Kerudung Dilemma

I woke up one morning and thought that I should revamp my wardrobe. The next day, I went to Flow and bought 3 new tops. The next week, I bought 3 cardigans from Ms. Read and M&S. Then I bought a casual jacket from Dorothy Perkins. Don't get me wrong, I didn't spend much on these new clothes. They were all on sale. After a few weeks of shopping and 12 mix and match combination later, the damage was still below RM1K.
Next, I bought flats from Charles & Keith (that was also on sale!). So, with all the new combination of top, cardigan, (existing) pants and flats, something was still missing, I think. I needed new tudungs. So, I went to buy 5 'tudung awning' at this new shop called Qaseh in Shah Alam. So, by then I have 12 X 5 mix and match combination - that's a whole new wardrobe to me. I was happy.
But, as most men claim, women are insatiable. I started flipping through fashion magazines, looking for something that I thought was still missing. Then I decided to buy Hijabista. It's a new fashion magazine for women who wear hijab. My first impression was, oh well, these hijab styles are waaaaay too advance for me. Some are quite ridiculous while some doesn't really serve the purpose to cover our aurat. Although I couldn't find the style I wanted, I still went to do some shopping in Shah Alam. Managed to get 2 silk shawls and 2 inners.
Next, I went through about 20 hijab tutorials on YouTube. Again, I was so surprised to learn that these women actually spend about 10 minutes to wear hijab. I don't have that much time in the morning. Frankly, I only spend 5 minutes in the shower and 5 minutes to get into my clothes and apply simple make-up. 15-20 minutes is spent waking up and preparing Zarif before driving him off to the day care. Simply put, I don't have much time for myself on most mornings. How am I going to commit 10 minutes to wear hijab?
So, I searched for the most basic hijab wearing style. After a few hours of practice, I managed to wear one style easily and it took me less than 2 minutes.
With 1 silk shawl, 1 inner and 2 small brooches, here's the result:

Tudung style ini akan berterbangan bila ditiup angin ...

It's your choice

There's no ugly woman in this world, there are few lazy ones who think they're too busy to look beautiful. Many years ago I suffered this cronic disease called 'I'm fat, therefore I must hide.' In 1999 I discovered Ms Read at Jusco One Utama. I bought a blouse and a jacket that year. I still remember the price of the blouse, it was RM80. That was the most expensive blouse I ever bought back then. The jacket was around RM160 after 20% less. Both of them has done a lot to me and my self image. They're still good until today, at times I still wear the jacket, but the blouse is too transparent and since I don't have any suitable inner wear I decided to retire it. Some lucky woman in Cambodia might be wearing it to the market this week, I don't know. 

This is not a brand promotion, I'm just sharing my experience as a plus sized woman who was just too tired of the local fashion scene and unavailability of good clothing for big girls. 

There was a time when I bought really loose blouses and pants from pasar malam/kedai pakaian hari-hari and even men's wear department just because they fit. Most didn't fit that well, they just made me ugly but comfy. 

After 12 years becoming their loyal customer, I've been updating my wardrobe with their collection every quarter. Most people thought my attire was from Marks and Spencer but looked a lot nicer. There's not much variety at M&S outlets here, especially work shirts and slacks. I got my casual clothes from M&S most of the times.

Besides Ms Read, Big Brown Bag is not too bad. Although some of the cuts don't really suit me, but I kinda like their skirts, especially those bias ones. Debenham's work clothes are also quite nice and you can get them at very attractive prices during Malaysia Mega Sales.

All in all, these days big girls in Malaysia have the choice to wear good clothes (though not branded ones like Prada or Gucci). Now there's no more excuse to wear baggy clothes and look like you're attending slumber party.

BTW, I've met the model in the Ms Read advert above in real life and she's really gorgeous. I think she's a size 12. For someone who wears size 16 (and some designs size 18) I'm so proud of her.

My fat clothes

A few weeks ago my friends bought two pants, one her size while the other was one size bigger. Both were the same design and color. I asked her why. She told me the one in her size was for her pretty days, the bigger one was for her fat days. 

