or hot air balloons. There are a lot more things to be learned about and from each other after the ‘akad nikah’. The adaptation phase alone might take 1 month or 10 years, depending on how well you communicate with your spouse.

If you are lucky and work hard to make the marriage work, in 50 years time you might find yourselves still as lovey dovey as the first time you uttered the word ‘I love you’. Otherwise, you could be shouting at each other and exchanging cold shoulders whenever both are in the same room. If you are really lucky you’ll still be having sex after 30 years; however in some cases the wives will find every excuse not to part with their panties while the husbands started becoming ‘ahli JKKK Kampung yang sangat penting’. Every night got meeting, maaaa…. Won’t even have time to kiss the wife good night. 

My principle is simple, when it comes to all this courting, engagement and weddings – K.I.S.S – Keep It Simple, Stupid; because marriage is such a complex institution that you have to deal with, where two lives and two families will be joined and later have to stand and accommodate each other. So, save all the money you have for the long honeymoon so that you can get away from all your kepochi relatives for at least 3 weeks.

Sekian and Selamat Pengantin Baru to the couple who were riding the hot air balloon. 


Zara in Germany said...

well, atleast the penyewa belon was happy...

D.N.A.S said...

Ha'ah, the rent alone is a few thousand RM, kan?
Maybe they're helping to promote their friends' business lah kot.

6ky Angel said...

very good writing kak dayang...

ANEEZ ALI said...

hahahahah..agaknya diaorg ingat diaorg je yang kawin kot dalam dunia ni..nanti bile dah kawin taula langit tinggi ke rendah...belon ke mana, bunga ke mana...nampak sangat over riak...hahahahaha

D.N.A.S said...

6ky angel,
saya agak emo sebenarnya. Hehehe.

I tengah tunggu, Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan ada nak keluarkan apa-apa fatwa tak berkaitan perlakuan melamar yang terlalu kebaratan dan keterlaluan sebegini. Kalau ikut hukum syarak, memang sangat tidak kena.....

mummy Darin said...

huh, sib baik selamat mendaratlah dengan hot air ballonnya.. kalau tersangkut kat pokok ke, patah tangan/kaki, rasanya jadik kahwin tak??

darlene said...


i swear i didnt see this post before posting my silly hot air balloon entry or even before i replied to your comment in my blog.

(did we posted our entry at about the same time that night? i wasn't really planning mine, just suka2 post referring to my project proposals)

i'm LMAO of the coincidence.

i baru sempat baca this entry saja, will surely come back and check out the rest of your blog.

you have a good day :).

all jazzed up said...

Agak bodoh la kalau 2 years engaged, lagi 2 weeks nak kawin baru nak letak belon tu. Takde maknanya...

Marliza Radzi. said...

"Or maybe she just realized that the whole crowd was staring at her and she hadn’t put her make up on that morning" hahahaha! kelakar okay!

bestnya kalau ada drama begini di ofisku yang bosan ini!

bestlah entri ni!

Spena said...

Dayang, kau tak mintak nak naik belon free ke? best gak tu...dari membazir je buat tayang.

D.N.A.S said...

Mummy darin,
itulah pasal.... darah tengah manisssss, kan?

it's pure coincidence.

well... you know..... saja nak kasi gempak.
Anyway, I also heard 'sok-sek-sok-sek' that the guy sangat bangga becoz he won the girl. Not sure how many guys were competing, lah. The girl is one of the hot chicks in the office. Maybe that explains all the showing-off displayed within the vicinity of our office.

D.N.A.S said...

mmg betul, dia belum sempat pakai mekap pagi itu. Hehehehe.

aku takut bila aku naik, silap-silap belon tu tak boleh naik pun. Haha.

Cosmic_GurL said...

My god! Seriously how much does it cost to do all tht???!! Baik duit tu simpan buat downpayment beli rumah lepas kawin lagi elok..hehehe..bila duit tu dah berlambak2 and tak tau nak buat apa ni lah jadiknyer

Anonymous said...

melayu ke?


east43street said...

It is probably expensive to pay, but it is actually a very cheap publicity. Yusof Haslam should make a movie out of this.

anon said...

hahah to eavh his / her own baby.

Zinndra said...

Dear DNAS,

I couldn't agree more. Marriage proposal shouldn't be commercialize. Sometimes, when a guy "show-off" in the public, I couldn't help but think he just wanted to be envied. Flowers, chocolates and hot air balloons may mean a lot to a would-be-wifey but all those things are just stuff that would add color to the relationship. The more important thing is how the couple could relate and adjust well to each other's behaviour, especially after the honeymoon period. Effective communication, understanding and emphatizing are some of the basic foundation that i guess would take us a lifetime to practice.

faiezspeaks said...

Hahahah, takde makna nak propose kalau dah 2 years engaged melainkan nak beriak-riak kat situ, hahah! Kalau malay couple la, kalau non malay... dia takde istilah riak dlm dictionary they all la kan :D

It's sad really, when what people strive to achive in life is material wise semata-mata. But then what to do, we live in a material world (well at least kat Mesia lah, kat sini org tak heran benda2 material ni hahaha)

nikfarizah said...

Very good writing..menghilangkan kebosanan yang melanda..hehe

Anonymous said...

Bagi i, kite x kenal hati budi diorang, care mamat tuh wat surorise tuh ade baik and ade buruknye, kite xleh la judge terus..xleh tengok negative side jer... i disagree bile ramai yang xsuke pasal belon+bunge+coklat tuh.. bukannye ape for me.. the good thing is he shows how much he love the girl,maybe itu care die nak tunjukkan kasih sayang die because he's proud that she's gonna be his wife,eventho 2 minggu lg sebelum kawen,its romantic what...lg buat hati pompuan tu berdegup kencang,and secara directnya bende2 yang buat sume nih actualy me-motivate kan diri dier..don't leave the girl! kalau dier tinggalkan gak and perkahwenan hancuzzz sia2 jer la sume 'pertunjukkan' yang die wat tuh... and.. yang tak baiknye,memang betul die patutnye jangn 'publish' sangat aksi belon tuh.. bak kata pepatah 'ayam bertelur sebiji,riuh sekampung' so basically... bende yang terjadi ni is up to the person ade positive dan negative,kalau yang ske tuh bolehla kayekan lagi tokeh belon tuh and for those who don't really like it,jadikan sebagai pengajaran kalau nak bagi special kat pasangan buatla berpada-pada iyer x? okeh...slamat maju jaye!!!!!!

positive thinker