The marriage institution and what's the story with this balloony thing?

On Tuesday morning, my work colleagues were greeted by a hot air balloon parked next to the office. It turned out some guy was proposing to one of my female colleagues. It was really grand and impressive; with a huge banner bearing the words ‘Will you marry me’ installed across the balloon. The female colleague was driven to office blindfolded that morning as it was supposed to be a huge surprise for her.

 

However, the rest of my officemates were not surprised at all because this couple has been engaged for years and the whole world knows they’re getting married in 2 weeks’ time. Everybody just didn’t get it; why was it necessary to put up all that drama – in front of the office?

 

When the blindfold was taken off, the girl of course cried lah realizing how sweet her fiancé was. Or maybe she just realized that the whole crowd was staring at her and she hadn’t put her make up on that morning.

 

After that the fiancé went down on his knees to propose (again, for the hundredth time, maybe…) Not sure how big the rock was, but hello… everybody knew you’re already engaged; what’s the point?

 

The whole drama took place during rush hour, when many people started arriving to work while some were having breakfast at the café (which has a large window and all the minah kepochi pinned themselves to the glass to witness the whole thing).

 

Soon after every minah and mamat kepochi started ‘sok-sek-sok-sek’ing among themselves; ‘how much does it cost?’, ‘weren’t they already engaged?’, ‘how rich is this guy?’, ‘are they really getting married?’, ‘how long do you think they will last?’,'i get the feeling this guy is trying to compensate his shortage in other departments, lah'. Ye mulut-mulut mereka ini memang jahat. Tapi saya lagi jahat sebab saya pegi publish kat sini.

By the way, this same guy usually gives really huge bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s and the girl’s birthday. The bouquets were always delivered to our office front desk and they conveniently arrived right before lunch hour when 90% of us would pass by and wondered whom they’re for. All the minah kepochi (e.g yours truly) will surely go to check the cards out and sometimes have a smell of the white/red/yellow roses.

I have nothing against the girl; although I don’t know her that well, she’s the friendly and polite type. I just don’t approve all these Public Display of Wealth/Affection/Extravagant things.

As my mom likes to put it:  ‘Jangan tak cukup sangat, nanti tak habis.’ Loosely translated: ‘Don’t be too impatient and greedy, you might end up unable to finish/handle them.’ This is her way of ‘menyindir secara halus’, usually when she’s trying to tell her children and grand children to avoid PDA and sex before marriage.

My point here is that there’s nothing wrong with making your future wife happy, but can’t you just keep it among yourselves and maybe your close friends? People are not jealous of the whole thing; it’s just that some of us have started wondering how the marriage will turn out. 

Well, you see, you can’t make a marriage successful with roses, chocolate or hot air balloons. There are a lot more things to be learned about and from each other after the ‘akad nikah’. The adaptation phase alone might take 1 month or 10 years, depending on how well you communicate with your spouse.

If you are lucky and work hard to make the marriage work, in 50 years time you might find yourselves still as lovey dovey as the first time you uttered the word ‘I love you’. Otherwise, you could be shouting at each other and exchanging cold shoulders whenever both are in the same room. If you are really lucky you’ll still be having sex after 30 years; however in some cases the wives will find every excuse not to part with their panties while the husbands started becoming ‘ahli JKKK Kampung yang sangat penting’. Every night got meeting, maaaa…. Won’t even have time to kiss the wife good night. 

My principle is simple, when it comes to all this courting, engagement and weddings – K.I.S.S – Keep It Simple, Stupid; because marriage is such a complex institution that you have to deal with, where two lives and two families will be joined and later have to stand and accommodate each other. So, save all the money you have for the long honeymoon so that you can get away from all your kepochi relatives for at least 3 weeks.

Sekian and Selamat Pengantin Baru to the couple who were riding the hot air balloon.