Ok, that makes sense.

We all have our 'slim jeans' and fat clothes somewhere in the wardrobe. I keep my fat clothes at the farthest corner as I try not to wear them too often. They make us feel complacent, ok and then start to feel lazy to go and exercise. 

But that doesn't stop me from buying more fat clothes. They come in very handy on days when I feel too bloated and conscious of my extra KGs (as if those KGs were not there on our pretty days). 

So, I bought this black crepe jubah from the same online store I mentioned in my earlier post. It's supposed to be my fat clothes for khenduri. Well, I'm also planning to wear it to khenduris which I know would serve really-really nice food that I might go for 3rd and 4th servings!! Haha, matilamak nak burn calories tu nanti!

So, here's me in my fat jubah on my fat day. Look how slim Mr Hubby is! Jealous, ok!! Arghhh... tomorrow must go to gym and burn 500calories.

So, what else is good for mental health?

Don't waste your money on shrinks or any medication. I've stopped believing in counselling, shrinks, psychiatrists etc long time ago. It's just so irritating to hear someone telling you, 'Now, let's look at this from another perspective'. When I'm frustrated, angry, sad or just simply emo I don't wanna know about other perspectives or angle. I just wanna let it out of my system. I don't want people to tell me to stay positive because I need to stay negative so that I'll feel free to let my anger out and only then I'd heal better.

If you're anything like me, try these:

Comfort food. E.g donuts....

Geng gossip....the more the merrier... the richer their vocab, the better... (kerana bila mengumpat, semua cerita mesti di exaggerate kan dengan vocab yang canggih...)

Comfort food + kopi mahal. The more expensive, the better....

Geng melalak.... preferably yang ada semua membership card. (Contohnya, awek dalam gambar ni.... hehehe)

High cholesterol food....

Beautify yourself...

Buff your nails... wear blings... wear a biiiig smile..

Some more fooooooood....

Friends with pretty nails....who knows which beauty products to try.

Next time you're feeling miserable, follow my advice.... binge, gossip, melalak and pamper yourself. And don't waste your time and tears on some unworthy guy. Betul dik, dengarlah cakap akak ni. Keep your girlfriends close even if you're married to the bestest gentleman in this world.

Akhir kata, good luck to Jade yang bakal jadik pengantin.

Five In One

This is one of the weeks when I have so many things to share, yet too little time to write.

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1. Tak larat

This phrase was widely used in my high school-STF to express the feeling of indescribable flattering that the whole body feels wobbly like jelly.
I was ‘tak larat’ last Thursday when I realized my article was published at D1na Zaman’s iammuslim2 website. That day I didn’t have internet connection, as I was stuck in a darn cold data center and having to work in between the equipment racks – standing up. Then right before lunch, a guy I just got to know a week ago called me, asking:

‘Is this you at D1na’s blog?’
It took me a while to make out what he’s talking about.

‘You mean in the comment box?’ I asked to confirm.

‘No, today’s article. They put your name in this article.’

‘They put which name? My blog name?’ Yes, I have a few cybernames.

‘No, not that one, they put your other name?’ Hmmm… ok… that’s confusing, what other name he meant?

‘Are you sure it's me? Did they put my picture there?’ I asked jokingly.

‘No, no pictures. But I think this is your article.’ He’s really anxious to know.

‘Well, I’m not sure that’s mine. Let me check first and I’ll tell you later.’

Hell, I already knew that it was my article, because the Editor emailed me to confirm which name I preferred to be made public. Hehe. I just enjoyed torturing that guy. Hahahahah. Later that day, at about 7pm, I texted him to confirm that it was my writing. When I checked the blog again, I saw that he has left a comment there, and guess what, he happened to be one of those anonymous bloggers with really admirable writing style, whom I’ve been dying to know who. That left me quite in shock but really excited for a few minutes.

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2. Putra He1ghts Fiesta

I was so engrossed reading my Cleo magazine in the car and didn’t realize that Mr. Hubby had driven us to Putra Heights on Sunday afternoon (yes, I was reading that 50 most eligible bachelors’ issue with full concentration that I was not aware of my surroundings! Hehe)




So, there was a fiesta organized by the housing developer, I believe. We went from one booth to another to check out the newly launched phases. Most of them were linked houses ranging from 24 X 75 to huge semi-Ds that I know I can never afford to buy in this lifetime (the link house’s price starts from RM399K – bumi might get about RM350K lah I think). Anyway, I had no interest in the houses; I was watching a group of kids riding mini-bikes in a small circuit. They’re so cute, aren’t they?



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3. I’m Posh

It’s been many months since my last hair cut, it has grown long that I have problem tying them and covering them with my scarves. I was also starting to hate it when it took almost an hour to dry (I hate to blow-dry, please don’t recommend me to use it).
Yesterday, after breakfast I told Mr. Hubby that I want to cut my hair short. He asked which style. I said I want the Victoria Bekham hair. That was when he made the frozen-in-time look (you know, eyes widened, mouth half opened and stopped his hands in mid-air). I just ignored it.
I went to SACC, Shah Alam to have the cut. Luckily, they have the style in one of the Japanese hair magazines they showed me. I pointed to the picture and told them I wanted that cut.
The stylist was good. It took her less than 15 minutes to have my hair done. After some blowing and applying some unknown hair cream, she held the big mirror and let me have a look at my new hair from every angle. Well, the end result was satisfying, only that I looked more like Misha Omar (plus 30 kg) than Victoria Bekham. I asked the stylist if she could make my hair about 1cm above the shirt collar, and her reply was:
‘Aiya, cannot aaah miss. Your face tak sesuai lah.’

Later on when I told that to Mr. Hubby, he said what the stylist really meant was, I’m too fat for that style. Hahahah… yeah…I know how skinny Mrs. Bekham is. Anyway, the Misha Omar look is not bad at all.

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4. Magic plant

There was a pot of plant on my office desk that had been in a state of ‘hidup segan mati tak mahu’ for months. I watered it 3 times a week but it was not showing any positive sign to grow healthily like those I have in my laman. Actually this small pot was taken from my house, so maybe it was due to the office aircond or negative vibes here that it refused to live well. My floormates have been asking me on what’s happening to my plant, whether it’s surviving or dying soon. I just told them to be patient and give it sometime because I know with regular watering and care it will turn out okay.


When I came to the office this morning, I had a surprise of my life. I saw the same pot on my desk, but it was a different plant inside it. I asked around but nobody seemed to know who put it there, they expected I’ve brought a new one. It was impossible as I’ve been at customer’s place for many days. Hmmm… now I need to shoot out the email to find out the mysterious person who was kind enough to give me this plant and must thank him/her for such a hart warming gesture.



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5. Vaginapalooza

As promised to Azer, I am putting up this topic here. It’s an article I found while browsing ivillage.com – the ultimate women’s reference site. Go there and read it, then after you’re done throwing up or cursing, come back here and tell me what you think, okay? *wink* *wink*

Recommend please...

I looked really closely at my face in the washroom mirror this morning, and I saw a few fine lines under my eyes. Then, I looked again... and again... and again... and realized that I suddenly looked 60 (although inside still felt like 18, okay).
A few months ago, when I went for a make-up session in Bangsar, the make-up artist commented that my eyes and the area surrounding them were so dry and looked like had started to show some signs of ageing (sagging and thin lines). I heard her, and accepted the advice. However, I haven't found the eye cream or moisturiser that I should try experimenting. I have been checking out a few products but none actually fit my criteria. The product of my choice would be:

1. not tested on animal
2. doesn't contain animal by product
3. affordable (read: quite cheap because my road tax mati bulan ni, ok!)
4. nice smell
5. not greasy
6. easily absorbed by my skin
7. doesn't contain lead or any other poisonous chemical
8. branded stuff (otherwise, how to start this topic during those gossip sessions, right?)

So, if you know of any eye gel/cream/moisturiser that work magic and fit my criteria above, I'd be glad to hear your suggestions. Locallly made products are welcomed too. Yeah, I support the local entrepreneurs whenever possible!